Why You Want More Haters And How To Get Them

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8C0CCD03-A143-4EF6-92CB-19730D9EBC1BA few days ago I stumbled across a forum where about 15 people were bashing the living shit outta my writing style and my blog posts. There wasn’t a kind word among ‘em.

Being a blogger, I’ve dealt with my share of critics—it comes with the job description.

But this was the first time I was aware of being the target of so much slamming, by so many people, all at once.

I felt the sting for about a minute and fifty-seven seconds, quickly remembered that having these haters is actually a good thing, made a mental note to get a blog post out of it, and went about my day.

“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”

Aristotle

104A01D35-5440-4F4D-B667-A575D9A42FB5There will always be people who wanna step on you so they themselves can appear to be a little bit taller.

They’ll condemn you, your work and your success so they can feel the short-lived rush of the ego boost kicking in.

They try to tear you down seeking the addictive high of false superiority.

They flaunt their crown of imaginary authority on all things good and bad. All so they can feel a smidge better about their own meager existence.

They find offense in the fact that you aren’t marching in line like a good little soldier of conformity with the rest of the nearsighted disciples of the status quo.

They live a life a banality and mediocrity, and anyone who steps outta line gets shit for it.

When you walk a bold path, put yourself out there or just do things your own way, you’re gonna piss some people off.

They’re not actually pissed at you, they’re pissed at themselves for their inability to live a life that has meaning. It’s just easier to lob their anger your way, than it is for them to own it.

“Haters don’t really hate you, they hate themselves; because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be”

Yaira N

Even if you’re as awesome as Mother Teresa and doing nothing but giving from your heart and doing good-pure-altruistic-things, some people are gonna wanna give you shit for it. And the more impact you’re making on this world, the more shit they’re gonna give you.

They hope that that by putting you down, they can suck out a little bit of your awesomeness for themselves. They’re like Daniel Day-Lewis in the end of P.T. Anderson’s “There Will Be Blood”, where he goes “I drink your milkshake!”

Except critics and haters don’t actually get to drink our fucking milkshake—No matter how hard they suck. (Pun intended)

All they’re doing is sucking out their own ability to do great things.

And today, they can trash you all they want without having to say it to your face or risk running into you in person. They do it under anonymous usernames in forums thousands of miles away from the comfort of their couch—which most likely is where they spend a great deal of their time.

439D100D-7F0A-4F75-BE81-583E2216B2DELike Jamie Kennedy says in his documentary Heckler “The internet is the equivalent to putting something on a bathroom wall, anyone can put up anything”

But it’s not just on the internet.

It can come from coworkers, cynical family members, jealous friends or just about anyone who doesn’t take responsibility for their own success, happiness and life.

“Have you ever met a child who wanted to grow up to be a critic?”

Joel Shumacher

Let’s face it, it’s easier to criticize than it is to create.

It just easier to say “Hey, look at that guy over there with the small dick” than it is to deal one’s own inadequacies.

Your success reminds them of their non-success. Your happiness shines a light on their misery. Your greatness offends their normality.

They see you doing something they don’t think they can do or aren’t willing to put forth the effort to do, so they condemn you for doing it.

And the more you’re out there living on the edge, doing cool shit and making a difference; the more they’ll wanna pull you down to their level—the lowlands of regret, complacency and blame.

“Criticism of others is thus an oblique form of self-commendation. We think we make the picture hang straight on our wall by telling our neighbors that all his pictures are crooked.”

Fulton J. Sheen

Remember the big punk scene in the 80’s?

What started as a movement of non-conformity for those who didn’t fit in, ended up being a finger-pointing-orgy of know-it-alls with their own dogma to conform to.

Just to be clear I’m not talking about all punkers here, I’m just talking about a lot of ‘em.

black flag

Black Flag not looking punk enough

While they wanted to give off the impression that they were different from everyone else, in actuality a great deal of ‘em ended up becoming just a group of bitter elitists who all looked the same.

For example, just because the members of Black Flag—by far one of the greatest punk bands of all time—had long hair, countless punkers said Black Flag sucked and wasn’t punk enough. They didn’t look punk, they didn’t dress punk, and none of them had spiky mohawks caked in Dippity Doo. So people gave ‘em shit.

Didn’t matter what their music sounded like—since they wore their hair long and dressed pretty normal, they were criticized for it… a lot.

They did their own thing and took a ton of shit for it.

I don’t know where all those elitist punkers are today, but I do know that Black Flag left a mark that’s here to stay. To this day kids still wear Black Flag shirts, get the Flag tattoo with the four black bars drilled into their flesh-suit, and crank Black Flag tunes on full blast. Just like my generation did with the mighty Led Zeppelin that had rocked the world a generation earlier.

