Hardcore Happiness

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The key to happiness is to get naked…

No designer jeans required. In fact, if you’ve got some on right now, tear em’ off and throw em’ on the floor.

“I think the invention of pockets ruined everything, I think we were much happier, living naked, running around on the beach eating fruit and fucking”

Tom Rhodes

I once saw a Craigslist ad, in the section, where they list all the boot camps and fitness training services. The ad was for “Nude Personal Training”. The guy talked about how training nude was the best way to get results, and he was happy to come and help you out for just $100 a session.

However, you better hurry cuz’ he can only take on up to 6 clients at a time, and right now 4 of those spots are taken, so there’s only 2 spots left, meaning, you better act fast if you’re interested. Can you start this afternoon?

Nice little racket this guy had, getting bored Orange County housewives to take their clothes off and do squats for him for $100 an hour.

7B9A7CF0-B753-4AEE-B3F9-735192A7EA21

And if you need help with some nutritional planning or life coaching, he’s happy to help you out with that too. We all know what hard work weight loss can be, so whatever it takes to make you happy while you lose the weight, he’s at your service.

Now… this blog post is about the bare-nakedness of happiness… but not that kind of happiness, or that kind of nakedness.

It’s about being naked in a whole different kinda way…

Naked of the idea that we can only be happy “because of” something outside of us, instead of just plain being fucking happy.

The happiness can stay, but the “because of”, is a rude and unwelcome guest, and has gotta go.

The entire reason happiness is such an elusive little son of a bitch is that we’ve been looking in the wrong places…

… Like in ones and zeros on a screen, in people, and in between their legs, in the future and over there, in some idealistic life that can never come true and even if it did, we most likely wouldn’t want it.

Do we really think hapE39DC25A-78DF-44C5-BC8E-E54E477FD8DDpiness is meant to be all that complicated?

Yes, we “think” so… because it’s our thinking that causes it to be that way in the first place.

We think if we just get enough money, enough possessions, enough security, enough sex, enough love, enough attention, enough admiration, the right person and the right look, the we, will be happy.

For guys, most of this usually about the money and sex, for women, love and security.

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

Jim Carrey

But we really know don’t we?

Deep inside we know that no matter how many numbers we’re able to get up there on that screen, no matter how much cool shit we own, now matter how much recognition and respect the world gives us, no matter what we look like or the person we’re with looks like… none of it’s gonna fill that fucking hole…

4AE12A65-C57B-416F-A35D-32A0326A955A… That bottomless pit that only exists because we keep digging away with the shovel of our longing.

Part of us knows that no matter how deep we dig, we’re never gonna get there. At least the part of us that never dies knows this.

And the reason we can never get there, is because we’re already there.

“We are never living, but hoping to live; and while we are always preparing to be happy, it is certain, we shall never be so”

Pascal

The truth that you and I already know, is that if we’re not happy right here and now, we’re never gonna be happy then and over there…. no matter how perfect of a life we’re able put together when we get there.

And even if the perfect life would make us happy, the fact is, life ain’t never gonna be perfect, except for in it’s imperfections.

596CF13E-0340-4817-B493-B996811B4B44Like the late great Bill Hicks said, life is a ride at an amusement park. It’s full of twists and turns and ups and downs … and no one rides for free.

I mean, let’s be real here, life is fucking hard man. It can dish out one helluva beating more brutal than the fiercest of leg breakers ever to carry a baseball bat and a pair of pliers.

Life is full of conflict, chaos and hard painful lessons. And every time we solve a problem, it’s replaced by two more.

But no matter how hard life is, it’s light years beyond awesome, and we have a CHOICE…

We can get all worked up about what’s going wrong in our lives, who’s screwing us over, and how things should be some other way.

Or we can accept things as they are, and be happy regardless of what our life is like at the moment.

Of course we can work to change the parts we don’t like, if changing them is something we wanna do. But we gotta be cool on the inside in spite of any crazy shit we may be going through.

And yes, there will be periods when happiness seems utterly impossible. When not even Richard Pryor himself could come back from the dead and get us to crack a smile.

Like when we lose someone we love and who meant the world to us. These are the times we just need to ride it out and hold on with everything we’ve fucking got, because after the dark nights, the days will be more beautiful than ever before… if we’re willing to fully experience the pain. If we can do that, we can be happy.

We actually get to decide right here, right now, to be miserable, or to be happy, no matter how complicated, fucked up or disagreeable our life may be.

And if we can’t be happy right here, right now… at least most of the time…  then we’re never gonna be able to be happy if and when we finally get life dialed in the way we want it.

