9 Ways To Get Out Of A Slump And Make The Comeback Of Your LIFE

69296243-111C-4D7F-BF5C-2364F3628E1BHow To Get Back Up On Your Feet and Kick Some SERIOUS Ass…

We all fall down every now and then… it’s what we do when we hit the ground that matters….

Do we stay down? … Or do we get back up and transmute our failures into something great?

At one point I had nearly a decade clean and sober.

Yet there I was, draining what was left of my apocalyptic wasteland of a bank account so I could check myself into a detox facility in San Clemente, California, where I’d be laid up next to street junkies puking their brains out, complaining that their suboxone dose is too small to ward off the evil spirits of the kick, and hating the sheer fact that they were still alive.

And guess what? I was the only one in this place trying to keep a positive attitude. I mean, it was time to get back on my feet again. I was soooo done living the life of hopeless opiate addict—surviving from fix to fix and constantly running from the agonizing pain of withdrawal, that dark cloud that looms over anyone hooked on the milk of the poppy.

But wait a minute, I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Sometimes in life we lose our way.

Maybe it’s just a small dip, where we aren’t living to our full potential, and are just kinda stuck in the rut of stagnation and don’t seem to be able to make any real progress no matter what we do.

And sometimes, life can kick our ass so bad, we’re not sure if we’ll ever make it back, much less forward.

Divorce, health issues, addiction, the loss of a loved one, a failed business, financial difficulties, loneliness, depression, stress, feeling locked into something so big we just don’t know how to get out of it, or any one of the other conflicts, crises or chokeholds life can put us in… whether by our own making, or life itself just seeming to have it in for us.

And if were lucky, it’s just one thing, but more often than not it can seem that we’re the brunt of some cruel joke, and we’re hit by the freight train of 3, 4, 5 or more of these problems at once.

Problems it seems, like to run in packs.

6333C082-3158-492B-9E49-04AE820C3399I’ve been beaten into submission more times than I can count… and I can count pretty high.

But like a lot of people, I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything, no matter how dark, dreadful or desperate those times were. Easier to say that now though, not so easy when the river of shit runs waist deep… or when you’re drowning in it.

We all understand at least at some level that our problems are blessings in disguise. Grandma told us that one.

But when your ankle’s stuck in the bear trap, it just plain sucks, and it seems all we can do is thrash around and bleed… hoping you don’t lose your foot… or leg… or worse.

In this blog post, I’d like to share with you a list of things that can definitely help you get back up on your feet when you’re face down on the asphalt.

However, I wanna make it clear that I’m by no means trying to give you the impression that I think I’m some kinda expert on how to come back from all of life’s problems. I’m not. All I can do is speak from my personal experience, as well as what I’ve seen work for others.

Everyone has their own unique set of problems, some gnarlier than others, but fortunately there aren’t a lot of things out there that humans aren’t able overcome.

So, if you’re in a slump, a bad place, going through some shit that’s bringing you down, in the middle of a storm that’s getting the best of you, or just not happy with how your life’s currently going, I think you’ll find this list helpful. Treat it like a buffet.

Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time.

Viktor E. Frankl

8F95D0BE-2961-4BF7-8C64-0412CF8784021. Look your situation in the eye and make peace with it

Once you’re aware that you don’t like where you are, and you wanna change, the first step is to simply accept you current circumstances and understand that change always starts with you, not what’s going on out there.

If you don’t get the inside right, you probably won’t be able to get the outside right, and even if you do the outside right, if you’re all messed up on the inside, it won’t matter, cuz you simply won’t be able to enjoy it.

Just look at all the celebrities who have all the money, sex, fame and power they could ever want, yet are so whacked-outta-their-minds-miserable they commit suicide or overdose on drugs.

I’m a perfect example, of someone who got everything he wanted on the outside, but was completely unhappy on the inside.

And because of that, I self-destructed the outside. Because the outside, is just a projection of what’s going on inside.

I’m one of those guys who set goals, visualized just like those dudes in “The Secret” talked about, and I worked my ass off. I actually got everything I wanted, everything I visualized, I got it. I was a good little manifester.

But when I got it all, to my disappointment, it didn’t fill that void within me, and I became more miserable than I’ve ever been in my entire life.

Now, I’m definitely all for going after things you want and getting them, and of course having the best of both worlds is ideal, but if it came down to one or the other, I’ll take the inside… always… cuz no matter how good or bad things are going on the outside world, you can always find peace and happiness within…. in fact, it’s the only place you can find it.

But you can’t have peace and happiness if you’re unable to accept your current circumstances for what they are.

Whatever is, IS… Look it in the eye and make peace with it.

If you mentally resist it, it’ll sink it’s teeth, sometimes with jaws so powerful every cell of your being will scream in agony. Until that is, you accept it. Then the situation no longer has power over you.

F5D47292-3E8B-4128-9874-508A2B5B0F2EAccept it, take any necessary actions, and move on.

Sure, you may need to get a few stitches and maybe even some rabies shots, but it’s better than letting that beast gnaw on your appendages until you bleed out entirely.

There’s an ebb and flow to life, it’s not an “up up up” thing. It may be for awhile, we all have a good run every now and then, but sooner or later, we meet our match and take a beating in the alley out behind Club Good Times.

Like Dire Straits sang, sometimes you’re the windshield and sometimes you’re the bug.

When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.

Viktor E. Frankl

4A82433B-955D-40F9-A7DF-B3754EFDB036Everyone has problems

Everyone’s life is filled with chaos, conflict and confusion. It’s just how it is. And if you can show me someone who’s never had any serious problems in their life,  I’ll show you the most boring person in the world… someone who’s never dared to go after anything worthy… someone who’s never truly lived.

We all have problems, all of us.

“If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.”

Regina Brett

And because we’re the protagonist of our little drama here, our problems may seem like their some kinda big deal.

… But if we die tomorrow, our problems wouldn’t matter one bit… and I bet if you compared your problems with the problems the majority of the people in the world are having, you’d realize that most of your problems are a luxury.

Your problems do not define you, it’s how you deal with your problems that makes you who you are.

How much can you know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight?

Tyler Durdin

Remember that what you’re going through is just your current situation and it will pass, but it’s not your life, it’s just your situation

What you’re going through right now has nothing to do with who you really are, it’s just your current situation… that’s all… a fucking situation.

You, on the other hand, are the immeasurable thing that’s been looking out those eyes of yours since you were the size of a football… and have been conscious since even before then… you’re the awareness through which all the situations happen. But you’re not the situations themselves, you’re what’s aware of the situations.

All situations are opportunities to grow.

And for you to grow, without getting your ass kicked over and over by the same ol’ problems, accept your situation, whether you like the situation or not. Then do what needs to be done.

5A2CA4D0-BE7F-4FCA-A68E-5FC046BFDFEE2. Start and stack

All you have is today and what you do right now, and if your gonna eat that elephant everyone’s always talking about, focus on the bite your taking right now… don’t worry about the ass while you’re chowing down on a trunk kabob.

Start with one simple action. One step. One thing that’ll get you moving in the direction of where you wanna go.

And then once you create a habit of it and gain some positive momentum, start slowly stacking one positive habit on top of another.

It’s hard to take on 10 new habits at once, but one new habit every month or so over the course of a year, is not only doable, but it will also lead some profound changes in your life.

Someone who wants to get in shape shouldn’t jump into the routine of a competitive bodybuilder. They’d break their ass in half.

They should start small, instilling new positive habits and stacking one on top of another, increasing workload and decreasing junk food and extra calories.

But they wouldn’t succeed if they started off with twice a day training sessions, followed by an hour of cardio, while living on broccoli, chicken, water and fish caps. A few genetically gifted OCD types might, but most would be doomed.

In my teens and 20’s I did a lot of, uh… drugs…

… Heavy ones, and big doses… I have one of those addictive personality thingys.

At 30, after the drug abuse had taken it’s toll, with my life in shambles, my mind screaming at me and living so disconnected with my soul I began to wonder if I even had one, I got clean.

And I stayed that way for the better part of a decade, building up a nice little life for myself: loved ones, good health and fitness, built two successful businesses helping people… a personal training business and an information marketing business… I became a generally positive person and had what, at the time, I considered an ideal life.

