How To Evolve Like a Fucking Champ

Most people keep running into the same problems over and over. Here’s how to NOT be one of these people…

This post is gonna show you how to evolve into the most badass, and centered, mofo you can be

A few years back…

the-path

The Path (“From the beginning to the end, no one but you” – Rumi). By Alice Popkorn on Flickr.

I’m at The Department of Motor Vehicles to get my motorcycle license.  I pull up to the testing area on my Harley Davidson Cross Bones. The bike weighs in at close to 800lbs, and me, being 6’6″ and big on both heavy weight lifting sessions and good cooking… I come in at just under 350lbs…

… Making for a combined total of close to 1150lbs.

Next me in line was a guy who had a one of those like little mini-bike things, I believe it was a 50cc… about 1/32nd as many cc’s as mine was holding. I joked with him about how if I sat on his bike I would probably crush it … but when I was about 10 it’s all could think of, owning a mini bike.

The gentleman responsible for marking the tests takes one look at my Harley and tells me there’s no way I’m gonna pass. He explains how the bike is way too heavy for the obstacle course. I tell him I’ve been riding motorcycles since I was kid, have had many dirt and street bikes ever since, and that passing the test will not be an issue.

He shakes his head “no” and points to a line of orange cones, and then a little circle that’s about 8 or 10 feet in diameter. Apparently I’m to ride my motorcycle around this little circle and keep my tires within two lines on the outside of the circle that look to be about 18 inches apart from each other.

I reassure him “I got this shit”

I jump on, go through the little course with little difficulty, however, when I gets to the line of cones of which I’m apparently supposed to zig-zag between, I plow half of em’ over. Damn, that sucked, I know that dude is marking some serious points off for that move.

I collect my focus and continue onto the little circle I’m supposed to ride around, I screw that one up even bigger. I look over at the test guy and he’s shaking his head and smiling at me with a big old bright-eyed and shiny “I told ya so” grin. And I gotta admit, I’m a little embarrassed, I’ve been riding since I was a kid and a whole bunch of people sitting and standing outside the DMV just saw me fail this motorcycle test miserably.

Then the dude with the little 50cc mini-bike says to me “Hey man, you wanna try mine?” … half joking like.

And that’s exactly what I do. I put my big 345lb ass down on this little 50cc mini bike, and make my way through the little obstacle course, cones, the circle, the whole deal.

A massive crowd of people forms on the sidewalk next to where I’m taking the test to watch this spectacle.

I look just like one of those circus bears that ride the tricycles.

The distance between the seat and the foot board must have only been about 12 inches, much too short for my super long and massive legs, causing my knees to stick way out to the side and about a foot hiScreen Shot 2013-04-22 at 8.13.33 PMgher than the handle bars. I would have fit better on this thing when I was about 9.

As I round the corner for home, the crowd cheers me on. I make it, mission accomplished.

I must have looked hilarious out there, and by the looks on the spectators faces as they laugh their asses off, I did.

A 6’6″ 345 pound man maneuvering an obstacle course on a tiny little 50cc mini-bike meant for a child.

I passed the test on that thing, and had a great time taking it.

To evolve, we must adapt, and sometimes in life, getting to the next level is fun.

But sometimes, when it’s a new level of who we are, when it’s “us” that needs to go up a level and not just something on the outside, it can hurt… bad.

It’s easier to just point the finger at that guy over there… the girl who broke your heart, the employer who doesn’t appreciate you, the partner who didn’t stick to their end of the agreement, the government that wants to control you… fill-in-the-blank.

It usually feels better to just place blame over there, for your problems over here, instead of being self-responsible and looking at parts of yourself that aren’t all that pretty.

Because taking personal accountability for some of the dumb shit we do, can be about as fun as stubbing the big toe of our emotions on the fact that we’re not as hip, slick, smart, cool and sexy as you’d like others to believe we are.

But, if we’re willing to look into the reflection of the situation, and see our part, we can rise above it. If we’re willing to look at our lives and know that we are responsible for every condition, every circumstance, every outcome and every wound, we can find our freedom.

For We Are The Cause, And Our Life Is The Effect.

However, this is not the path for cowards, it’s the path of your inner hero. It takes the willingness to feel great amounts of pain, and not run from it by projecting it onto some usual suspect or distracting ourselves with blame, resentment, busywork, addictions and other avoidance activities.

It’s about giving up the need to control what’s “out there” and focusing on changing our own thoughts, behaviors and habits. Reminding ourselves, it’s not what “they” think that matters, it’s what we think and what we do.

