You have a straight-up awesome life.
I don’t care what kinda stuff you gotta going on that might be trying to drag you down right now…
Your life kicks more ass than Bruce Lee, rocks harder than Ronnie James Dio, is cooler than Fonzie and contains more awesomeness than a team of break dancing babies.
Now, I realize you may not always remember that you have an awesome life, but you do. Sure, sometimes you remember, I bet there’s times when you feel like the coolest mother fucker on the planet with the most badass life around, but if you’re like most people, these thoughts are few and far between.
If you’re anything like me, you probably get caught up in trying to make a living, getting shit done and just trying to make it through the day sometimes as best you can.
And I’ll bet ya a fistful of Applebee’s coupons that you spend a fair amount of time worrying about a bunch of bad stuff that’s never gonna happen… all the while forgetting, just how good you have it. Just how awesome your life is.
Now, anyone who hasn’t been cooped up in a meth den in Barstow for the past ten years, living on a steady diet of amphetamines, pornography, snickers bars and Slayer albums, knows that one of the biggest keys to enjoying the awesome life you have is gratitude.
No matter how cliche or new agey that sounds, it don’t stop it from being true.
It’s good to remember that your life kicks fucking ass. Why? So you kick even more ass and have the time of your life doing it.
Here’s just a few of the reasons your life is straight-up bad ass…
1. You have food in the fridge, a roof over your head and there isn’t an army of badass mother fuckers on horses coming over the hill right now to kill the men, rape the women and burn down the entire village. Not tonight.
2. You can do just about anything you wanna do for a living. Luckily this has very little to do with brains, and is more about attitude, intense focus, action and “gittin’ after it” with relentless strides.
If you have an idea of what you want to do in your future, you must go at it with almost monastic obsession be it music, the ballet or just a basic degree. You have to go at it single-mindedly and let nothing get in your way.
3. You have a kick ass life because of your mistakes. Your mistakes are helping you to learn so much. Without them, you wouldn’t be half the person you are today, not even close.
4. Whether or not you remember them each day, you have some wild fucking dreams every night… man the shit you do in your dreams is out of this world. Gangsta.
5. You get to start over if you want right fucking now. In fact, any day, any second you want, you get to start all over. How cool is that?
6. You most likely have two of those arm thingys and two of those leg thingys. Remember, there’s people with less limbs than you, and many with no limbs, who couldn’t be happier.
7. You have eyes to read this. Or at least one of them, there are people who would trade their right nut to be able see like you do. ( Everyone is always trading their left nut, that’s why I decided to give a shout out to the right nut, it’s so misunderstood)
8. You don’t have some big fucking thing growing outta the side of your head. Be Thankful.
9. You can get in touch with just about anybody you want to. Blogs, email, phone, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn… you name it, it ain’t that hard to reach just about anybody you want to these days. Some people just takes a little more effort than others.
10. You don’t have a tattoo on your face that says “Fuck The World”. At least not yet.
11. You’re better at being you than any other person on this planet. And it comes natural to you, it’s like you don’t have to do a single thing to be you either. You make that shit look easy. Everyday people gotta wake up and be them, and you get to wake up and be you. Now that’s what I call awesome.
12. You know some super cool people, and many of them would probably do just about anything for you. A few would probably even give their right nut.
13. You can reach your friends on the other side of the planet in seconds.
14. You have sadness in your life. This is good, it makes you human. And being open to your sadness allows you to fully experience other feelings like happiness… plus, you have something to compare the good feelings to.
15. You’re not spending your life in prison for a crime you didn’t commit.
I once had a neighbor who spent like 15 years behind bars for a rape he didn’t do. DNA evidence was able to prove him innocent… but not until after he spent 15 years in one of the most miserable places in the world.
And… when I was a teen, I was exactly like the The West Memphis Three . I was into Black Metal, wore black, had long hair and drew pentagrams, upside down crosses and angry dead guys on fire killing other angry dead guys on fire all over my Trapper Keeper.