But at somewhere about 5 or 6 years clean, I traded my drug addiction for a making money addiction. A common trap for a lot of men.

And then, the unthinkable happened. I relapsed. And I’m not just talking about some pedestrian type relapse, I relapsed into the worst addiction of my life.

slumpE43D0E27-0101-4E6D-B30B-CB43DB6394BD To make a long story short, I ended up losing pretty much everything… and I’m lucky I made it out with my life. It was the darkest, scariest and ugliest thing I’ve ever experienced.

After a year or so of living in utter despair , I knew I had to get clean and put my life back together.

I had to start over.

Here’s an example of how I started and stacked.

Now, before I tell you what I did, I wanna make it clear that I am categorically not religious, it just ain’t my thing.

Religion may be good for some guy standing over there, but it’s just not for me. Too elitist, too many rules, and not enough room for free thinking. But hey, that’s just me.

Saying that may seem a little paradoxical after you read this entire post, and I do have some very close friends who love it and it’s served them well. I respect and support their decision to go that route and can see how it’s helped them in a lot of ways.

For some people, it’s a great path… I’m not saying the model doesn’t work, it just doesn’t work for me.

Just like some people people prefer yoga, while other prefer jogging, or bodybuilding, or powerlifting, or CrossFit or Zumba. And some people like all that shit.

I even heard Louie Simmons is gonna start offering Zumba at Westside Barbell, to help his guys open up their hip complex so they can hit bigger lifts. Nothing like watching 320lb powerlifters with big bellies, shaved heads, goatees and sleeve tattoos rocking a Zumba class.

Maybe Slayer should release an album of nothing but Zumba songs.

With that said about religion, it not being my thing and all, the first step I took to get back on my feet was to pray with everything in me, basically asking whatever created me and is running the show here, something I have no conceptual understanding of, to PLEASE help me get clean.

Next, I checked myself into a detox.

The dude in the bed next to me smuggled heroin in and was still shooting it for the first day or two, puking everywhere not but five feet from me,  nodding in and out and talking some form of street gibberish that he felt was so profound he wanted everyone to hear it at three in the morning, all between his hourly regurgitation sessions. This just added to the fun.

Once I went through with the withdrawals, got the drugs outta my system and attained physical sobriety, I got involved into 12 step program.

Then, over the course of the next year or so, I stacked the following in no particular order…

– Stepped up my my exercise program
– Started meditating
– Started eating 90% good clean food ( portions have always been a big problem for me, even to this day )
– I added in fresh raw veggie juiceB0528DA1-EC03-4ECA-AFC2-3E457939DDD9
– Started reading lots of good positive stuff again
– Committed to writing daily about the kinda stuff my soul burns to write about, instead of just marketing stuff
– Began doing visualization techniques again
– Began daily gratitude exercises
– Began practicing forgiveness exercises
– Stopped 99% of all my complaining … including the little complaints that most of us do but don’t even notice

Now, it’s important to note that I DIDN’T tackle all this stuff at once.

One at a time, I stacked positive habit on top of positive habit. That’s how big change happens.

Am I now some enlightened being with butterflies flying outta my ass?


But the changes, the new habits, some small, some big, over time, have had a profound positive effect.

It’s easier to improve things 1% at a time than 100% all at once. And before long, those 1%’s, compounded with interest, add up to FAR more than 100%.

But it all starts with one step.

3. Become determined to turn your pain, loss and suffering into something great

Every negative event contains within it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

~ Napoleon Hill

No matter how shitty life may get sometimes, you can find a positive in just about everything, if you look for it. And if you can’t see it with your eyes, then make it with your heart, your hands and your words.

It’s easy to get caught up in the “why?’

Why did I screw things up?

Why did I have to lose everything?

Why does so much bad shit happen to me all the time?

Why did he/she leave me?

Why?” isn’t the right question.

1891B176-6AF3-48C9-8AB9-226DA41B5A42The right question is “How?”.

How can I change this?

How can I turn this into a positive?

How can I use this for good?

How can I make sure this never happens again?

One of my best friends, Big Larry Clay, is always saying “All works for good”

It’s like the dude’s answer to everything. Your house just burned down? All works for good

Someone conned you outta all your money? All works for good.

You just lost an eyeball? All works for good.

Larry is 6’8″ 330 pounds, and holds black belts in 8 kinds of martial arts…

… He’s a high level Krav Maga expert and instructor, and does a lot of ministry work.

In the late 1990’s, Larry and I used to toss drunks out of a bar that we worked at as bouncers together in Lubbock Texas, and we’re still good friends today.

Larry had a youth that would have caused most people to either off themselves, become a lifelong victim, or a lifelong perpetrator of the same kinda bad shit he went through.

As a young boy, Larry experienced extreme sexual abuse, torture, starvation and homelessness. He also witnessed the suicide of a family member. And you know what? Larry wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything in the world. It made him who he is today.

By all rights Larry should be a serial killer.

But trolling the country looking for prostitutes to toss in his trunk isn’t the path Larry chose.

Instead, Larry took all that bad stuff that happened to him and turned it something good.

Not only does he help people get into shape with his gym, teach people how to defend themselves with what is probably the most efficient and gnarly kind of self-defense known to man, Krav Maga, but he also helps people with his All Works for Good Ministry

The 6'8" 330lb teddy bear known as Larry Clay

The 6’8″ 330lb teddy bear known as Larry Clay

Larry was one of the guys who really proved himself as a friend and was there for me during my darkest hours.

That dude has seen me in tears more times then I’d like to admit. That must look funny by the way, a 6’6″ 300 plus pound guy balls his eyes out to a 6’8″ 300 plus pound guy. Hilarious.

Like Larry, I wouldn’t trade all the pain and loss I experienced for anything.

I wouldn’t trade it because of all I learned, how much it made me grow and how it molded me into the person I am today… allowing me to share my experience, as well as what works for me, with others.

I would not have my beautiful daughter Zoe, had not every second, and every inch, happened exactly as it did…

… Sure, I might have some other beautiful little girl, but it wouldn’t be Zoe.

I would not be writing the kind of stuff I am right now, had things not gone down the way they did. I wouldn’t be spreading the kind of ideas I’m spreading… This blog wouldn’t even exist.

I had to go through the most miserable, painful and depressing place of my life, to discover the most peaceful, balanced and happiest place of my life… full of problems on the choppy waters up above, sure, but pretty damn chill and content in the deep still waters down below.

I wouldn’t have the values I do today… values beyond just getting ripped, making money and getting laid.

I would not be the kinder, gentler man I am today, had I not learned, the way I had to learn, what simply does work for me.

In my experience, the most interesting people, the ones who do the most incredible things, help the most people, have the most impact, and are the happiest… are the way they are because of the hell they once endured.

It can kill us, or it can be our greatest gift. The choice is ours

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”

― Jack Kerouac

F91E5203-EA72-4378-A898-565A827400E74. Lift up others and help them get what they want in life

When you’re helping others, it takes you outta your own selfish thoughts of “me, mine, why don’t I have enough and how can I get some more?” and puts you into a higher state of being

In fact, the most powerful thing to come from the river of shit you crawled though, is you’re ability to help others through sharing your experience.

Like Big Larry does with his coaching and ministry work.

Like I do on this blog where I’m able to share my experience and hopefully help a few people along the way.

Like the nurse-dude who ran my recent sleep study… this guy suffered sleep apnea for over two decades, not knowing why he felt so horrible all the time. Once he was diagnosed with sleep apnea and got it fixed, he felt completely amazing and was so grateful for this, that he got involved with helping others fix their sleep apnea, by becoming a nurse and specializing in assisting in sleep studies.

Like Brendan Burchard,who turned a near fatal car accident into a coaching business where he helps people from all walks of life perform at their absolute best.


Dewey Bozella

Like Dewey Bozella, who after being falsely imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit, fought hard for his freedom and got a second chance.

After serving 26 years behind bars, his conviction was overturned and he’s since not only been a source of inspiration for youth in the inner city, but at age 52, he made his debut as a professional boxer.

Like the sober alcoholic reaching his hand out to the man dying in the gutter from alcoholism.

The once homeless man now helping others to get back on their feet.