And guess where I got the idea for the “Rise Above” tattoo on my arm? … From an old Black Flag song.

Now I gotta admit that I’ve done my fair share of hating as well…

In my teens and early 20’s I ran with a group of guys who were heavily into black metal, thrash metal (which I still love) and death metal. In our opinion, if a piece of music wasn’t blaring, angry, hateful and evil, it sucked. And everyone who liked it sucked.

Didn’t matter that we were hooked on meth, had little options in the way of girls, were broke, ugly, and couldn’t get our shit together for the life of us. We couldn’t deal with looking at our own mess-of-a-life, so we looked at everyone else’s and spewed-out a non-stop barrage of constant criticism, insulting remarks and bitter put-downs.

Everything and everybody sucked. And we rode that wave of false superiority as far is it would take us. Which wasn’t very far.

We used to hassle my younger brother Jeff for being a nerd—Something I used to give him sooo much shit for.

But guess what?

Today Jeff is “Head of Business Operations” for Facebook, has a wonderful family and lives a balanced and happy life. And before Facebook he was “Executive Vice President of Business Administration” for Yahoo.

When Jeff was doing homework, I was dropping acid (and anything else I could get my hands on). When he was graduating high school “Most Likely to Succeed,” I was going to rehab. When he was going to college, I was going to jail. When he… well, you get the point.

The dude was paying his dues and I found it easier to give him a hard time for it than paying my own.

“100% of haters are unrealized potential”

Joe Rogan

103CEF8CB-51AE-4A0B-A51D-B0962A970B67Criticizing others is a trait I carried with me for years.

I used to put down just about anything and everything I could get my judgmental little hands on.  My radar for finding faults in others was set on ten.

It was just easier to look at someone else and tear them down, than it was to take a long hard look at myself, take responsibility for my life, and get busy making things better.

When I got sober at age 30 I stopped it for the most part. But after the better part of a decade clean I had a pretty bad relapse that lasted about a year.

During this year I was making horrible choices, my life was a mess and I was a train-wreck 24/7. The perfect environment to revert back to my old faithful crutch of putting people down instead of addressing the issues in my own life.

My constant criticism of the world around me and those who resided in it was just a straight-up manifestation of my own anger at myself for allowing my life to turn out the way it had and my unwillingness to do anything to fix it.

Fortunately, I ended up kicking my own ass so bad that I knew I couldn’t go on the way I was. I dropped the steady regimen of heavy narcotics, along with a whole bunch of other negative habits—including the majority of the criticism—and set out to make things better.

Does this post criticize those who make a habit of criticizing others?

Guilty as charged.

But if you’ll notice above I said I dropped the “majority” of the criticism—the word “all” is nowhere to be found in that sentence. That would take some kind of perfection I have yet to master. Hell I’m so far from perfect you could get to Mars on a moped before I arrive at perfection.

But who doesn’t have a few shit stains on their hands from behaving like judgmental little monkeys and throwing a few good turd balls once in a while?

We’ve all stoned plenty of people from behind the gates of our own glass houses.

Who hasn’t enjoyed being the distributor of some juicy bits of gossip now and again? I know I have.

However, if you’re reading this post, I trust you’re an evolving person and at a point in your life where you just don’t have time for making a habit of cutting people down—because most likely you’re out there doing good shit.

But some people haven’t grown through it yet—and maybe never will— and always seem to be on the hunt for someone to throw into the fire of judgement.

“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.”

Vernon Howard

People who lead reasonably happy lives rarely put others down.

Sure, they may offer constructive input when they feel it can help someone, but they don’t take judgmental shots at people, looking for some perverted form of self-aggrandizement.

When you’re living on purpose, you don’t give two shit’s and a nickel about what other people say or do. In fact, you wanna see em’ succeed. You tend to notice their good qualities and wanna tell them about it.

You get juiced by lifting others up, not putting ‘em down.

When you catch yourself criticizing others, look for what it is about them that’s causing you to want to criticize them. Own it. Like the saying goes, when you point the finger at someone, you’ve got three fingers pointing back at yourself.

So while it’s obviously not good to criticize, it is great to get criticized.

When people try to bring you down, sabotage your efforts and criticize your abilities, good. Keep moving forward.

If you doubt yourself, good. Keep moving forward.

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

Winston Churchill

C34CF4B7-EEF4-47E3-BAC6-FD05549D53C2Being criticized comes with the job description of “doing great shit” or even just “doing your own thing”

No one else needs to feel what you’re doing is important, as long as you feel it’s important.

