79 Reasons NOT to Workout Today

1161EA97-D3F8-4DEC-B04F-6B416FAC643D-w800-h600Here’s 79 reasons you definitely don’t wanna workout today…

1. Your dog ate your gym shoes

2. You don’t get good cell reception at the gym

3. American Idol, Honey Boo Boo, those Duck guys or some other lame show is on

4. You’re waiting for your workout partner. He hasn’t been returning your calls though—since 2010

5. You like the whole concept of weakness

6. You can’t find any cool workout outfits that fit you right

7. You like getting injured bending over picking up groceries

8. You’re visualizing your ideal body and the Law of Attraction is doing all the work for you

9. Workout? Sheeeet… I just pack my glock nigga!

10. Your headphones broke and you can’t stand the shitty music they play at the gym

11. You don’t wanna do steroids… all those guys who workout do steroids

12. You wanna do steroids… you just don’t know where to get any. Do you know a guy?

13. It’s too hard

14. It takes too much time

15. Health isn’t all that important

16. It’s easier to lift the remote

17. Working out is overrated

18. You’d rather just take a pill

19. The gym is too crowded

20. Your gym is always empty… it’s so boring there

21. You like stress and lots of it

22. You’ll start tomorrow

23. There’s a Twilight marathon on today. Back-to-back Twilight bitches!

24. You let your workout program fall by the side lately, so you’re gonna ride it out a while

25. You went last week. You don’t wanna overtrain

26. Chicks don’t like guys who workout. They want guys with money

27. You’re a female and don’t wanna get huge like those female bodybuilders

28. Endorphins are addictive and you don’t wanna get hooked. All it takes is one workout. You’d rather be safe than sorry.

29. Only insecure people need to workout to overcompensate for their insecurities

30. God loves you just the way you are

31. You actually do plan on working out today. Right after you finish this beer.

32. You’re waiting for your pre-workout stack to arrive in the mail

33. You’re out of creatine

34. You don’t wanna get all tight and muscle bound

19986738-5B87-4231-B3A5-5050F934D72F-w800-h60035. You heard it makes you grow hair on your hands

36. You don’t wanna get calluses

37. Your back hurts. Or your knee hurts. Or your big toe hurts. Or you got some other fucking boo-boo that you don’t wanna make worse by going to the gym

38. You saw a study on the news yesterday that working out is actually bad for you

39. You don’t have the time. But you got plenty of time to do some other dumb shit

40. You’re gonna try Weight Watchers first. Sally at work is getting really good results with it.

41. You’re in a relationship now so fuck it

42. It hurts too much

43. You’re waiting for New Years… 2015

44. You don’t live near a good gym

45. You worked out today! You did crunches at home. A whole 20 of ‘em

46. You’re too old

47. Too young

48. Too fat

49. You don’t don’t wanna hurt yourself

50. You’d rather take a step away from your goals than take a step towards them

51. You have no goals

52. But it’s Saturday

53. It’s Sunday. The Lord said not to workout on Sundays. It was his off-day

54. Who needs to workout when you’re hung like I am? (You may have a point)

55. You’re waiting til’ you get your shit together (Hint: You never will)

56. You’re waiting til you get motivated (Another hint: You’ll be waiting forever)

57. You saw a website that said it’s better to just take green coffee extract,, or Acai extract, or blueberry testicle extract… or some other hokie supplement

58. You like yourself just the way you are thank you very much!

59. You’re waiting to get your diet in order

59. Guys who workout are fags

60. You’re waiting til you can afford supplements. You really like supplements

61. But you’re too tired to workout

62. You enjoy feeling like shit

63. You like to train outside. But it’s too hot, too cold, raining, snowing, there’s a tornado warning, or it’s too nice of a day out to be exercising… who works out on a perfect day like this?

64. You don’t know where to start (Try YouTube fucker, tons of free videos on there that’ll show you exactly what to do)

65. Exercise is bad for your joints

66. All the good machines at the gym are always taken

67. You workout on Mondays… and today ain’t fucking Monday

68. Your ex goes to the gym and you don’t wanna run into them

69. You’re too hungry to workout

70. You’re too full

71. You’re saving up for the lap-band surgery

72. You enjoy the skinny-fat look

73. Working out aggravates your shoulder… making it hard to masturbate

74. The wedding is over. Now it’s time to just sit on your ass

75. You’re gonna start… gonna eat fucking perfect too man… you’re gonna do everything right… gonna get RIPPED!… and you’re starting tomorrow… it’s gonna be soooo awesome

76. You’re not eating good right now so there’s no point in working out

77. But you don’t feel like working out right now

61D3C940-E9D7-43E6-BB92-1D2343391268-w800-h60078. You’re waiting for your “No2 Explode” to kick in. You’ve been on it 3 months now but don’t think it’s kicked-in yet

79. You obviously haven’t read 41 Reasons to Train Today

And one more for good measure:

You can’t pull yourself away from ChrisMcCombs.net … it’s that fucking good!

Just go train already will ya?