The countless authors who’ve turned their own personal tragedies and triumphs into books that helps others pull themselves outta the mud.

The once overweight person who is now a fitness trainer.

The once sick person who is now a healer.

The once failing business man who does pro-bono work mentoring young entrepreneurs.

The stand-up comedian who turns the chaos of his life into stories we can all smile and laugh at… while he laughs along with us.

The blues guitar player who turns the death of his young son into a song the entire world is touched by.

Your ability to help others, through your experience and courage… your ability to connect and inspire, in your own unique way, is your greatest gift to the world.

Don’t be selfish with the lessons you learn.

Somehow, someway… you can benefit others in ways far beyond what you can even imagine right now.

Your comeback is an inspiration to those who need it.

Share your gift with the world. Now that’s a hallmark moment

You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want.

Zig Ziglar

Screen Shot 2013-06-22 at 11.22.46 PM5, Use the power of words for good

To illustrate just how powerful words can be, copywriting legend Gary Halbert used to have people in his workshops write two letters to their mother, and then put both in envelops addressed to her, but using their own same address, and mail them off ( to themselves ).

He would read the following words aloud while the students wrote them down in the the letters.

The first letter reads…

Dear Mom, I’m very busy right now and I don’t have time to call so that’s why I’m writing you this letter. You know mom not only are you responsible for my very existence, you are also the nourishment that has made my life sparkle.

I’m under a lot of stress right now and for some reason, I started thinking about you. It has occurred to me that maybe I haven’t let you know recently how much I appreciate you and how much I love you.

I especially like remembering you and then I have them fill in something special like, on my 18th birthday when you gave me that gold Rolex watch, or whatever it was. Anyway, I’m going to make it a point to see you just as soon as I can and then you sign love, and your name.

The second one reads…

Dear Mom, If I weren’t such a long way from home, I probably wouldn’t have the guts to tell you this but the following has been true ever since I was born. You have made my life a living hell.

Every person I know has a mother that is superior to you in every positive way imaginable. You are nothing more than a wrinkled up old bitch and as far as I’m concerned, the biggest waste of skin God ever created.

Speaking of God, as the good Lord knows, you’re certainly not too mentally swift either. So just in case your low IQ keeps you from understanding what I’m trying to say, let me make it perfectly clear.

Eat Shit and Die. Please don’t call or write me. I have no inclination whatsoever to communicate with you ever again.

Reluctantly, your son or daughter

P.S. dad sucks too.

A299E9E4-8E74-447B-AEF8-3AABA712CF99These letters are both just paper and ink, nothing else, but do you think they would have a different affect if your mother were to read one vs. the other?

Um… yeah.

Dear Mom, I’m very busy right now and I don’t have time to call so that’s why I’m writing you this letter. You know mom not only are you responsible for my very existence, you are also the nourishment that has made my life sparkle.

I’m under a lot of stress right now and for some reason, I started thinking about you. It has occurred to me that maybe I haven’t let you know recently how much I appreciate you and how much I love you.

I especially like remembering you and then I have them fill in something special like, on my 18th birthday when you gave me that gold Rolex watch, or whatever it was. Anyway, I’m going to make it a point to see you just as soon as I can and then you sign love, and your name.

I have them fold that up, put it in the envelope, put a stamp on the envelope and seal it.

Then, we do it all over again with the second envelope and they write their name at the top of the envelope in the corner card and below that they write the date and they write the time which will be just a few minutes later. They address the envelope once again to their mom to their home and then they write another letter to their mom. This time it says:

Dear Mom, If I weren’t such a long way from home, I probably wouldn’t have the guts to tell you this but the following has been true ever since I was born. You have made my life a living hell.

Every person I know has a mother that is superior to you in every positive way imaginable. You are nothing more than a wrinkled up old bitch and as far as I’m concerned, the biggest waste of skin God ever created.

Speaking of God, as the good Lord knows, you’re certainly not too mentally swift either. So just in case your low IQ keeps you from understanding what I’m trying to say, let me make it perfectly clear.

And then we have a subhead. Eat Shit and Die. Please don’t call or write me. I have no inclination whatsoever to communicate with you ever again. Reluctantly your son or daughter, you sign your name and then it says P.S. dad sucks too.

– See more at: http://michelfortin.com/gary-halbert-call-part-1-of-4/#sthash.6Pd1SzSd.dpuf

Dear Mom, I’m very busy right now and I don’t have time to call so that’s why I’m writing you this letter. You know mom not only are you responsible for my very existence, you are also the nourishment that has made my life sparkle.

I’m under a lot of stress right now and for some reason, I started thinking about you. It has occurred to me that maybe I haven’t let you know recently how much I appreciate you and how much I love you.

I especially like remembering you and then I have them fill in something special like, on my 18th birthday when you gave me that gold Rolex watch, or whatever it was. Anyway, I’m going to make it a point to see you just as soon as I can and then you sign love, and your name.

I have them fold that up, put it in the envelope, put a stamp on the envelope and seal it.

Then, we do it all over again with the second envelope and they write their name at the top of the envelope in the corner card and below that they write the date and they write the time which will be just a few minutes later. They address the envelope once again to their mom to their home and then they write another letter to their mom. This time it says:

Dear Mom, If I weren’t such a long way from home, I probably wouldn’t have the guts to tell you this but the following has been true ever since I was born. You have made my life a living hell.

Every person I know has a mother that is superior to you in every positive way imaginable. You are nothing more than a wrinkled up old bitch and as far as I’m concerned, the biggest waste of skin God ever created.

Speaking of God, as the good Lord knows, you’re certainly not too mentally swift either. So just in case your low IQ keeps you from understanding what I’m trying to say, let me make it perfectly clear.

And then we have a subhead. Eat Shit and Die. Please don’t call or write me. I have no inclination whatsoever to communicate with you ever again. Reluctantly your son or daughter, you sign your name and then it says P.S. dad sucks too.

– See more at: http://michelfortin.com/gary-halbert-call-part-1-of-4/#sthash.6Pd1SzSd.dpuf

Words can make people fall in love, or put countries at war. Words can lift us up, and words can kill.

When making positive changes in your life, one of the most important things you can do is make sure you’re using words that serve your mission, instead of words that pull you, and others, down.

Put the power of positive affirmations to use.

Get excited and tell people about the new positive changes you’re making.

Use your words to inspire others, lift them up, and show em’ what’s possible.

Use your words to speak truth, love and life.

And don’t complain, about anything… instead, look for solutions.

Like Ted Nugent scans the forest for wild game with his bow and arrow, keep a close eye out for any and all complaining.

When you first do this, you might be surprised at just how often you actually do complain, even though right now there’s a good chance you’re completely unaware of it.

Most people complain an average of 15-30 times a day. And every one of those complaints is just adding fuel to the negative fire of the shit you don’t want going on in your life.

Instead of complaining, seek solution.

To help keep myself in check, I’ve used a leather band on my wrist, and every time I catch myself doing any kind of complaining, I’d take it off and put it on my other wrist. There’s something about the physical action of it that makes it easier and easier to catch the complaints. This reduced my complaints by at least 95%

Another way to do it is keep a coin in your pocket and whenever you catch yourself complaining, put it in the other pocket.

A great book about this, and where I learned it from, is A Complaint Free World. It changed my life.

B2C4FFAE-1AC8-46DE-9D8D-FB20B59E90D66. Don’t be a one man wolfpack

Surround yourself with people who support and empower you, and whom you support and empower as well.

Put yourself around people who are doing the kinds of things you wanna do, and people who are doing them better than you are, and are willing to show you how.

Find people who’ve walked the path you wanna walk, and ask them to show you the way.

Find people who are the best at the areas of your life that you wanna improve, and learn from them. Today, with the internet and things like skype, you can access all kinds of people from every corner of the world, in ways that just ten or fifteen years ago wouldn’t have been possible.

Find a community of like-minded individuals where you can help lift each other up…

… Whether it’s as informal as a group of friends you hang out with, or a little more structured like a club, mastermind group, church group, 12 step meeting or a fucking drum circle… as long as it’s positive, empowering and you enjoy it.

If one doesn’t exist, start one. In person is great, but I know lots of people who are involved in extremely empowering private Facebook groups and Google groups, as well as conference call mastermind meetings.