“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.”

Martha Washington was DEFINITELY hardcore about her happiness

Screen Shot 2013-06-08 at 5.55.53 PMBeing happy is about being a human with a full spectrum of emotions. Sometimes you feel great, and sometimes not so great.

If you find yourself feeling “not so great”, more often then you’d like to, then eat better, move more, meditate, face whatever it is you’re putting off and help more other people to be happy.

It’s as simple as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Happiness is not over there.

And it’s never then.

It’s right here, right now, anytime you want it.

All it takes, is an uncompromising commitment to be happy, no matter what.

The choice is yours (=

77FD58C5-17B3-49A0-BC23-67F1990767E9Talk soon,

Big Chris

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Written by Chris McCombs

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Comments

  1. A great read. Motivating and energising. A firm committment to true happyness.

  2. Isabella J. says:

    That so totally reminded me what life is all about! Thank you!

  3. That’s a powerful blog, the happiest I’ve ever been was when I had nothing !!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      I’ve had a very similar experience myself, in that the most miserable I was is when I had everything

      Life is a trip, what a ride (=

  4. Chris, this is a great one.

  5. absofuckinglutely !

  6. Thank you, Chris…once again, you nailed it in a no BS way.

  7. Thank you for that reminder. Great quotes.
    For people screwed up since the beginning it is a hard work to not only know this but “live” it. The article reminded me about Anthony de Mello “Awareness”.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks Matt, never heard of that book, just googled it, looks interesting man, thanks for the hot tip

  8. I tried everything to fill that hole. Everyone has a void in their life, people will try money, possessions,relationships, love, drugs….anything. At the age of 23 I finally figured it out. I had gone to church my whole life and that helped, but religion isn’t quite it. the world is full of false religions. The answer (so many people have found) is a relationship with God that can only come through Jesus Christ. I discovered that people don’t share this to be pushy, but they really want people to discover that Jesus is the only thing that satisfies. After trying everything else I can say this is true. it’s not about church, but your relationship with Jesus.

    • Ha, ha.. at my almost 50 I have not figured it out yet. If someone out there figured out what makes sense in life, I’d like to hear it. Does life make sense?

      • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

        Hey Lana

        I sure ain’t figured it out, but definitely enjoying this crazy journey as often as possible

        I see by your URL that you’re into all this nutty self discovery stuff as well

        Funny, how the less we think we know, the better off we are, at least that’s been my experience

        You might like this: http://youtu.be/w2xzIgdD_XA

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey AJ, thank you so much for your input and sharing what works for you

  9. Totally awesome way to start my day. I love this! Thanks!!

  10. Happiness can be “achieved”, when we stop giving meaning and evaluations to situations and people. Everything is just what it is. It is neither good, nor bad. We give meaning to everything, and exactly that meaning turns us into slaves of live and brings sadness. Once we let go of our expectations of how “life is supposed to be”, we will be free to actually enjoy what life IS. :))

    Once again great post!

    Ines

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey Ines, hope you’re doing Girl

      Yeah, “life is supposed to be” … that’s a real happiness killer ain’t

      Things should be like this, like that, this should be happening, that shouldn’t be happening…. all day long

      Been there. Hate it. Done with it. (=

      Accepting the Isness of it all is the key ya know?

      Funny, Isness, is very close to your name Ines

  11. I love reading you posts. They are like receiving a bitch slap wake call to action. Super inspiring. Thank you.

  12. Sorry I ment to put wake up call. Lol

  13. I agree with all the sentiments expressed here but I also noticed that you only posted pictures of attractive and slim people in your article and so for me that was a real bummer because I felt it detracted from the credibility of the message that “outside” issues (and certainly appearance is an outside issue in a very literal way) don’t matter.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Indra, there’s pictures of not only ugly people all over this blog, maybe just not in this post

      But whatever works for you, each to their own I guess

      thanks for your input, much appreciated and considered (=

  14. Beautifully written !!
    Happiness is inside us all.

  15. Great post Chris,

    Loved it 🙂

    Especially this quote that jumped out at me…

    “The truth that you and I already know, is that if we’re not happy right here and now, we’re never gonna be happy then and over there…. no matter how perfect of a life we’re able put together when we get there.”