When you’re doing something you love doing, what other people say won’t matter.

The more you trudge your own road of happy destiny, the more the critics, haters and naysayers will feel they’re entitled to give you some sort of unwanted input about the status of the road your on.

Whether it’s a friend telling you they don’t think you can accomplish the amazing and challenging thing you’re setting out to do…

… Or a coworker or boss telling you that you should keep your cozy little job because it’s a bad economy out there—so the last thing you wanna go do is go start that dream business you’ve been talking about.

Or a group of guys at the gym laughing at you cuz you’re too fat, too skinny or don’t bench enough.

Or just some troll on the internet trying to feel that their existence actually matters by trying to take a little from yours.

Sometimes their words may sting, but this is where you’ll need to look yourself in the eye and ask “what the fuck am I all about?”

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Dr. Seuss

Plain and simply most people aren’t willing to do what it takes to get what they want in life. So they point out the flaws they see in those who are doing what they want in life.

While they think it hurts you and makes them look good, it’s actually just a big-bright-flashing-sign that you’re that you’re on the right path.

“It’s easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It’s a lot more difficult to perform one.”

Chuck Palahniuk

If you’re facing criticism in your life, be grateful for it. It means your not just standing around waiting for marching orders with the rest of ‘em.

If you have self-doubt screaming in your right ear and critics screaming in your left ear, you’re probably on the right track.

If you don’t wanna be criticized, take refuge on the couch and watch TV. You probably won’t have to deal with any criticism at all besides that of your spouse for being a lazy asshole.

You won’t have to face any self-doubt either. It’s not like your mind is gonna tell you you’re not good enough at changing the fucking channels.

74051D83-B3A6-4D84-AF34-39E0D85CD5E1Don’t hate the people who criticize you. That resentment is the exact reaction they’re trying to get outta you.

It’s like if someone tried to hand you a cup of piss. You don’t have to drink it. Just ignore them. That way you can go on about your day and they’re stuck holding a cup of stinky yellow stuff that no one wants.

Forgive them, realize the power, and move on. Forgiving them isn’t for them anyway. It’s for you.

And since we’re all in this thing together, trying to figure out how to make this crazy thing called “life” work—connected in one big bowl of quantum soup—cut ‘em a little slack and lead by example.

The best response to criticism is to just keep doing your thing. And doing it fucking well.

“I learned a long time ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”

George Bernard Shaw

Your default reply to the haters should be your undying commitment to your path.

What others think and say is their business.

What you think and say is your business.

If you’re doing something you love and believe in, yours is the only opinion that matters.

I thank all my critics for reminding me that I’m doing good things, to keep moving forward, and for giving me something to write about today.

Rise above.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt

If you’d like to get more posts like this one delivered straight to your inbox, subscribe here and I’ll be sure to send you the new posts as I write ‘em

“The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people”

George Bernard Shaw

Talk soon,

Big Chris

P.S. I love they way one of my all time favorite comedians, the Late Great Bill Hicks, dealt with this Heckler

And if you enjoyed this post, I’d be stone cold honored if you would push some of those social media sharing buttons up top and share it with your friends…

… like the Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and Google Plus buttons

Written by Chris McCombs

Just put your primary email in here and I’ll be sure to hook you up ( I hate spam too so I promise to keep it private and never share it with anyone) … I’ll see you on the other side

Comments

  1. Right on the money Chris! Couldn’t have put it better myself :)

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      thanks tina

      sure you could, you probably just don’t have as bad of OCD as I do and like to stay up til three in the morning writing this shit (=

  2. Joshua Couse says:

    I fuckin love all your post man. Writing this down to remind me what is really important! Thanks man

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      thanks Joshua, I’m a big fan of writing stuff down myself. What’s that saying?

      The dullest pencil is better than the sharpest memory… so true

      And seeing as I smoked most of my memory up in the 80’s and 90’s… I write a TON of shit down (=

  3. Fucking AWESOME my bother. 100% bang on point. i got a lot of this shit, you know this. THANK YOU. love you man

  4. oh my, this was an awesome article. Thanks Chris!

  5. I loooove this post. Truer words have never been spoken. Another amazing post. You really do have a way of inspiring people, you should be proud of the work you are doing and SCREW THE HATERS, they are just trying to drink your awesome sauce

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      ha ha

      awesome sauce

      that term always makes me laugh

      Appreciate your heartfelt comment as always Moni

  6. Nailed it…again Chris.

    Love the energy, the truth… and the fact you got a Vernon Howard quote in here. Well, hell…what the chances!