If there are people in your life who don’t support you, either get them out of your life, or spend a lot less time with them.

The people you surround yourself can make all the difference in the world.

The old adage that we’re the average of our 5 closest friends, has proven to be true time and again, at least in my experience.

BBC86B43-1C32-495C-A1D2-503DDB4D72A07. Accountability

Give yourself some sort of accountability.

My favorite example of this is the Alpo Diet…

… I first heard about from that big, crazy, giant of a man, personal development coach, Tony Robbins.

In case you don’t know, Alpo is a brand of dog food.

What you do is get together with a bunch of your closest friends, all at one time. Weigh yourself right there in front of em’. Then tell em’ to come back in 30 days when you’re gonna weigh yourself again.

You then pull out a can of Alpo in front of em’ all, and commit that if you don’t lose X amount of pounds in 30 days, you will eat the entire can of Alpo, right there in front of them.

You WILL lose the weight.

THAT, is accountability.

One time when I wanted to get back in shape, I did a blog post on my other blog for personal trainers and publicly stated that I was going to lean out. I got a ton of comments supporting me… How could I let all those people down?

I lost the weight. I’ve gone up and down since, but that initial public commitment kept me accountable and turned everything around.

8. Read, watch and listen to stuff that empowers you and serves your journey

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.”

― George R.R. Martin

The world is filled with books, blogs, videos and courses on just about anything you wanna improve, including yourself. There’s “how to” information on literally everything…

… Self-help books, spiritual texts, personal development blogs, business courses, autobiographies, you name it… it’s all been written by people who’ve walked before you.

What’s great is, you often have many options from many personalities and voices.

If one guy’s voice doesn’t resonate with you, someone else’s will.

And if reading’s not your thing, listen to audio books or podcasts or watch videos, like The Good Life Project from Jonathan Fields or The Happy Movie


For living a happier life, one of my all time favorite books is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

But if Eckhart’s too mellow and spiritual for you, give The Joe Rogan Experience a whirl… it’s a great podcast that’s funny, enlightening and he talks about a lot of important stuff. If you like this blog, then you’ll definitely like Joe’s podcast.

I also recommend checking out Shawn Achor’s book The Happiness Advantage

If super-hyper motivational dudes are more your style, try Tony Robbins and Brendon Burchard

Or let’s say you’re a guy who wants to get jacked, but have no interest in shaving your legs and prancing around on stage in a speedo, or following routines written by guys who are genetically gifted freaks of nature and spend more money on drug consumption than they do their mortgage… but you’d still like to pack on some serious mass…

… Then you might like how Jason Ferruggia does it or Smitty’s Accelerated Muscular Development stuff ( Both these dudes know their shit)

And if you wanna lean-out, but don’t like being carb-depleted all the time, try Carb Cycling or the intermittent fasting Renegade Diet

And don’t think you need to spend a ton of money just to educate yourself, you can get tons of great information from free blogs, YouTube videos and podcasts, and you can find used books for just a few bucks a piece.

Reading and learning has been a paramount part of my own journey, I do it daily, usually for at least an hour, but I prefer two to two and a half hours.

Sure I still like to watch my share of The Wire and True Detective… but I typically limit myself to one show per night… right before I bust open a good book.

If you watch TV at night, try cutting your TV time in half and spend the other half of the time reading.

Instead of listening to music all the time when you drive, listen to audiobooks and podcasts.

Instead of spending so much time on Facebook, spend more time on blogs that empower you, and help you live the kind of life you wanna live.

Get in the habit of constantly putting good stuff in, your life will thank you for it.


This next one, # 9,  might not be your style… especially if the kind of comeback you wanna make involves making a bunch of money or impressing a bunch of people… it might even make it to where those things are no longer important to you… so fair-warning.

But if you want a life that’s better than the one you have now, and you’re willing to sacrifice a few layers of your ego to get it, you can’t beat #9. In fact, the more frustrated you are with your current situation, the more desperate you are to change, the more power this next one will have.

But it ain’t for lightweights…

248D7C8F-5EAB-43F0-9442-B2C02ADE68929. Just give up

I don’t mean give up on your dreams, I mean drop the struggle…  just like you’d drop a piece of shit if someone tried to hand it to you.

Kibosh the constant need to try to control everything.

It’s funny, but once we stop trying to control a bunch of outside circumstances that are beyond our control, and realize that maybe something bigger than us is running the show here, we’re able to operate from a much higher place.

And just be clear, I ain’t telling you what to believe in here

… cuz I have no idea what’s running the show, zero, zilch, nada.

I just know it ain’t me, and when I give up control and let whatever is in charge do it’s job, without me getting in the way all the time, my results are a million-billion-trillion-times-infiinity better, but only 100% of the time.

Some people do it with a simple prayer of surrender, like “please help” … or “guide and direct me” or the classic “Thy Will. Not My Will, Be Done”

Others do it the formal way through a church, if that’s your thing

Another way to is to do what Bill The Stock Guy and Bob The Butt Doctor did…

Bill Wilson, a failing stock speculator and Robert Smith, a proctoligist, are the dudes who started Alcoholics Anonymous back in 1935. And together with the first group of drunks they helped to get sober, they came up with what are known as the 12 steps

These steps can help anyone, regardless of whether you have any addictions or not.

I won’t go into all the steps here cuz there’s plenty of literature out there that does them a lot more justice than I can, but lets just say, these steps have brought back millions of people from their personal hells of everything from alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, gambling issues, spending problems, overeating, co-dependency, you name it.

They help put back together the person on the inside, which is a key part of putting life back together on the outside.

It’s just hard to beat a psychic change / spiritual awakening when it comes to getting back up on your feet.

And don’t minimize the power of the steps just cuz maybe you have a bad impression of twelve step meetings… The meetings, and the steps, are two different things.

Anyway you wanna do it, handing your will and life over to nature, the Universe, the force, God, Jesus… whatever label works for you (most people are talking about the same thing anyway) carries an immensely healing power that can not only put you in a better place internally, but can guide your life to somewhere far better for you and everyone involved.

It can be as simple as a daily heartfelt prayer of surrender, or more structured like the 12 steps.

Screen Shot 2013-06-22 at 10.24.27 PMThe road ahead…

Right now, this very moment, your life starts.

You get a do over, a second chance. Not because I say so, or because I’m arrogant enough to think the words on this page are All Powerful, but because this moment is all you have.

Nothing else exists… this, right now, is your life, and you can do whatever the hell you want with it.

You can do whatever it is you’ve been doing and keep getting the same kind of results you’ve been getting.

Or you can start fresh, and be like Robert Downey Jr… going from smoking crack in sleazy hotel rooms, to being fucking Iron Man.

Your comeback probably won’t be easy, it could even be the toughest thing you’ve ever done, especially at first. But it’s worth it. You’re worth it.

When you do what’s right, and you fight for your right to be happy, your right to be the best you that you can be, to live the kind of life you deserve to live, to make the comeback of your life… the entire universe will line up to help you.

The perfect person will pop up in your life at just the right moment, stressful thoughts will slip away and intuition will guide you… where you once saw nothing but obstacles, now you’ll see the signposts. Coincidence will be the order of the day.

You have it within you to do great things.

Things far beyond what you may see yourself as capable of doing right now. When self-doubt tries to get in your way, take it as a sign that you’re on the right path, and pummel it into submission through the power of action, cuz remember…

Self-doubt means just one thing: Go Forward.

When the only thing louder than your army of critics is your own self-doubt screaming so loud in your ear you’re getting spit on your face, you know you’re onto something big.

There will be bumps in the road, that’s ok, it means your taking action. These challenges are your opportunities to grow, to become stronger and wiser.

Be patient, change doesn’t happen all at once. You’re not gonna go from from homeless to a millionaire, from fat to ripped, or from strung out on heroin to enlightened like the Buddha overnight.

These things take time, most things worthwhile do.

I cannot motivate you, only you can do that. You either burn deep inside to make changes, or you don’t. If you have a big enough reason why, you’ll do it.

D4100D8D-E72B-4CFB-A246-433CF8E9C355But I do hope to inspire you, and give you a few strategies that have worked for myself as well as countless others.