Taking this kind of responsibility can be agonizing to put it lightly, but if we don’t do it, we’ll keep having the same old déjà vu type experiences. We’ll keep banging our heads on the the same brick walls, pulling in the same kind of people and re-creating the same kind of circumstances in our lives, until we finally learn our lessons… or we don’t.

This kind of radical accountability is true healing at the ground zero of our being, pulling the cause of our suffering up by it’s roots and planting something beautiful in it’s place.

It’s being willing to look at ourself squarely in the eye, and feel the raw nerve the size of a bowling ball that sits in our chest and stomach and just fucking deal with it.

The pain is our passageway to new found strength, courage, awesomeness, character, experiences and growth.

8A7A3882-F691-4787-917B-8B1DA1CDD0ABIt’s being willing to forgive, knowing that in reality, it’s ourselves that we’re forgiving. When we forgive, we’re able change the entire way the game is played, and are now armed with love, acceptance and unseen amounts of personal power. Even if we don’t always end up with the most marbles in our dish, or checkers on the board, we end up winning the game against our “self”… the little mother fucker that lives nowhere but in our heads.

It’s saying “I’m wrong”, and meaning it. It’s putting our asses on the line for what we believe in. It’s putting our art, ourselves and our cause out there for the entire world to see, no matter what anyone thinks about it or says about it. It’s being vulnerable, naked and exposed.

It’s using our guilt to hold ourselves accountable and strive towards something greater, while staying out of the life smothering state of shame. When you know you’ve done a bad thing, that’s guilt, when you think you’re a bad person because of it, that’s shame, and that shit will kill you.

It’s about realizing we’re not perfect, never will be, but can still kick a ton of ass while we’re here and have one helluva good time.

For us to do so, we need to keeping growing, because the awesomeness is not in the stagnant, it’s in the momentum.

To grow, we need to be self-actualized. We need to completely experience pain when it rises up in us. Now yes, this pain can suck, but here’s the great thing… the more we can experience and allow it to be, without resistance, distraction or blame, not only will we be able to grow more, but the more we’ll be able to experience the “good” emotions when they rise up in us

In 25 Ways To Feel Totally Fucking Awesome, I wrote about how, to feel good, we must also feel bad. There is no such thing as always trotting down the yellow brick road with a joyous spring in your step and smile on your face.

A lot of self-help and new age gurus will tell you that you should ALWAYS be in a good mood, filled with harmonious joy, love towards all and walk around with a tingly feeling in your butt as butterflies fly out of it.

Well, good fucking luck with that one.

We’re told if we just feel good all the time and see the things we want with joyous bliss in our bellies, that grandpa will show up at our doorstep with a brand new bicycle, we’ll end up living in the exact house whose picture we cut out from a magazine and stuck on our wall, unexpected checks will magically start to appear in the mail and we’ll always find a big fat parking spot right in the front row.

All very cool stuff, and I’ve actually had great results with attracting some amazing in my life through the power of visualization and ( cough, cough ) action.

On the flip side of the “think it, feel it, get it” coin, we’re told that if we feel “negative” emotions, all kinds of negative stuff will happen to us.

So it makes sense that we want to avoid feeling like shit right? Unless of course, our goal is to manifest a steaming pile of it.

Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m not knocking visualization, positive self-talk and feeling good about our life and things we want, in fact I’m for that kinda stuff.

What I AM saying, is that it ain’t as easy as just always trying to keep yourself in a “joyous and blissful” state of being all the time.

Humans have a full spectrum of emotions and some of them downright suck when you’re going through them

happy-sad-madfA quick trip to Wikipedia reveals some of the many theories about how many emotions we have.

Among others, there’s Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions, which says the basic eight emotions are fear, anger, sadness, joy, disgust, trust, anticipation and surprise.

And according to Book Two of Aristotle’s Rhetoric, we have anger, friendship, fear, shame, kindness, pity, indignation and envy

Looking at these lists it kinda looks like we’re screwed. I mean, easily half of those emotions don’t feel all that great to experience. Ouch.

But if we wanna feel the good ones, we GOTTA be willing to feel the not-so-good ones.

First, to know what feels good we have to have something to compare it to, like not feeling good.

And secondly and more importantly, it’s not like we can just close the valve on the bad feeling emotions and and leave the valve for good feeling emotion open. You close one, you close both. And when you do this, you end up with a pretty serious back-up of emotions… and sooner or later something’s gonna burst;

When you have an emotional surplus like this, pretty soon someone’s gonna feed the gremlins after midnight, and when that happens, the shit’s goin’ down.

Once you let these little hoodlums, like anger and sadness, lurk around in the back alleys of your psyche, by denying them when they come up, they’re gonna cause all sorts of shenanigans back there.