    Evidently, pretty fucking 100%.

    Rock on!
    Shawn

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      ha ha

      thanks Shawn, you’ve been an inspiration of mine for along time brother

      great talking with you earlier

  7. Great piece as per usual. You’ve inspired me to start my own blog. Love what you have to say. Have a great weekend.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      AWESOME

      check out The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield

      And The Impact Equation by Smith and Brogan

      Oh … and check out Ramsay’s stuff as well http://www.blogtyrant.com/

      all stuff that will help with your blogging journey

      • I LOVE your writing style. I like that it sounds very natural and off the cuff, but that’s just because you make it look easy. I’m sure it’s not.

        It’s rad that your so open and help people with information to do their own blogging thing. That shows true confidence. Those trash talkers do not.

        • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

          hey thanks Heather

          it’s funny, sometimes the writing flows, and others not so much

          I find the best flow from about 10pm to 12 or 1am

          Not much of a flow in the morning though, ha ha

  8. Forget the black flag ink…. Should get “what the fuck am I all about?” Inked on my arms.

    Thanks for the post bud.

    Just also wanted to let u know this blog kicked my butt in gear. Signed up to the Scott Dinsmores course because of it – via ur link of course.

    Hustling one day at a time. Keep you posted.

  9. I’ve pretty much read every post on here now (I think) and find your words resonate and express what my mind thinks with examples from a lot of the same heroes* as me.

    Keep em coming sir

    Cheers
    * Not the metal ones…don’t get that genre at all :-)

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks Martin

      glad you’re enjoying the posts man

      And gotta spread them heroes around ya know

  10. TR nailed it in his critic speech:
    http://www.theodore-roosevelt.com/trsorbonnespeech.html
    Great post, great ideas
    Thanks
    –amb

  11. The late Dale Earnhart was once asked by a reporter if he was upset by all the people who booed him. He replied I only get concerned when they are quiet. I always remember this exchange when my haters get loud. Thanks for the post. I’m not sure how I found your blog but I’m damn sure glad I did!

  12. Spot on brother! Recent subscriber from a lot of the same fabric. Firing on all 8 cylinders this a.m. Thx

  13. hi Chris, today I found out someone really close to me doesn’t really like me much…I kind of floundered for about a minute…then this voice piped up and said “who gives a fuck someone doesn’t like you, move on” and I did, usually I cave in..but lately something has clicked and I am not taking OP’s stuff to heart. Thanykou for your link the other day to your 37 tips, it has really helped me to pick myself up, dust myself off and move on. Mel:-)

  14. I fuckin LOVE your blog.

  15. Ann-Marie says:

    You are such a badass! I read your blogs religiously and I love them! I read and reread them; I forward them on to friends who need to read them. I just wanted you to know. Thank you for all that you do.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Ann-Marie

      this just put the biggest smile on my face (=

      Thanks for your comment and thanks sooooo much for sharing

  16. Nicholas says:

    Your articles are really great,, thanks a lot! I liked the cup of piss metaphore, I’m definitely going to reuse it.

  17. AJ Brown Jr says:

    ‘Bro, just trying to add some “why” to my fandom. My daughter is overweight and is a great athlete in spite of it. She has worked through and continues to work through her isms, her insecurities, her difficult unto wrenching relationship with her mom, my ex. She recently developed alopecia but, as true to her growing strength, she shows less and less shame about what she “has” and far less shame about who she is.

    I shared the Katt Williams piece with her this morning before she went out to summer school. It brought a belly laugh to us both. It lightened her load. I think, pray God, that she’ll read this whole post when she gets back.

    You Da’ Mutha#()&ng MAN!!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      AJ that is so fucking cool man

      sounds like you’re doing a great job with her man

      I can tell you love her with every cell of your being brother

      she’s lucky to have you – and you’re lucky to have her

  18. “There are two ways of exerting one’s strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.”

    Booker T. Washington

  19. Thank you for writing this. It’s so true and hits so close to home right now. Thank you for reminding me there’s a much better way to deal with criticism. Smile and move forward.
    Keep on rocking man!

  20. “Hater gonna hate. Let them do their mutha fuckin job.”

    Keep the great posts coming and keep keepin it real.

    I’m off to find some more haters!