You don’t need to do all 9 of the things on this list, by all means, use this list as a buffet, but in my experience, these are some of the most common threads of those who completely turn there lives around… and I’m not just talking about making a few bucks, getting a six-pack or getting laid.

I’m talking about real change, to a life that isn’t worth trading away for any amount of sex, money, possessions, prestige or imagined power.

I’m talking about living the life so good things like that just ain’t that big a of a deal anymore… sure, sex and money are great… but they’re only a small part of the equation.

I’m talking about a life so fucking awesome that… well… I’ll let you fill in the rest.

Talk soon,

Big Chris

P.S. If you’d like to get more blog posts like this one, as I write em’, subscribe to this blog here…

And if you liked this post, I’d be stone cold honored if you would push some of those social media sharing buttons up top and share it with your friends…

… like the Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and Google Plus buttons

AND… I’d love to hear your comments below

Photo of wooden rungs on pole, is by David Oliva

Written by Chris McCombs

Just put your primary email in here and I’ll be sure to hook you up ( I hate spam too so I promise to keep it private and never share it with anyone) … I’ll see you on the other side


  1. Shaun Brant says:

    Chris, what an amazing post. I can really feel that you poured your heart and soul into this. I am very impressed with this comprehensive look at the ways you can get your life moving in a positive direction. These steps you have provided can and I’m sure will help a lot of people really improve their lives. You are doing your fellow man a huge service by sharing your epic struggles and triumphs with us so that we might learn from the lessons you learned, and avoid making the same mistakes you made. There is no greater gift you could share with the rest of us and for that I am eternally grateful.

    • Becca Kinsey says:

      This is fucking brilliant. Stumbled across this looking for help on anxiety at 2:30am- what a diamond in the rough!! I’m so uplifted and have so so much hope after reading this! I have the upmost respect, admiration and appreciation for you Chris!! This has struck a chord in me!! Fantastic! Keep it up and thank you again!!

      Becca (Wales, U.K.) xxx

  2. Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

    Man, shaun, you’re too kind

    I’m humbled by your words brother, true story

  3. Thanks for another masterpiece. About a year ago you asked me to write a guest post for kick back life, as it turns out, I didn’t even know I could write! Just a short year later I have been given a fitness and nutrition column in my local newspaper and an online blog for them where I write on local business. That’s just one of the ways you helped shape my life over the last year. I just want you to know that your impact goes far and wide and posts like these are going to touch a lot of lives. Keep up the great work brother.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Wow man, so cool

      That’s awesome you’re expanding your reach with your writing brother, you have a lot of good things to say Jeremy

      Sounds like things are going well for you, this is good news man, very happy for you

  4. Noelle Page says:

    Wow Chris, that was really powerful! Thanks for the inspiration, and the advice on stacking.. baby steps to get going and build on your goal each day. The mountain isn’t so high if you just focus on daily steps in the right direction… I’m going for it (: You’ve done a great thing here, very fortunate to have found this site! Thank you!

  5. GREAT fucking post. Inspiring to say the least. Thank you for sharing big guy…

  6. Allan Richardson says:

    Thanks for rekindling the fire within. You help make the World a good, no-bullshit kind of place to live. Thanks.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      help make the World a good, no-bullshit kind of place to live huh?

      damn, I’m honored and humbled brother, thank you!

  7. MOMO PANTS says:


  8. What an awesome outlook and some serious…get your shit together advice.

  9. Chris… you’re the MAN!!

    You’ve just given me the pivotal motivation to start moving in the direction of my dreams again.

    Can’t thank you enough brother!! Love your blog!! AWESOME

    Remember your dream is your only scheme so keep pushing!!

  10. Thank you for once again firing me up and inspiring me to dream big and kick some ass. I absolutely love your writing.

    Over the course of several years, I lost 5 babies. It is the kind of pain and utter devastation I wouldn’t wish on anyone and I never thought I would come out of it. But warriors are forged by fire and it made me realize that if I could overcome that, nothing else would be able to break me. I am now the proud mama of a little girl. The pain never goes away completely, but I know that if I would have allowed myself to fall apart and be defined by my tragedies I would not have honored the souls of those little ones.

    Keep on inspiring us, Chris!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      wow Tamera, I commend you and you’re attitude

      soooo happy that you have you’re little girl you can love with all your heart, and so happy she has you (=

      • Kelli Hurley says:

        My nephew uses “the f-word” quite a lot and while I don’t really care for that word, I guess it’s just part of the vernacular for some people. I find it unnecessarily aggressive I guess. (My mother used to say, however, that people who swear profusely have a limited vocabulary. She said quite a lot of things, that perhaps I should include in a book of some sort). As usual, I digress. I’m of an age where I should know enough to dispense advice to other people, but mostly what I would say would be what most everyone else who is successful in their respective lives would say; that barring having a life that deliberately adversely affects someone else, each individual should choose a life that represents their passions and purpose for being on this Earth. Oddly enough, it is only more recently that I have allowed myself to become a victim of peer pressure, even though I am well past the age (55) that that should be a consideration.

  11. Chris, you are a great example of the life-altering difference of having “knowledge” vs. “wisdom”. It is that wisdom that is propelling you to the greatness you have and are continuing to attain. Very inspiring and well done.

    A quote which I thought of after reading this blog comes from Confucius – “You cannot carve rotten wood”. Very appropriate based upon what you have been through, the lessons learned and the changes you have made. Continue to forge the iron, brother. Look forward to reading more.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks Carlos

      “you cannot carve rotten wood”

      how true it is

      gonna share on FB

      rock on brother

  12. AJ Brown Jr says:

    Ummm…how can I draw two “thumbs way the fuck up” on my keypad?

  13. Another great one, Chris. I really love reading your blogs (more than once) and letting the info sink into my brain. I have one question. Today, right now, as you sit and read this, are you in a good place and happy? I know happy can be different things to different people; how about content? Content isn’t a wussy thing, it’s a miracle to be there at times. Content is relaxing and safe. All the best.

  14. Michael Gallaher says:

    From one 12 stepper to another! When I finally found a group of drunks (G.O.D.) like me I found a group of people that could understand my story. A God of my understanding. Not the God that the Priest told me would speak to for me but that which I could communicate with directly. One who I could understand and accept was greater than me and wasn’t me then I could let go and allow Him/It/She/whatever to steer the ship while I pedaled.
    Most things in Life fall under the heading of ‘ya, just don’t know what ya don’t know’! You have beautifully put into words/word pictures that which I needed to hear. Gotta get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.
    You are absolutely right – Why is NOT the word! How IS THE WORD!!!!
    Thanks for all you do. Have a great day!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      right on Michael

      man, I couldn’t agree more brother

      releasing control of the ship to the real Captain is so damn liberating

  15. Amazing post! Just getting into your blog in the last month or so. Really meaningful stuff and I have shared with others who love it as well. Really turning my life around in the last 2 years. It’s a constant effort and your posts/writing is another piece that is helping me keep on track. Thanks.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      isn’t turning your life around like the coolest fucking thing in the world?

      Happy for you

      and thanks so much for sharing

  16. Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

    Ron, you are a fucking trooper

    these loses will lead to the best things of your life

    I fucking know it

    thanks for sharing man

  17. Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

    right on Sean

    all that shit made you stronger, you’re a warrior brother

  18. Best post ive ever read… exactly what i needed to hear i have 2 months before i go back to school and everyday i have to fight addiction, wat helps me is getting lost in living, like working out or martial arts fall in love with life and you dont need that other stuff…

  19. Awesome post Chris. Keep’em coming.

  20. Chris what an awesome and timely post. It’s not important where I am but I had one of the best bootcamps going in the area, started 3 other camps where I live averaging over 30 people in each session, was doing PT and had a few trainers working for me. I was on radio, in the paper, on tv and then I lost it all. I fell down and hit the ground with a resounding thud. I’ve gotten back up and am getting my m****f**** stuff together. But thank you my brother this was truly an extremely helpful and uplifting post. I’m using a 10 turnaround business and it’s happening. My boot camp starts up again July 8th and the PT stuff is getting started again. I’m all over the place not totally making since but I’m glad to be working my way back to the top again Chris. But when you’ve been where I was and lose it all and trying to make a come you really don’t give a sh** how you sound to people other than like your blog is called I.m FREAKIN’ RISEN ABOVE or in my case RERISEN. Yo man I’ve got tears and not a shame to admit it.