Do what I do. Just tell yourself you’re just gonna do a few light sets. Within 10 minutes you’ll be hitting it hard. Works like a charm

If you’ve got any good excuses of your own, I’d love to hear em’ below

And if you liked this post, you might also like

80 Badass Quotes About Training

Why I Train No Matter What

I Am, I Train

And if you wanna get more posts like this one, subscribe here and I’ll be sure to send you the new posts as I write ‘em…

Talk soon,

Big Chris

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Comments

  1. Bwahahaa! I loved these Chris! My favorite is “too”, because it can be “too” anything. Too old, too fat…great article man!

    Jay Scott

  2. Ryan Dayton says:

    What if I have school directly after work, till 10:00pm? I think I can take at least one day off from the gym during the week for school.

    Haha! Anyways, love the post Chris! I train everyday except Wednesdays due to long nights in class.

    Thanks for the motivation and keep em coming!

  3. Good one Chris. i’m printing a few of these out and posting them in the kitchen. I have decided that this is the year I change up some fundamental health issues. This will help me stand tall far away from the backslide. You rock!

  4. BAH HA HA! #27 BAH HA HA!

  5. I don’t care for excuse number 9. Especially using the word nigga! If he or she is packing a Glock more than likely they don’t workout anyway.

    • Im sure my man chris will reply to you accordingly,but i was just curious to know why “nigga” is still offensive?? I mean really?its almost 2014, isnt it time to become consious enough to know that every “word” we say is nothing more than a simple noise coming from our monkey mouths? But hey, to each his own!!!! Rock on chris, your fuckin killin it bro!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey rod, it’s just humor man, there was no mean spiritedness behind it

      I respect your opinion though – no doubt

  6. What about, “I’m too drunk or hungover”. Or, “The house is a mess.”

  7. I can’t work out today, I’m waiting for a package.

    My girlfriend and I broke up and I need to think things over.

    I never read that Hemingway worked out, so why should I?

  8. How about this for ab excuse….

    I once had a client show up with bruises on her knees, around her wrists, on her forehead and “my inner thighs & lower back are too sore from Friday night…… ‘S…. workout”! ••guilty look on face•• My reply “but we haven’t trained since Thursday morning. And we trained shoulders…”

    Her reply was to inform me she picked up a 23 year old on the Vegas strip (she’s 30) got a hotel room and let him do “whatever he wanted” on her. Take note that I just trained her for 4 months right down to a Victoria’s Secret model physique (yes… That hot. 5’10″, 34-25-34 all legs and HOT) and that night started a 6 month f*ck fest. She’s fresh out if a bitter divorce.

    Needless to say, I accepted that excuse! I did my job. I made her not just look hot, but feel hot.

    Just thought I’d share that story :-D

  9. Mike mentzer told me I’d reach my genetic potential in one of hard training so I decided to just stop after that…

  10. Hey Chris:

    I have one more reason re not to work out: The average person’s heart beats about 2.5 million times in a lifespan of 75 years or so… Working out accelerates your heartbeat, right? Do the math…

    Richard

  11. I would go workout today, but chuck norris will be there today and the big brother live feeds are on!!!!!! Lol…. I know ive come up with crazy dumb reasons not to hit the gym!!!!!! Stay strong

  12. Great little piece of motivation, Chris!

    I needed that.

  13. “My hormones are all out of whack so I can’t workout.” My all time favorite is, “I’ll start next Monday.”

  14. Don’t want to do it alone, so I just keep letting my family’s bad TV and eating habbits drag me down. Getting a new family seems like the only alternative, but I don’t want to give them up. So really, I’m NOT working out for them… Because I’m a good mom/wife.

  15. I’m too awesome, I should slow down a bit :D

  16. William Littrell says:

    I can’t go to the gym I just got my nails done.

    It’s been said that exercise won’t kill you, but I don’t wanna test that statement.

  17. Rich Clench says:

    My pet rock had a ballet recital at the same time my parakeet had her French lessons.. these are great Chris

  18. I’ve always hear “I’m waiting to get motivated” (As if motivation is like lightning that strikes.). I tell them that action leads to motivation, not the other way around. As I see it, people need to just do it then as the results come, they will start feeling motivated!

  19. Mark St. Peter says:

    I shaved my balls this morning and it chafes when I do squats.

  20. Damn you Chris, you are too right sometimes!

    Now this one: “44. You don’t live near a good gym” I can get away with using. I live and work in Egypt. I’m not in Bumfuck Egypt but I can see it from here and believe me, there are no gyms out here!

    So there! I have my excuse…..except….

    I did buy that TRX fitness system that I can use anywhere and I did bring back that sandbag to do sandbag workouts and we do have shitloads of sand out here (big surprise, Egypt, desert, right?)

    Ok, Ok, I’m going (bitch, mumble, groan)…….

    Thanks for (virtually) kicking my ass into gear Chris!

  21. And not being able to get to the gym is not an excuse either. Pull ups, push ups, and sit ups can all be done at home!

  22. I’m not too thrilled about number 9, Chris! I wish this word would go away.. FOREVER! You have the power to make it happen on your blog by not using it. As an African American, I find the word highly offensive and extremely degrading.

  23. Adrian "Daisy" Day says:

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