  21. Mardy Gould says:

    Great post Chris!!! You are a true inspiration for many people. #hatersaremymotivation

    Mardy

  22. Awesome stuff Big Chris! Always get a smile on my face when I read your words bro! I’m a big fan of the ZERO censorship thing too… I’ll launch my blog soon and I only hope to write with such no bullshit honesty as you man.

    many thanks,
    Steve.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey right on Steve

      I just shared this with someone else

      since you’re gonna start blogging

      check out

      The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield

      The Impact Equation by Smith and Brogan

      And check out Ramsay’s stuff as well http://www.blogtyrant.com/

      all stuff that will help with your blogging journey

  23. Saw a T-shirt just yesterday – “Haters Gonna Hate” along with a Scripture reference to Proverbs 9, verse 8. If you go back and read that excerpt, you can see that people been hatin’ for a really long time, and will continue to hate for a really long time past just today or tomorrow! :) If you’re doin’ good stuff, you just gotta keep doin’ it. Like you say, Chris, gotta Rise Above!! >Blessings!<

  24. I have been hooked on your blog since I discovered it. I’ve been trying to do the whole personal development thing for a few years, reading Tony Robbins, Bob Proctor, watching the secret, reading more self help gurus. One thing I found is that most of it bored the shit out of me. I must have 15 books on my shelf that I started reading, and just never made it to the end. Your blog kinda gives me the same type stuff as I get from those sources, only written in the type of language I can relate to. It feels more like I’m talking to my friends instead of being lectured by some pseudo-intellectual know-it-all. (not that I’m hating on them, I love the content, just have a hard time staying focused).

    That being said, I would be REALLY curious to see what you found on that forum trashing you. I love haters. It’s like going to the zoo. You read internet haters (youtube comments are great for this) and it makes you laugh. Kinda like studying what NOT to be like. But, I couldn’t hate on this blog even if I tried. Keep up the great work.

    • Jonathan Bennett says:

      Chris,
      Hey my name is Jonathan Bennett, I’m an actor living in Hollywood.
      My dad was diagnosed with brain cancer about two weeks ago and I didn’t know what to do. YOUR blog has changed my life. Being an actor in LA you sometimes get sucked into the wrath of Hollywood. But your blog makes it all so simple! I want to start a revolution. We need to start a revolution. Please read my tweet, it’ll explain everything.
      http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rlikv4
      You are making a difference. Don’t stop. What you do MATTERS.

      • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

        Hey thanks Man

        Dig your post/tweet

        and thanks for your email Jonathan

        I showed your IMBD pic to my fiance and she’s like “hey he was the guy in Mean Girls!”

        you come from a crazy world my brother, the fame/Hollywood thing

        LOVE how you addressed it in what you wrote

        The stuff about your dad got to me man — love that it’s making you stronger

        I responded to your email BTW

        thanks again so much for your positive words

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks Blake

      basically a few things I remember were

      I use too many commas

      too many errors

      I misquoted someone

      One guy’s like “I stopped reading when I got to the word ‘cuz”

      that my fictional stories were about the 15 people with shitty lives I wrote were lame and pretentious

      that I shouldn’t have put a pic of Bukowski in there because he was miserable

      that I shouldn’t have used the pic of the little African kids

      that I don’t know what the fuck Im talking about

      that i shouldn’t push my own stuff in social media

      those are what i remember

      it could have been much worse, all this just reminded me I’m on the right path and to keep doing my thing, no matter how many commas I use.

      after about 2 minutes I actually gotta nice rush from it.

      and I hear ya about self-help books being boring

      if you haven’t checked it out yet, listen to the joe rogan experience podcast

      similar to the stuff I blog about – with lots of humor

  25. Chris,I’ve only checked out your blog a little more than a month ago. This post by far really rocked me down to my core and I thank you for writing it.For the most part, I thought a hater was nothing but a negative motherfucker who had nothing better to do than run their mouths,I never thought of the hidden positive energy they possess for us. Keep up the good work.

  26. Mike Martin says:

    I’ve been reading your stuff for a while and really love it. I work in the corporate world and they’re always suggesting stuff and it’s ok, but NOTHING speaks to me like you do. I’m sharing this one with people there to show them THIS is what people like me really think.
    After reading this, I jumped in the shower and was ready to take them all on. Thanks for that man.
    Mike

  27. The Ultra says:

    Awesome! Keep writing!

  28. Love this. Totally agree w/the anti-hater & judgement message, and came to the punk rock lesson myself and it was reinforced after reading the Johnny Ramone bio–punk rock is being genuine, being who you are and not giving a fuck about what anybody else thinks. It’s not about anti-this or that, and it’s not about hating yourself. I found this post because a good friend shared it & I can’t wait to read more. Thanks!

  29. You need to put this all in a book. I’ve been printing certain ones out to keep handy and re-read when/where I want but a book would be even more awesome.