    Thank you..thank you..thank you for an eye opening, timely and just thought provoking post.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      wow JR, thanks man

      crazy as it seems, the falling seems to be an important part of the journey for those of us who get back up

  21. Man what an awesome post. One of the best blog posts I’ve ever read. So real, so honest, so humble, and such good advise.

    I know that something bigger than all of us is at play here, but you’ve sure figured out how to live your life really well and the way you’re living it is an inspiration.

    What an absolute legend.

    Cheers man

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      damn JD, humbled and honored

      thank you sooo much for taking the time to say these nice things

      kick some ass brother!

  22. I started reading your post earlier in the day and couldn’t finish because I had to get to work. See the last couple of years have really sucked and I have a part time job and a full time job and it seems like the hamster wheel takes more wattage to spin these days.
    I am at work and I couldn’t wait to get home to read the rest of the post. And man you did not disappoint. Great thoughts and great writing.



    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks steve

      finding your passion is key brother

      search brother, you’ll find it

      fuck the hamster wheel

  23. Wow. Ive read quite a few of your blogs now, and this one… this one really touched me. Not only tears, but the burning feeling in your chest, when you know youre hearing something that is going to make you think differently, act differently, and look for doing better in your life. I am fortunate not to have huge “problems” in my life. No addictions, no big financial worries. But, still, this writing has inspired me to look at who I surround myself with, what I want out of my life. Going to find that copy of THE POWER OF NOW that I never read. Thanks Chris.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      damn lisa, what a super nice comment

      yeah. the power of now was, and is, a life changer for me


  24. Chris, awesome skills Brother at putting thought to pen and paper. Very deep and awesome post and I KNOW will help many folks dust off and stand up and get back to some butt kicking. Awesome stuff.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks Randy, you’ve helped so many people yourself it’s ridiculous brother, ridiculous

      a true inspiration you are

  25. This is a fantastic post. Literally exactly what I needed to hear, how I needed to hear it. It’s refreshing to read all of this from someone with such a great voice. Too often anything written on the subject of self help is approached with such a bull shit touchy-feely, smiles and rainbows attitude that it’s annoying and exhausting to think about. You practically stole the words out of my head with this article; you were able to put together everything I have been trying to tell myself lately. Thanks so much.


    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      I’m honored Chelsea

      been wanting to do a blog like this for a long time, just needed to go to hell and back to get clear so i could make it happen and do it the right way, the scars help (=

      all works for good

  26. Ghislaine Ball says:

    Just wanted to drop you a note to say that I really enjoy your posts – and they resonate deeply even though I doubt that “dowdy, middle-aged, midwestern, suburban haus-frau’ is your target audience 🙂

  27. Well said my man!
    Every set back is an opportunity for a comeback…

    Thats If you choose for it to be!

    Keep em comin bro and STAY STRONG!

    Believing for the best for you!

  28. Dom Paget says:

    Chris…. Heartfelt and awesome advise, yet again your writing has touched and inspired not just myself but many others, THANK YOU SO MUCH…….. as Shaun Brant said correctly your really are serving others (fellow man/women) and from a very spiritually enlightened place well done brother keep up the great work.
    Yours Sincerely

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      thanks Dom ( bad ass name by the way )

      I’m glad my work has found an audience, strange this is, i’d be doing it anyway, but sooooo happy it’s working out the way it is

  29. dominic paget says:

    fantastic post Chris ….. so much great advise THANK YOU Loads from the depths of my heart, keep up the great work, it has REAL value to so many
    Yours Sincerely

  30. Seriously a great post.

  31. Chris, I just happen to stumble upon your website. This blog made me laugh out loud and bring tears to my eyes! That is the best kind of reading for me. I am one of those people who has “lived in a bubble” most of my life, so I don’t l like to complain to anyone about “my problems”. I actually call them issues, I have been stuck on a couple of them and trying to find a way to just let go and let the universe take over, but like most I have “control” issues and not being in control scares the holy crap out of me. Reading this blog has given me the kick in the ass I need to let things go, I have been saying for months I am ready to be happy, but I haven’t really made the necessary changes or let go of the things I need to in order to be happy!! So thank you so much for your words. You are exactly the kind of person I am trying to surround myself with! Wishing you continued crazy happiness!!

  32. Chris, You rock man, you are so authentic and raw… I like that in a person 🙂 because I am kind of the same way, at least that’s what I’m told. I have enjoyed your writing and resonated so much with your journey and where you’ve come from and your outlook on life. You nail it every single time. I’ve experienced so many set-backs its insane yet I drop to my knees in gratitude of where it all took me. I wanted to personally thank you for the energy you put into these blogs, I know you are helping a ton O’ people, including me to stay on the good path! I think I have a huge crush on you! lol Stay amazing! xoxo Fifi

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey thank you sooooooooooooo much Fiona for taking the time to let me know this

      I drop to my knees every day too (=

      it’s how I start my day

  33. i love the way you can lay it down. tour total no bullshit simple and inspirational truths always find me when they should. I love #9 the most. life changes when you give up. that’s motto make it easy #takeiteasybaby

  34. Thank you for writing this blog. I want to change my life so bad…after reading this blog I know that I have the tools to at least know where to start. God bless you!

  35. Dave Ayash says:

    hey bro, i just read your post, very strong words man. thanks very inspiring and moving. Just what i need when things are going the way i wanted them too.. THere’s always a solution to a problem.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      always brother, always a solution, always

      good to hear your looking for the answers

      thanks for your kinds words dave, seriously

  36. You are my new must-read blogger. I love this one, I am about to forward it to my daughters who need to read this too. Thank you — as the saying goes “it will be alright in the end, if it’s not alright, it’s not the end”

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      damn Heidi, honored you would share it with your daughters


      thanks for sharing and for your kind words (=

  37. Simply amazing. You have a gift brother. Rusty

  38. Hey Chris
    Just found your blog and found my self reading every single word and searching for more . After reading 2 i subscribed to your blogs to my email. You are very inspiring and at this point in my life i definitely need inspiration. I lost my mother suddenly in april and since then everything just seems to be falling behind me. I have always worked my way as a manager of retail and never seem to really enjoy the perks of life. All i seem to do is work to pay the bills. I am trying to figure out what makes me happy and find my passion but it has been a hard ride for sure. Anyway i just wanted to thank you for your blogs because they really help and i am definitely going to use your knowledge and try to get out of my rut.
    Thanks again
    Kelly Jo
    kelly jo

  39. Chris – I just LOVE reading your posts – I have read a lot of self help books over the years but reading your words move me emotionally more than all of them put together – thank you so much for all your positive inspiration you are giving us all who read them – THANK YOU!

  40. excellent post I will be following!! totally disagree with this comment tho ” what is probably the most efficient and gnarly kind of self-defense known to man, Krav Maga, Ahh you really need to get out more! Krava will get ya killed!! is a business generator for chics and yuppies filled with premeditated, nonpractical, methods stolen from other arts. There is no such thing as self defense, you can either fight or you cant fight. If you think defend first you already lost!

  41. Read it all to the end Chris and thanks for sharing your story and inspiring others..Still soaking in all the things you said!!
    Cheers from India.

  42. Beth Skinner says:

    Thanks for sharing your inspirational story, Chris!!! It’s encouraging to know that good can come with hard work even after “rock bottom”. I hit what I think was the bottom a couple of weeks ago and I only want to come back stronger, but it’s going to be a lot of work – losing friends, and more importantly losing faith has shaken me. But I keep reading your blog and it keeps me psyched!!! Thank you!! Keep writing, you’re an inspiration 🙂

  43. Thanks, Chris. I always seem to be prompted to read your blog at a time when I really need to read and absorb what you have to say.

  44. Dear Chris,

    While reading this I laughed heartily, and cried. Whoa. Thank you for the wealth of thoughts, encouragements, recommendations, resources, and shaking the roots of suffering. Very poignant indeed!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      I love the way you put this

      if I can make someone laugh and cry in the same post, i’ve done what I set out to do (=

  45. Tom Tennisco says:

    Thank-you, Chris. Powerful, insightful and inspiring.