I was no different, with the exception of being fortunate enough to grow up in a area that was a little more forward thinking than West Memphis. Those dudes were called child killers and spent nearly two decades behind bars for something they didn’t do. That could just as easily have happened to me as it did them.
Life is all about seconds and inches.
16. Any kind of shit you wanna get into, good or bad, is available to you. There ain’t nothing you can’t experience these days. Just be willing to take responsibility for what you do, that’s all I have to say.
17. You have these amazing things called tastebuds that allow you to taste all kinds of awesome foods. Mmmmmmm
18. You’re not married to one of those “Real Housewives of Fill In The Blank” women. That would be living hell.
19. You’ve made it this far, many people don’t.
20. You’re not on heroin.
Now, if you are on heroin, or the pharmaceutical stuff like Oxy’s and Hydrocodone, please go get help. The good news is, you can turn everything around right now if you want to, countless people have proven it. 12 Step Meetings are probably a good place to start, and unlike just a few decades ago, meetings like this are everywhere. Addicts and Alcoholics used to live miserable lives and die miserable deaths because they didn’t have the kind of solutions available to them like we do today. Maybe it’s not you who’s addicted, but it’s someone you know. Help is available.
And… remember this, some of the happiest, coolest, most down to earth ( and even successful ) people in the world are sober drug addicts. Ever heard of a guy named Robert Downey Jr.? Lots of people turn everything around and have a more bad ass life than they ever could have imagined.
21. You get to train today
22. You have awesome problems, each one being a gift in disguise.
23. You have access to any kind of teachings or information you want, right at the tip of your fingers.
Wanna build or grow just about anything? You can easily find step-by-step instructions right there on your iphone or laptop.
Wanna start or join a religion? Google will help learn everything you need to know.
Wanna lose fat, get huge, learn a language, feel awesome, give someone an orgasm, type faster, cook better, learn history, grow weed, do crazy experiments on your little brother, prank the livin’ shit outta people, make money, spend money, be a badass, pick up women, pick up men, build a business, build something awesome out of Legos, see what’s going on anywhere in the world, find out what other movies the director of that awesome indie film you just saw has made … or maybe just raise a goldfish?
You don’t have to go far.
24. You’re sexy as fuck and you know it.
25. I bet you have one of those cool mobile device things that allows you to call and text friends, get and send emails, do business, buy shit, listen to music, watch movies, watch YouTube videos, get directions, navigate the way, surf the web, store information, take notes, record stuff, play games and even read this blog post. And that ain’t even like 1% of what it can do.
26. You get to wear whatever you want. No required uniform. You wear some cool shit don’t ya?
27. You get to do what you want, when you want. If you think you don’t, cuz you have a job or something, remember, having that job is your choice and you can get up and go do just about anything you want whenever you want to.
28. You can start a business from lap top and cell phone and work from whatever location you want to. I personally know dozens of people who live like this, probably more if I thought about it. And ya know what? Most of em’ ain’t no smarter than you.
29. You have access to bad ass shows like Breaking Bad, The Wire and Game of Thrones. Now that shit is EPIC.
30. You’re not two feet tall ( some mothers fuckers are… seriously, there’s some two footers in this world )
31. You have people who love you, probably some pretty awesome ones to. I bet they think the world of you don’t they?
32. If you want, you can have sex today… a lot of it too.
I remember being like 9 and would have given ANYTHING to be able to have sex. Seriously, I had a huge collection of baseball cards, a bunch of Mad Magazines, a gopher-snake and a Mongoose BMX bike with super-light fiberglass Z Rims… get me laid and it’s all yours.
33. You can reach millions with your message if you want to… Blogging, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Google, Podcasting… the tools and platforms are readily available for those who have something to say, and if it’s interesting, people will listen.
34. You’re alive, how fucking cool is that?
35. You’re a reader of this blog
And if you REALLY wanna have a kick ass life, become a subscriber, there’s a good chance your life will get even better!
P.S. If you liked this post, I’d love if you would push some of those social media sharing buttons like the Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and Google Plus buttons at the top of this post and share it with your friends
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