Resisting what comes up is definitely a dangerous game. When you push your emotions down into a dark and unseen place, they’ll enjoy a steady regimen of push-ups, squats and deadlifts… only to come back when you least expect it to ambush you with 50 pounds more muscle on their frame, and twice the speed and power. Sometimes the smallest of things can trigger one of these emotional ambushes

The best plan is to just experience things as they come up, without any resistance.

Face your emotions head on, allow them to be, experience them fully, investigate them and see if you can get to the roots. The light of awareness is what can transmute the lower-end feelings into higher end ones

wiping-the-slate-cleanDon’t try to change the world out there without first changing the world within.

The world is a mirror. Sometimes it’s awesome, sometimes it’s hilarious and sometimes it downright fucking sucks. And when it sucks, we usually had something to do with it. That’s where we need to start, that’s where we need to let our investigation begin. We need to be vulnerable and courageous enough to keep the light on and look ourselves straight in the eye.

If we avoid looking in the mirror, cuz’ we’re too scared to examine the parts of ourselves that our dark and ugly… we limit our ability to live a truly free and awesome life. We limit our ability to grow. We’ll keep running in to the same kinds of people and the same kinds of problems.

All we need to do, is take the spotlight of awareness off everything and everyone, and turn it back on ourselves. We need to look deep within and cauterize the wounds, and yeah, sometimes it hurts to bleed, but when we face ourselves and our short comings head on, we evolve to a new level of existence.

We can then ride our minibikes off into the sunset of our dreams, flipping the bird to the part ourselves that wants to hold us back.

Talk soon,

Big Chris

P.S. If you liked this post, I’d love if you would push some of those social media sharing buttons like the Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and Google Plus buttons at the top of this post and share it with your friends

And, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject

Seriously…

I’d love to hear your comments below

I do my best to respond to all comments.

Comments are moderated so give yours a little time to show up ok? – Thanks in advance  (=

The picture at the top of this post, The Path, is from Alice Popcorn on Flickr

Written by Chris McCombs

Just put your primary email in here and I’ll be sure to hook you up ( I hate spam too so I promise to keep it private and never share it with anyone) … I’ll see you on the other side

Comments

  1. WOW! i am blown away at how awesome this post is. All your posts are great and I love your writing but this one really hit home. I learn so much about my self when I read your posts. It’s like your talking to me. I’ve had struggles in life, like we all have, and the toughest ones to get over are the ones where I don’t want to take responsibility for my own actions. I am glad there are people like you that can teach us about life. You, my friend, are a true Teacher… They should call you Sensei Chris:) Don’t ever put that pencil down because you create magic each time it touches paper

  2. Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

    Why thanks Moni, super nice of you to say.

    And yep, we gotta be responsible for those actions and situations.

    It’s all a mirror.

  3. You know it is really cool. I’ve spent the last 6-8 weeks training at the new facility. I loved every moment of it.

    I stepped outside of the box tonight, because a client cancelled. I just decided to be spontaneous … I decided to train. I brought a client in and we just trained together as training partners, not as client an trainer. It was great. The one on one time let me teach him new skills that he wouldn’t have been taught in a small group session. Leaping for an underbar across a high gap isn’t for everybody. But it has been 6 months since we started training. He was ready!

    We didn’t even train at the facility. We went outdoors to a park about 2 miles down the road. In fact we got yelled at …

    Something told me to go there tonight. Just to train.

    The director of county parks watched us from afar off for then entire hour. He wrapped up his baseball practice and kindly informed us that the park was meant children.

    I immediately thought and we are the adults supervising if any should come to play. But I was respectful. He introduced himself and his role. Nice, turned the confrontation into an opportnity. I introduced myself and the role I play in the community. I explained all the measures and training we have taken to prepare for this.
    I talked about the 5k Mud Run we were preparing for.

    I met a very important person and made a huge first impression. It’s not that we were hoodlums messing around. We were training with a purpose.

    We were humble about the rebuke and very respectful. Humility goes a long way. We were leaving anyway. No point in arguing, he runs the place.

    When you turn every experience into a positive one, you can’t go wrong.

    Trust me, I spent the last three weeks feeling terrible. I’ve let clients go and clients have come and more have left. In spite of it all, Everything played out to make me want to just not go to the facility tonight.

    Just train and find my focus in a training session, just go back to the routes of Parkour. How do I get from point A to point B? Train with a purpose. I could have worked out tonight … but I chose to train. I did more productive business stff today by simply training with an open mind.

    What can you do?