  46. Hi Chris

    Timing is everything !!! I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about what a twat I’d made of myself at my sons football in the morning (and I’m the coach). Feeling guilty, embarassed etc etc etc. Then went on FB and saw you’d written this post. I only read the first 3 points last night but it gave me some peace. I’ve now read the rest and can tell you this is my all time favourite post ever, to the point, said in a way for us ‘normal’ people to understand and at the same time a kick in the bollox to sort yourself out.

    Many thanks

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey right on martin

      yeah, beating oneself over the head sucks and almost always unnecessary

      Learn and move on – that’s the best way to go

      thanks man

  47. Hey Chris,
    It seems like I’ve been stuck in a sinkhole sized rut for the last 2-years. Where everything I touch seems to turn to rust. I “really” needed to hear this (read) today.

    Thanks man!

  48. Chris, I’m glad that I got to read this post today. Keep writing!

  49. Chris,
    thank you, thank yo,u thank you! your writing is point blank and motivating as hell! Your topics are so timely and always hit home when i need it the most……..keep doing your thing and we will keep reading.


  50. You know what Chris, you and your posts are really great and inspiring, and even though I’m only 17 y.o. this whole blog gives me the motivation to build my life as I want and to do whatever the fuck I want (not bad things ofc 🙂 )
    So I just wanted to THANK YOU for sharing all of this with us, helping us to make our way in life, and to help others to feel happy and learn from ours mistakes

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      so cool Kristjan that you’re learning this stuff at 17

      at 17 I had NO IDEA about teachings like this

      metal, my GF and weed

      that was it for me at 17

      you’re in a good place

  51. Hi Chris…may I start off by saying your timing is impeccable! I really enjoy your whole site, the good, the gnar, the straight the fuck up-ness. I have one of those addictive personality thingys too with a hell of a long list of shitty and blessed. Thank you for doing what you do…I needed a slap in the back of the head to see HOW I can change some things in my life, not WHY I felt inclined to bitch about things that are beyond my control. Thank you so much!

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      so cool of you to share Erika

      the addictive personality can be a blessing or a curse

      so good when it’s turned into a blessing (=

  52. Fuck,I feel like my older brother just sat me down and broke it down to me………….I m a recovered Alcoholic, recovering benzo addict, and in probably the worst part of my life .But I printed this post and hung it up all over the house. I also used to bounce for 15 years and used it as a drug or my anger. I always felt better hurting people like I was hurt. This brought tears to my eyes and makes me realize That today is a new day Bro!! Thanks man for giving me a hand out of the darkness……I wasn’t sure I was going come out of this one alive. But I put my head up, getting UP and starting OVER. L&R ,Quake

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Tommy, sounds like we have a ton in common

      where we were can make us have a badass life where we are

      use your challenges to learn, grow and evolve bro

      that’s what they’re here for

  53. Hi chris, I think this is the best blog you’ve written! I can tell that it comes from the heart and it sounds like you’ve grown a lot from your recent experiences. I also look at everything as a positive in disguise. The reason that I’m in the fitness business is because I was pissed off at a situation in the career I use to be in and decided I wasn’t going to tolerate it. I had no idea that fitness was going to be so perfect for me and I wouldn’t be where I am now if things had gone well there. So I had to have a kick in the butt to make a change! If we don’t make the change, then life will push us in that direction. By the way, thanks for the book recommendations and I like the complaint strategy, that must make a huge difference.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey right on Stephanie

      I sooo appreciate the kind words

      you’re changing a TON of lives out there girl

      A TON

      Hope all is well

      And glad you liked the books (=

  54. Hi Chris, this is a great read. I love all your work and this one hit a home run with me, my favorite. I’d love to hear your wise and kind words on forgiveness some day. Its a tough ask at time to do this for yourself as well as for others…..

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey Ned, I actually have a draft post I’ve written all about forgiveness, just need to polish and post

      One thing that helped me, is praying everyday ( to WHATEVER you believe in ) that the person you resent have all the love and happiness you want for yourself and your own family

      even if you don’t mean it at first

      i’ve even prayed for the willingness to mean it

      It helps, some resentment went away right away for me, others took months, but it WORKS

  55. empowering.

    (I’m a man of few words…here’s two more)

    thank you.

  56. Once again, you nailed it, Chris. Thanks for putting your stuff together. I resonated with much of what you said…I even have a wristband I got from http://www.complaintfreeworld.biz to leave the complaining at the door and when I was younger, I did eat the can of Alpo…just for the heck of it! Keep it going, Bro.

  57. After doing some serious thinking I got to the conclusion that in life, the answer to “WHY” is “F.U.” And now I just saw that I’m not the only one who’s moved on from asking the wrong questions.
    Thank you for an inspiring post Chris. I needed your thought-provoking writing as I’m going through a decision process. I’m about to make one life-changing decision and I’m scared of what might happen if I leave my current comfort zone and jump into the unknown.
    I can’t say that you helped me make a decision, but I now feel that my mind has expanded quite a bit.
    Thank you my friend.

  58. Gr8 post Chris and very honest and inspiring too

  59. Hey Chris,

    What separates you from the legion of other other motivational speakers and what not is that you are not afraid of putting yourself ‘out there’ and your liberal use of fuck :), that just makes the post more believable; almost as if a friend is speaking rather than some random guy somewhere.

    Man I’m glad that you walk this planet the same time that I do and I happened to somehow land up on your blog.

    Take care brother and keep writing.

  60. ‘fucking awesome post , just what I needed my brother. Gracias .

  61. Your words/posts always find me at just the right time 😉
    Thanks for being you.

  62. Hey Chris, this is the first truly inspired post I’ve read on this subject.

    What I really love about it is that it comes from a very personal perspective but, like the art of war, can be applied to a variety of experiences. I also love how it goes against the generic and is spoken with the kind of passion of a man who has not only been through perdition but also still FEELS it.

    I always thought that I had a mind of steel and that everything is easy. However, I had been lying to myself: I am 33 and have just been diagnosed with ADHD. The diagnosis spun me out to a point where I haven’t touched my guitar in 4 months at a time when I’m preparing to fly to Los Angeles from London to record my band’s debut album. The reason for this is that I’ve looked at myself and my under achievements (I should have had 4 albums out by now!) and reconciled them with my ADHD. This led to a sub conscious reaction of ‘if I’ve never finished anything in my life, what’s the point in starting?’. That sentiment goes completely against my value system but was enabled by the depth of this slump. I have also just lost my job, can’t afford my rent and owe two years of tax!

    My wife, who has Borderline Personality Disorder has been in a worse slump for a decade – she has ended up damn near dead on several occasions, gone missing for days at a time, ended up in crack houses and basically paints the picture of someone who has given up on life. Her and I have decided to accept the difficulties of our lives and our volatile disorders but not attribute blame to them and actually to work with them to achieve what we need to.

    That has been extremely difficult but this post, coming from someone who understands and has experienced problems of a similar magnitude and who speaks with unbridled passion about his rise from it is a massive inspiration.

    Thanks so much for taking the time to do this,

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      damn alex, thanks so much for posting

      so cool youre an artist, check out pressfield’s war of art if you get a chance (different from Sun Tzu’s art of war which you mentioned)

      GREAT book for the artist and moving beyond resistance

      i got that adhd shit too, most of the great ones do (=

      just don’t let adderral kill your creativity, which it can do… not sure if you’re now on it, but if it messes up your creative side, maybe talk to your doc

      anyway, thanks man!

      • I’ll check it out for sure man; thanks!

        As far as the methylphenidate is concerned, I’m gonna ride it out until I get the critical shit done and then put some CBT into action to undo all those years of bad habit forming.

        The great thing about the meds is that they are quick release and so can be throttled back when the zaniness and heightened emotional state are required!

        Once again thanks for this blog dude, it’s fucking proper (as we say here in London!). I’ve read 5 or 6 posts today and will continue to do so whenever I feel like I’m being dragged back in – which is every couple of hours at the mo.