  30. Well said, except Mother Theresa was a fraud and a sadist and deserves to be reviled rather than respected.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey Drew, thanks for sharing man

      actually I didn’t know the stuff about Mother Teresa

      Just looked it up on Wikipedia

      I need to look into further

      funny, this was the first I heard about anything like that

      I’ve always heard nothing but good things

      Either way, I appreciate you input man

  31. I have to laugh when I see people taking time out to actively criticize others ! I cannot find time in the day to do all the awesome and productive things in one day / one life ….I honestly feel nothing but pity for the people that spend their time lookin for things to critisize when it’s so fucking rediculous to elect this option over simply : not reading it, not booking that hotel , closing the book or taking a different main course next time . the day I have time to bash other people for a living : kill me cause I already dead !

  32. and P.S. what the hell could anyone hate about your message ? they’re honest and they are rad. if you don’t understand then you don’t speak Badass :)

  33. John Garza says:

    Great post. Inspires me to be the best I can be. Keep up the awesome writing Chris!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. Once again, you nailed it. There are some great quotes in here I want to steal.

  35. GirlWithBearTattoo says:

    Haters have mirror vision, they see their desired reflection in the actions of achievers.

    As an addict in the first couple months of recovery, your articles inspire me to stay sober, to keep striving for a better life. I wonder if a lot of people with addictive tendencies have the potential for greatness?

    Anyways, have a powerful day, stay true, stay you. :)

  36. Bryan Faust says:

    Great read to start my weekend! Thank you, Chris!

  37. Chris:

    Your words or so refreshing and uplifting. As an elected official always under fire while you are trying to help people, I appreciate the supportive blogs you write. Thank you so much

  38. Eric Muirhead says:

    I always say, ” Talk shit about me all you want it just makes me more famous” :->

  39. Michael says:

    And just another example of why I always open your emails. Great post as usual. Growing up in the 80’s, I never fit into any clique and took crap for it every day of my life. I was miserable. Now I look at those people who made my life hell and I see misery and suffering while I run my own successful mind body fitness company. I think that their hatred actually made me stronger as I had to learn to disregard name calling and hurtful taunts. I had to find who I really was and build him up. Become an oak and not a weeping willow.
    Thank you for spending your precious time sharing your thoughts and stories with all of us. You will probably never know just how much your words are impacting people, but know that all of that effort will return to you ten fold.

  40. Chris, this was one of your best so far. Man, I gotta say, you’re pretty freakin’ good, quite honestly. Those guys must really have nothing important to do because there are sooo many other people that are worthy of being slammed if that’s what we’re going to do with our time. I’ve followed you for a few years now and I can be pretty critical myself. Your material is good and your writing style is perfectly fine; it takes unique talents to make the world go around. If I had even half the followers you do, I’d be pretty darn happy with that… Keep up the great work. Superb quotes, btw! Givin’ you a shout out on FB today.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks a ton Jerry, super cool of you to say

      and thanks for the shout out man

      keep doing your thing brother

  41. Thanks for this Chris,
    I’ve found myself a hater who is insulting people who leave reviews for my books. It got me down, really down, but now I realize that it takes a certain amount of “celebrity” to attract a hater, so I’m embracing that person and letting them seethe in their own misery. Plus, their hate has driven plenty of people to my website. Nothing like free marketing, eh?

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey tammie, thanks for sharing

      looks like youve got some cool books out there, checked out your site

      yeah don’t give those haters any of your attention, just keep on creating (=

  42. Another excellent post, Chris? Did you find this somewhat of a therapeutic release after reading what those haters were writing about you on the net?

    I was once a hater. It came with my youthful inexperience. I would tear down others to help (so it seemed) to build me up. Even when doing that, it doesn’t work. I did it when I competed in bodybuidling, I did it in my professional career when I started out as a staff trainer for a box gym, and I even would do it when I was casual dating women…to make sure no other man was remotely as attractive, of course :)

    What a waste of time! It doesn’t work. I needed to become comfortable with myself and realize that “hey…I’m great at what I do….AND…it’s ok if there are others that are as good if not better.” I used to chalk it up to an “age” thing and figured I just grew out of it as I matured. But I still see guys (and girls) my age and older that are still living life as a “hater.”

    It’s a nice world when you are living on the “lover” side.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      you got it James, so true

      yeah man, very therapeutic

      All my blog posts are actually

      Writing is one was I process things, release the unwanted, embrace the important and so on

      thx james, always appreciate your comments man

  43. Neil Pickering says:

    Blueprint to success initiated and cheers dude.