    POWerful!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey thanks Tim

      ( love your little wordpress avatar by the way with the helmet )

      Ya know what’s funny, for years I had an idea of what the perfect life would look like, and I worked hard to make it happen, but when i finally got it, I was miserable as fuck

      It was a HUGE lesson for me man, HUGE lesson

      thanks again bud

  16. I love the way you are so straight forward with no BS! Great post!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Why thank you Pamela, not being straight forward in past has cost me a lot

      Always learning…

  17. Wayne moore says:

    Having a tough time today, mainly cos of the shit processed fake foods I have eaten, this has cheered me up. Your blogs are epicly awesome man, keep up the great work brother, we’re all in this together 🙂

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Damn Wayne, I know all about that shitty processed foods binge feel

      Know it too well

      Great thing is, a little exercise and a fresh raw veggie juice and you’re back to good

      at least that’s how it’s worked for me

  18. Chris Forever Young says:

    Love it! One of my favorite sayings I’d “Decide to be happy no matter what happens, and then, no matter what happens, you’re Happy!”. Rock on, Big Chris!

  19. AJ Brown Jr says:

    !

  20. I so agree. I have lost many people who have been close to me.. and you know now I can’t remember what those dark days felt like now. I know they existed, but now I can’t remember the pain anymore…. and guess what ….the days are more beautiful and mostly I am pretty happy and on the days when I am not I try that phrase ..”this too will pass”. All the time I am breathing its my choice to get the best out of each day I am given, so if I choose not too I have to live with those emotions in just the same way that I live with happiness when I choose it. Thanks for a thought provoking blog. I’ve only just discovered you but I enjoy what you have to say!

  21. I really needed this – thank you. 🙂

  22. My friends and I, “Hunt the good stuff” everyday! We find at least 3 things that make us happy that day, and take the time to reflect on and share these things. It really helps to counteract the negative bias so many people seem to live by! I really enjoyed this article, thanks!!

  23. Chris, I like how you put together “hardcore” and “happiness” into what it is. And it’s not one vs another. It’s all together, happiness has many flavors. Between future and past, there is just this moment of what it is. It may be a great pain or great joy, but that’s it. We cannot go further than that. I mean before you do something about trying to be happy – meditation, seeing positive things around, etc., you have to “got it”, the sticky point of what is now. Very tricky…it’s not just acceptance, it’s actually ENJOYING what it is now. Can we learn? hardly…you get it or not.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      What a crazy thing life is

      It’s all a choice, right here, right now

      I love the way Bill Hicks says it here:

      http://youtu.be/iMUiwTubYu0

      • Thanks for the link. Love it!
        My favorite quote of my teacher:
        ” Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming…Wow…What a ride!”
        …though a well-preserved body would be nice to have also 🙂

  24. I feel a little happier each time I read your blog and I think is a big deal be learning english, so I can have access to what you and many others good writers can share with us.

  25. Wildcherry says:

    I’ll be funky and add that I loved the gorgeous tatoos..weirdly, each time I saw her pic, I took a breath, refocused, and read on!
    Whatever works, right 🙂
    BTW,awesome word combo : Hardcore Happiness. LOVE IT.

  26. Hey, I’m from Russia!
    I will even share it in vk.com, which is a huge social network around the world (but no one in the US talks about it)
    🙂
    Great job!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      OW Kristi, super cool of you

      Amazing that this reaches you over in Russia

      I remember seeing movies about Russia when I was a kid and you were the bad guys we we’re supposed to constantly fear

      Now, you’re getting my blog posts all the fucking way over there, so awesome

      and thanks a ton again for sharing

  27. YES.
    That is all there is to it today – one big YES.

    Thank you for reminding me!

  28. Once again great post Chris. You continue to inspire me. Thanks for that.

  29. Chris!!!
    My God!
    The black dog was biting at my heals yesterday, (some days feel better than others and in Australia we refer to depression lightly as the black dog).
    I woke this morning to your post- it was just like your post on Serendipidity- to me! Of all days and moments in time when I needed a no bull shit pick me up from someone who is not flogging a certain religion, cause, motive or lack of empathy for our own challenges- you have absolutely nailed it!!
    I struggle ALL the time with trying to meet other people’s opinions, expectations and atandards. I struggle bitterly to try to be everything to everyone- try to please EVERYONE! It’s such a hard thing to shake, but as you reminded me at the beginning of your post- let it all go if it doesn’t serve me!!
    Chris- thank you SO SO sincerely!!
    You have just made me feel brand new!!

