What’s one thing you can change in your life today that will set you on a path to a more badass and fulfilling existence?
There may be a whole bunch of things you wanna change… but what’s the one thing that will have the biggest impact that you can change now?
What’s the one thing that will make it easier to change some of the other things?
For example, if you’d like to save more money, but have a gnarly heroin addiction, then you might wanna address the heroin thing first, since it will make saving money a whole lot easier. Active heroin addicts are known for their bad spending habits and poor money management skills. And I ain’t just making this shit up—it’s fucking science!
Kicking a heavy opioid and benzo addiction is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. And when I quit, I had to change how I did just about everything… literally everything. But when you’re fresh off drugs that kill pain and anxiety, EVERYTHING hurts and everything is scary; even just making a piece of toast can be an adventure in agonizing brutality. But in the end, it was far beyond worth it.
However, I wouldn’t have been able to change anything if I first didn’t detox my body from the drugs and go through the horribly uncomfortable physical, mental and emotional withdrawals.
Almost all change is uncomfortable.
… Leaving a relationship that’s longer right for you, but is so comfortable and convenient that you’ve been sticking around, thereby not creating the space to let someone new in or giving you some time alone so you can focus on your own personal growth (or maybe you’ve been sticking around for fear of being alone…)
Maybe you’re comfortable at that job that’s paying the bills, but it’s keeping you from chasing after that dream career of yours that might not pay jack diddly squat—at least not yet—but that sings to your heart.. and you just know you’d be so much happier if you could spend your days doing that awesome thing, instead of the thing you’re doing now.
Maybe you have an addiction you need to throw a good old-fashioned kibosh down on.
Maybe it’s time to start making better food choices and get going on a regular exercise routine…. even though you’re hooked on Ben and Jerry’s and haven’t seen the inside of a gym in a years
Whatever it is, change is uncomfortable.
It can hurt and be scary as a mother fucker sometimes.
But it beats the alternative.
Because unless you just wanna wither away into a life that not only no longer excites you, but also causes you huge amounts of unneeded suffering, change is necessary.
And sometimes, the hardest part is just making the decision to change… that deep down-in-your-gut decision that you’re gonna change no matter fucking what.
But once you make that decision, and start walking through the fire of your fears, doubts, and pain, a beautiful thing starts to happen…
Even just a one degree tweak in the course you walk today will set you off on an entirely new path, and you’ll experience a new reality that just wasn’t possible before.
Change. It’s the nature of everything. It’s the one thing that’s required to do just about anything worthwhile… and to live a life worth living.
Sometimes it’s just a small change, like turning off the TV and picking up a book. And sometimes it’s a big change, like making a complete 180 degree turn from the direction you were heading, and onto something much greater. Like maybe a direction you read about in that book you picked up.
I know a number of guys who’ve spent nearly half their lives in prison, and now they’re some of the most loving, giving and honest people you’ll ever meet… they spend their days helping others and being grateful for what the have… even for the simple things that you and I take for granted, like freedom.
Being in the fitness industry I know people who were morbidly obese and now look like fitness models.
I know guys who’ve made millions of dollars doing something they no longer enjoy, and now live month-to-month doing what they love and are so much happier, even though they no longer have the big house, big bank account and fast car.
Is there something in your life that you want, or need, to change?
Is there something that you just know in your gut isn’t serving you or your purpose?
I bet there is.
A career or job that’s sucking the life right outta your soul?
A friend, lover or business partner you need to let go of?
A habit that once served a purpose, but is now doing more harm than good?
An addiction that’s eating away your life—and maybe it’s time to get some help so you can stop?
Are there words coming out of your mouth that aren’t serving you… like complaints, condemnation or gossip?
Is fear paralyzing you from going after your dreams and it’s time to just man the fuck up and walk through it?
Are you spending too much time worrying about things that are out of your control—and maybe could use a regular meditation routine to help you live more in the moment and more in your heart instead of your mind?
Is there someone who betrayed you that you hate with every bone in your body, and the resentment is eating away at your happiness? Is it time to let go and forgive ’em?
Is there something you need to come clean about? A secret that’s poisoning you deep inside?
Is there someone you wronged and need to make things right with?
Is there something that’s happened to you or someone you love that you’ve been having a hard time accepting? Would you be better off letting go of the resistance? (What is IS, and you can’t change what happened, but you can change how you see it.)
Is there something in your life that you see as horrible and maybe you’d be better off if you looked for the gifts and lessons in it? Or just looked at it in a new light or from a new direction?
Recently I’ve made some changes in my own life.
Nothing as big as kicking the hard narcotics or walking away from the comfy job I hated to start my own business.
But these changes are definitely having an impact.
I wasn’t being as productive in my business as I wanted to be. Nor was I was getting to spend enough quality time with my family as I’d like.
So I decided to make a few changes in how I structured my day.
I started getting up 3 hours earlier, and going to bed 3 hours earlier. (I’ve always been a night person)
I cut down on the time it takes to get my day going in half. (I’m a slow starter in the morning and what could have taken me an hour to do was taking me two-and-a-half)
I structured my day into regular work hours like if I had a real job—God forbid. (For years, I’ve been working at home from a laptop and each day I started when I wanted to start and stopped when I wanted to stop… I now work regular hours and have a starting and ending time.)
I turned email off on my phone. (I was checking it obsessively; I now keep it off over 99% of the time and only turn it on if I’m on the go and need to send an important email.)
I cut out a large portion of the negative entertainment I was paying too much attention to. Not all, but a lot, especially in the morning. (I’ve been fascinated by crime stores ever since about the third grade and have always loved reading real life gangster stuff and watching documentaries about criminal enterprises. Part of my morning routine was reading crime stories with my morning coffee. I cut it out … (The crime stories, not the coffee, how dare you?)
These tiny changes have been having a big impact.
Things are gonna change with or without you.
It’s so much better to be proactive and create the changes you want, in ways that best serve you, your journey and the world your children will one day inherit… instead of just sitting on your ass in the living room of regret.
Take a stand and make a decision to change one thing today that you’ve been putting off… and then do what you need to do.
You have no control over the results of your actions, only your actions… and hopefully most things will turn out to your liking, even if it doesn’t seem like it at first.
But even when things that don’t go your way, at least you can look your soul in the eye and know that you did what was right, that you you did everything you could to do fix things, to heal wounds, to live better, to follow your purpose and to walk the path of the heart with honor and integrity.
And when you can do that, peace and happiness are yours, because you’ll know you didn’t just lie down and die. You stood up, put one foot in front of the other, and faced life head on like a fucking soldier.
And that my friend, will change everything.
If you’d like some ideas on where to start, I recommend 37 Ways to be a Total Badass
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