  44. great post! i find it hard to believe there is an entire site of people bashing you and your writing. imagine how much time and energy they dedicated to something and someone they can’t stand! *shakes head* i will never understand why people do that. if you don’t like it, don’t look at it.

    love that you referenced black flag and rollins. i love people that don’t give a shit and just do what makes them happy. henry is a genius and 90% of my favorite and profound quotes have come from him. looking forward to your next post!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey thanks Sara

      yeah, Rollins is the man.

      Love his spoken word stuff

      he’s been a huge influence on me and my writing

      his stuff actually helped me through some super dark times in my 20’s

  45. More truth Chris, i think your writing is getting better and better all the time. Love the bill hicks clip!!! Thats how to deal with haters!!! You still working on a book?
    J

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      thanks Jamie, yeah I love that hicks clip, so funny… Bill was GREAT, such a brilliant comedian that we lost as such a young age

      and yep, working away on the book

  46. Great post and insights.

    I remember about 5 years ago when I launched my first website (an options-oriented value investing site) that someone on the Yahoo message boards posted a link to it and called it something like the worst new options site of the month.

    5 years later, the site is not only still around, but it’s now my primary source of income.

    I used to be on the other side of the equation – the cynical, bitter, and critical side. I looked at success with suspicion and even contempt.

    But when I actually took some risks and tried building something myself, it was amazing how quickly all that began to drop away.

    Since then, I’ve found it so much more energizing to highlight and spend time experiencing the things that I think are truly awesome than to deplete my energizing bitching about the things I don’t connect with.

    The negative instinct is still there, of course, but when I come across something that I think is truly ridiculous that others seem to enjoy, instead of drafting a 5000 word diatribe in my head about why that thing represents the demise of western civilization, I try to “walk away” and instead think about Shakespeare or Jimi Hendrix or Babe Ruth.

    Loved the Fulton Sheen quote, btw – it definitely hit home.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks for sharing brad

      you’re a true success story

      that’s so awesome about your site now being a big source of income for you

      gotta love it

      And Shakespeare, Jimi Hendrix, Babe Ruth.

      Can’t go wrong there

  47. hey Big Chris… i gotta say i respectfully disagree, … but only about 25-30 %, and mostly just in my case. Let me explain. im by far one of the most stubborn, hard headed dudes i know, but i also bust my ass working towards my goals more than most people i know. So over the years I’ve had a tendency to lump all criticism that came my way as bullshit coming from people who either dont give a shit about me or dont know shit about me, and, i was right.. sometimes. But in hindsight i wish i would have listened less to some voices and alot more to others. SOMETIMES some people really mean well and we need to take the feedback and not always lump them in with the knuckleheads we need to ignore. So having said all that, I think we all needed this post as a reminder to stay strong and im certainly a life long reader of your stuff, and personally i think your writing style is AWESOME!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks Jeff

      yeah I know what you’re talking about man

      usually that kind of input comes from a place of love instead of bitterness

      there’s a lot of that kind of feedback I would have been better off listening to myself for sure

      thanks for chiming in Jeff

  48. Chris, I think you’re the shit and when I have a sucky day, I read your posts and turn that fucker around. Thanks for being awesome. That is all.

  49. Thanks for this a bunch. I’ve been writing stuff down for over 30 years, and it helps a lot. What you wrote here really sinks in for me since I’ve battled all my like with being a critical nasty-ass. Thanks for putting so well.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey thanks John