    A. 🙂

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Ahhhh, you just made me so happy

      thanks Alanna

      I know that black dog well ( although never heard that term )

      Fuck him, he doesn’t deserve you

      Give that white dog a big ass treat and pat on the head, he’s the one you wanna be with

  30. Love this man, keep that fire coming!

  31. Chris, this post was extremely powerful brother!

  32. Reinforced what I already knew but somehow I needed a kick in the ass tonight! thanks for the reminder!!!

  33. I’ve been going through a difficult time. Emotionally and mentally

    Big Chris’ words here are reminding and helping to live in the moment. Just BE in the feelings and do the best I can. Help others and move. I’m helping other people and I’m training hard. Doesn’t always help right away but I know better things will come

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      It’ll pass brother, it’ll pass

      Awareness and right action

      you know the drill

      glad the post helped some Chris

  34. enjoyed the “hardcore” spin on happiness- really helps hammer it home!

    reassured some of the thoughts & writings I had in my last post as well about how at the end of the day, happiness just is. (And nothing else!)

    have a big day 😉

    Kaitlyn, (aka simplycomplicatedkait)

  35. First time here…need to reread a few times; but thanks

  36. Happy..right here; right now! Thanks for a great start to my day! Gonna try to keep it one day at a time! Thanks Man! “Resist Nothing”!!

  37. Lots of Truth here Chris with a capital T. The answer is simple, yet impossibly hard. It is in each of us at any time but it is not as easy as it sounds and there is no shortcut.

    We all fail in multiple instances within our lives – all of us – so reading this is good to reflect & recognize the power we have within.

    I’ll give you a quick story/example of how the “over there” is impossible to reach – it is mythical actually.

    Much of my adult life I’ve hovered around 240 pounds across my 6’2″ frame. I’ve always been active but not always in great visible shape – and its that last part that ate at me at times. Forget that I reached PR’s in Squat, Deadlift, etc. – I wanted to “look” the part and became obsessed with it. I dropped into the low 220’s and felt fantastic – hadn’t weighed under 225 since I graduated college. But it wasn’t enough. I pushed harder and made it under 210. Instead of being happy & satisfied I met this huge personal goal I lamented that I still had belly fat and lost muscle in getting down to that weight. The “over there” for me was no closer when I made it to 207 pounds than it was at 240. And I was miserable in the gym – literally punishing myself to lose more weight while trying to maintain muscle – tons of stress, which is counterproductive to any health & fitness. I crashed hard, burned out and went the opposite way – ignoring healthy diet & ignoring nagging injuries until my body started to rebel.

    I train a lot smarter now. And I enjoy it a ton more. I still have goals – but I worry less about getting to that mythical “over there” and I’m enjoying the journey more.

    Be well…

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Man Andy, thanks so much for sharing this

      Dude, I had almost the EXACT experience. And I too crashed

      These…

      “I train a lot smarter now. And I enjoy it a ton more. I still have goals – but I worry less about getting to that mythical “over there” and I’m enjoying the journey more.”

      Are wise words brother

  38. Hey Chris,

    I’ve been following your stuff for a while now and have gained a great deal of appreciation for your bold, forward and unapologetic, masculine blog-style. No excuses. No fluff. No sales-pitch. I’ve struggled over the years with embracing my machismo for what it is – a blessing (my wife and kids are pleased with my metamorphosis).

    You show that we can “lift things up and put them down” and not be idiots, numb to strong spiritual input/output.

    Also of note, I’ve enjoyed seeing the transformation in your writing skills!!! It’s inspired me to start tapping the keys and scratching ink to paper again.

    Damn the shrugs and rock the deadlifts!!
    Jer!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Right on Jeremy, stoked to hear you’re writing

      If you haven’t read “The War of Art” by Stephen Pressfield, it’s one of the few must reads for writers

      You will love it, I promise. Short and punchy too.

      Loved what you said about “lift things up and put them down” too

      classic

  39. I just signed up for a muay thai gym and most people there are super nice but a few guys are assholes and try to sparr and kick me even tho it was mysecond fucking day. I left the gym after 3 hrs more depressed than id ever been. But im gonna keep going….thanks for the post and like rocky said lifes about how much u can get hit and keep goin

  40. Rick LaCross says:

    Happiness is relative and you are a guy who’s gone thru a lot of shit,,,,,,, and your still on a journey…… I can’t wait to see where this trip takes you Bro! Because you sure make it interesting to read! Much respect!

  41. Nice inspirational thoughts but please cut the swearing…

  42. Hey Chris im a great fan of your writing and what really strikes me is that you take out the time personally to answer everyones comments, thats really awesome bro .And keep kicking ass with those articles man
    yours obedient
    akul
    ps: dont cut out the swearing , no matter wat anyone says ; peace !!!

  43. Absolutely love, Love LOVE your posts.
    Keep on truckin’ !
    – Jen

  44. Man it was one of the significant articles I would read in my life.

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