  4. You know, and it is funny. I was out at my favority restaurant just doing some reading on Theology. A couple pointed me out and said “that guy is a good trainer.”

    Ealier today, I was working with my massage therapist. I have really tight shoulders from jiu jitsu. Anyway, working on that. I ran into somebody on the way out the door.

    She mentioned that we need more for our youth. They are going to be doing nothing but be up to no good this summer.

    It was a big eye opening experience. Things just fall into place. I’m already just thinking about the opportunities. Not even worried about the money. The money is a biproduct of helping people.

    I help people and by the way, I make money doing it. And I take far better joy out of life that way rather than making money and helping people to do it.

    On top of letting clients go and others leaving, you know it happens, I’ve decided to actually create a charity event. One that all the jiu jitsu guys can train for free on Monday each week for FREE. Even if they’re already paying already it is now free.

    Give and receive. Don’t give to receive. Be selfless and be yourself more.

    Awesome stuff because I feel more blessed and less stressed each an ch and every day!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      I love your attitude Daniel

      And yeah man, when you’re doing the right thing, shit just starts to line up

  5. Styles Bitchly says:

    PAIN & GAIN…You dig it the most baby!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      STYLES BITCHLY … DON’T WASTE MY MOTHER FUCKING TIME!

      Hope you’re great brother – its been too long, we need to hang out man

  6. As Schmidt from New Girl says, “BLAMMO, that just happened!” LOL! THIS BADASS POST just happened. Again, great stuff Big C, can’t say enough about the blog.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey thanks Rommel

      And I officially love that word you just used … “BLAMMO” … never heard it before but i will be using it for sure

  7. Man, you know the shit I’ve been having the last few weeks. I cant wait to get stuck into this when i get the chance…

    am guessing its fucking epic

  8. Always enjoy reading your posts and your kick ass perspective on things. Love the secret cameo you have hidden there as well. That movie changed my life and fucked with my head all at the same time haha. Lately I’ve learned to accept the negative emotions that come and go and it’s made life much easier. Thanks for this awesome post Chris.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      right on mike, I knew a dude who spent years trying to banish all negative emotions, he spent 4 hours a day meditating trying to raise his “vibrational frequency”

      He ended up suicidal and miserable

      Better to just experience that shit when it comes up than deny it and push it down into the dark corners, where it will just lurk around waiting to come back and get your ass

  9. Ed Haberek says:

    Chris:

    I gotta say that I really love your blog. Your openness, authenticity, and honesty is so refreshing. I totally feel a spritual comfort in your perspective and words. Great thoughts and life’s lessons you provide. I appreciate it so much

  10. thanks man. this was hard to read for me i felt resistance just trying to get through it hahaha :), i feel like ive been living the same god damn day for 2 years i dont know whats wrong or why im so ashamed of myself and just lost motivation to TRY to change i guess its from failing so much. i dont know where to begin but im promising to MYSELF that i will read this post and other for 30 days straight and will come back to post and see how my life has changed…

  11. Very enlightening as always My Brother…I have to say that you definitely hit that fucking nail on the head again …and if I didn’t know any better I think your talking to me … Keep up the Great Work ..I definitely love reading your posts …

  12. Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

    I AM talking to you Tarvin (=

  13. Chris,

    My second time here and I must say your writing is excellent. I loved the part about how it’s not enough to feel good, think happy thoughts ect. I have been meditating daily for over five years and focus diligently on that stuff. However it is actions that make the difference.

    I do believe it has helped bring some beautiful people and things in my life. However that has a lot to do with me changing my focus, seeing whats in front of me and acting on what I see. The universe will present us with more like minded opportunities but it will always be up to us to act. Thanks for the reminder.

    Keep on doing what your doing. I think it’s great.

  14. Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

    Absolutely Burton, so true

    And five years meditating, right on man, I’ve been doing a little while myself now and the difference has been HUGE

    still gotta take action though, just like you said

  15. Kevin Burnett says:

    Really glad I found your blog today. A ton of this post hit home for me – especially the part about burying your emotions and having them come back and wreck havoc on your life.

    For years I suffered from chronic lower back pain. Went through all the usual treatments with no success and no doctor could really find anything wrong. Then I discovered the work of Dr John Sarno and others who have expanded on his work.

    Basically it comes down to repressed emotions triggering a physical symptom – in this case chronic pain, but it could be headaches, ulcers, etc. I thought it was crazy at first, but the more I tuned in and accepted it them more my pain went away.

    Anyway, just wanted you to know that I see a lot of parallels to my experiences and what you said in this post.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey Kevin, yeah man, those repressed emotions can really come back and get ya

      Better to just face em’ head on ya know

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