      and yeah man, for me writing it key

      I feel so “off” when I don’t do it

      what a blessing it has been to have this channel in my life

      Write, Train, Meditate, Surrender

      those things are HUGE for me

  50. Johnny Rogers says:

    Finally I found a blog that is down to earth and directly relates to who I am. Spent almost my whole life absorbing hatred , hating and every sense of the word for being “different” for following my heart. I still had my head in the sand most of the time because that little ego always wants to tell you “you cant” “you wont” “your a loser” blah blah blah is all it is. I feel that taming the ego, helps me immensely. Everyday I take 2 walks, both walks are about 20 minutes long in the beautiful forests of Germany. Right now I’m laid off with severance pay and leave pay coming my way due to closure of Heidelberg Army Base. Before I made it to Germany 5 and a half years ago I was homeless 30 pounds underweight living in my car. On top of that lost my house to the government which the bank owns now. Lost my family and lost real clout and respect. It makes you wonder if it’s just karmic or just shit happens but everything happens for a reason.I have always had an angel over my shoulder directing me. Cant say I had much guidance and I have loads of baggage but who doesn’t have baggage. At age 30 I started to shape up, and although I have no career path (just working in kitchens and training Brazilian Jiu-jitsu for 17 years now) I always seem to have common sense and logic to guide me. Jiu-jitsu helps me a great deal, martial arts is an effective way to combat issues. Haters hated but I never let them break me. Sure it bothered me but I just kept truckin. Now I have a wonderful German wife with a wonderful family and they helped me get back on my feet and love me as they’re own! I did use a little secret to help me but practically like your other blog speaks of in that respect. I found my fathers biography online about his life in Hollywood and I must have broke down for days (he deceased 10 years ago) He now has a big effect on me than he ever did ! Now I understand who he was and it’s a reflection of I!!! I’m 39 years old and will be receiving my black-belt in jiujitsu and attending acting/theater/film school to involve myself in show business. Not to be a celebrity but have another form of self expression as therapy and of course to entertain and have a good influence on society if I do make it. But most of all its really always what I wanted to do. Guess what THERE ARE SOME HATERS! Now I smile and say “all your doing is fuelling my desire to achieve what I want :) “I do have supporters, my wife and best friend and thats truly all that matters. I know this was lengthy but I needed to let that out and sometimes on a stranger it just feels better. THANK YOU BRO!!!!! Hope to meet you one day man. Johnny Rogers

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey shit Johnny this is awesome man

      thanks so much for sharing

      and congrats on transforming your life

      that’s the real deal right there

      keep killing out in Germany man

      I appreciate you

  51. Good stuff Chris. Keep the awesome articles coming.

  52. Always remember Chris, “the dogs keep barking but the caravan keeps moving along”.

    Excellent article brother!

  53. MOMO PANTS says:

    Dude, your awesome never stops

  54. Chris i for one am glad u stay up till 3am writing this shit ; ) keep it up please.

  55. Damn! I discovered your site yesterday and I love it! I can’t quit reading it!
    Everything you write resonates with my life!

    I grew up with a hating dad. He hated on everything that I liked. If I had an interest outside of his he constantly criticized it. If I had a dream or an ambition, he would immediately begin tearing it down. He criticized me from the way I looked, to the way I laughed and everything in between.

    Then, I married a woman who became the same way! She criticized how much money I made (even though I have a very good job and worked my ass off), our home, our luck, and I even over heard her making fun of me to her friends.
    During the whole marriage I was nothing but grateful for everything I had.

    All of this has left me feeling a bit defeated. I am trying to get the strength to make the right changes for me. Needless to say, the course of my life has depressed me a bit. But, I’m digging deep for the real me. I am trying to rediscover the dreams I had as a youth that my family so delightfully crushed. I’m hoping it’s never too late.
    Thank you so much for the encouragement!

  56. Awesome blog design! What’s it called?

  57. Walter Healey says:

    It is easier to edit than it is to write…….

  58. THANK YOU! :)

  59. I was using StumbleUpon and upon stumbling random websites I may be interested in, it lead me to your blog. I read two of your blogs and they’re absolutely beautiful and highly motivating. I’m honestly going to start coming back to your website more often, because I don’t have self-motivation and the two posts I read on your site has helped me realize a lot in life to have self-motivation. Thank you, sir. You write some beautiful stuff and it’s on point. Keep up the good work. :) Also, I am subscribing to your newsletter VIA email. I liked what I seen, hands down, bro.

  60. Hey Chris, i like to read your old postings as a reminder to myself. Today I came across this one you talk about haters. I would just add that the haters are the fuel to our greatness. The more the hate us, the stronger we get. Just keep moving forward, right?

  61. I just discovered your blog and this post is exactly what I needed to hear! Actually I been working on not caring what people think.. I’m better than what I use to be but I still got some ways to go. Usually when someone wanna criticize me and say I need to change I simple say “get over it”. That way I did 2 things.. I shut them down and I didn’t waste my time arguing with them!

  62. Amy Dygdon says:

    I just found your blog on Stumbleupon and I have to say kudos to you. Everything I read gives me strength and inspiration. It’s like you know me and my path and are speaking to me directly. Thank you for your passion it’s helping me find mine. Please keep up the amazing work.

  63. I love reading your posts.
    They are very inspiring.
    Right now, I’m finding more courage to start something and this is one thing I need- motivation.
    I don’t want to be stopped by my fear of what others might think of me.
    I’ll take risk .

  64. so I go to a school where the majority of students are quite the bit of judgers, so I began to dress like a complete train wreck. ripped clothes, leather jackets, straightened yet messy hair, and I flirted with all the homophobic staff members. I kinda became this walking symbol of teenage rebellion. im ALWAYS getting crap for it but Ive helped the few outcasts in my school to come out a bit. no more dark hallway lurking for them I suppose.

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