        Awesome stuff, fucking love it,
        Alex x

  63. Amazing post, amazing man. Thanks, man!

  64. i loved this article. excellent.
    i must confess that i had to get past the ‘language’, and yet, the toughen up, boot camp kinda talk is exactly what i need!
    wonderful poignant points, straight talk, and constructive advice.
    will be following you!
    mary in missouri

  65. Hi Chris
    Love your blogs.! Just stumbed upon them. Just what I needed to hear ..love your candid humor and to the point up front ..lets deal with the shit in our lives and start living the lives we are meant to approach. I have been having trouble for a few years now trying to dig my way out of the shit pile of life issues I’ve been under. I can see a small light in the distance where there was only darkness for what seemed like an eternity. Ay 53 i feel I may have missed the boat for having the life I dreamt of .But my faith in letting go and letting God or the universe take over so the rest of my life isn’t one big struggle is what gets me through the day sometimes.Also reading good stuff like you put out there gives me hope and strength to keep on and keep trying to find a sense of self worth.
    Thank you for all you do to help us see our light.

  66. Tom Bailey says:

    I enjoyed your article on “the comeback” – I have a book I would like to quote some of the things you mentioned. Would you mind sharing your opinion on Challenge Solving in general?

    Best regards,
    Tom Bailey

  67. Chris I don’t think you realise how close your thoughts are to Islam. I think you should read more on the fundamentals of Islam by reading the Quran. Get an English version online, and here’s a tip, say ‘BISMILLA’ and Read from wherever you want, you will be amazed I assure you.

  68. Your words have resonated with me. Just what I needed at this difficult time in my life. I am unhappy with my dead end job, feeling overworked, underpaid, underappreciated, overwhelmed with being a single working mother, in a bad somewhat Abusive relationship, not conducive to my happiness or Well being, really with no one to turn to or talk to. Feeling tired of drinking, feeling like a person can only get knocked on their asshole so many times before eventually they find it difficult to get back up again, or worse yet lose reason to or can’t see any point in doing any of this shit anymore. Trying to get out of this slump. Your words have helped me to regain inspiration. Thank you so much for the post.

  69. I discovered your blog last night after Googling, “Are you taking life too seriously?” Turns out, yes, yes I am. I read that entry and felt better afterwards. I’m in the middle of this entry and I’d just like to say to you THANK YOU for helping me realize that while life is a shit storm at times, you can still get happy. I like your style….

  70. Amazing.

  71. Chris, this post was so inspirational to me! At 23 years old I feel guilty even having to google “ways to get out of a slump” but shit happens. I’m very thankful that I came across this blog and I’m gonna be patient and take the time to follow all of these steps. I’ve taken screenshots of this blog to remind myself everyday that I can make a better life for myself and hopefully rub off on a few others as well. I’ll definitely be reading your other post.

    Thanks you, sir

  72. Chris, this post is what I have been looking for for about 10 years. I’ve read a lot of personal development books, blogs, etc. (including yours) in the past, but nothing has done it for me. I don’t know how I didn’t see this post other times I was on your site, but maybe it wasn’t the right time. I finally found something that is laid out in a logical order, based on someone’s real world experience, that gives real things to do to make a comeback. And by you sharing your life experiences of your journey to hell and back, I know I can get out of my own hell. I had a great life (and do still have a good life), but I lost my way and let myself get depressed and overwhelmed by disappointments from things outside of my control. #9 sealed the deal for me on this because I have tried to control everything in my life. I have been studying these steps over the past 5 days and taking notes. I will be spending some time every day incorporating these things into my life because I WILL MAKE THE FUCKING COMEBACK OF MY LIFE!!!

    Thank you!

  73. inspirational
    Thanks, this has helped me to move forward and get out of my own rut

  74. Hey Chris
    I like your site
    I too lose my path alot and get stuck in cycles of hate and stagnation
    your site is very inspiring because your sharing your experience
    and how you experience it, the way you feel about it without fearing the
    absurdity of what you say… i share alot of what your experiencing and trying my best to find my true path

  75. This really helped me. A lot.
    Had been sitting here crying feeling so stuck and lost until I decided to try to Google my way out of it. And lo and behold I find this.
    Thank you eloquent stranger. Thank you so much.

  76. Chad Smith says:

    Holy Shit….
    Your words pierced my very core.
    As I sit here in my tiny little run down apartment feeling all sappy and shitty about my life and the crap hole it’s become. Broke mentally, physically and financially. My life…. nothing but a massive daily pitty party I forced others to attend. Complaining why me? What did I do to deserve this? I had it all.
    I find this…
    Your words.
    I’m better than this. My present circumstances do not define me.
    Today for some reason other than total disgust, I chose to stand up and through some miraculous set of coincidences, you reach out a virtual hand and yanked me to my feet.
    Props Brother

  77. Daft Northern Brit says:

    Mate, that was an awesome read. In my 20’s i too took obscene amounts of drugs and partied hard, gave that up and moved on. However in my 30’s that shit came back to haunt me and instead of partying i started hiding from other problems in my life. Made a right mess of myself. Am now 7 months clean and sober. Had always loved the gym and lifting. So am now hitting it hard and seeing all the changes i had wanted but never achieved. Bit by bit i am putting myself back together. Sooooo, was trawling through the the internet searching for stuff about ‘pulling yourself out of the shit’ and i happened to stumble across this blog. Truly epic read. Feel inspired to keep driving forward and making the most of the short time i have on this planet. I very rarely post anything on the net, felt compelled to after reading this. Kudos to you big man!!!

  78. Thank you for every single word! You have a huge heart and your desire to help others through your words makes me grateful I found you! I am so inspired and I can ‘feel’ the change begin within me as I type this message.
    Thank you Chris McCombs!!!!!!!

  79. George Wright says:

    3rd time I have read this since becoming a fa. 2015 is going to be an amazing year as I continue to shape my life before turning 50 in 2 years. It is you along with others who have made my life joyful again. Thanks!

  80. Josh Bryant says:

    Excellent Chris!

    Happy New Year

  81. I found your blog via stumbleupon five days ago. Ever since I keep coming back to remember some of your words, they are very useful especially for fresh starts.

    Keep it up, and happy holidays : )

    – Helena

  82. Hey Chris

    Your posts are excellent and this is yet another zinger! Loved the stuff about accountability.
    Please take a look at this and see if it sparks your interest.


  83. Life is kicking my ass right NOW!!! This found me me OR I found this (your page) at the right time! You Rock

  84. Lost Soul says:

    Hi Chris. I have been reading- but it is your posts which strike. I was living a really good life until Ive completely messed my life up- Ive concentrated my recent life on travel. In simple terms I lost so much money gambling (to me an insane amount, but I guess to most westerners a totally redeemable situation) and find myself in debt , after admitting I have become a compulsive gambler (ironically a loophole in gambling was providing me with my only modest income for the past 18 months and had enabled me to travel). And yeah problems have piled up along the way, grandma passing away, nobody giving me a shot at any job and the UK government in my time of need denying me any benefits. So currently Im in a bad way, suffering from depression too and did also attempt suicide as a result of my addiction not too long ago .
    I would like to thank you for all your posts in this website, they have been of great comfort and inspiration to me. I just wish my mind would accept these more easily. You genuinely are deserving of every happiness and success, given what you have conquered. Technically compared to your demons and situations, my situation seems more than redeemable (although that seems very hard for me at the moment). Thanks for everything.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey thanks for commenting Lost Soul. Yeah, gambling addiction can be a tough one. I have heard of people having success doing the Twelve Steps in Gamblers Anonymous. Not just to stop gambling, but to be happy and free. Thanks again.

  85. Thank you for posting this…….

  86. I completely agree with your post. You know what’s amazing and kinda ironic at the same time? You say you aren’t a religious person but many or even most of the things you say, are actually some of my religion’s beliefs. That there are no good and bad persons, only good who make mistakes in their life. That we can’t judge anyone because we don’t know what they ‘ve been through and we aren’t that much better that them. The important thing is to know yourself and admit your mistakes, regret them and fix them. That we are responsible for our life, because we have free will to choose how we want to live it. That some things are sent by god to make us wiser and stronger, to test our faith. That being miserable and having a low self esteem is a sign you need to try harder to change yourself and your life. The importance of belonging in a community, caring for others and having others care for you. That you have to try hard, but ask god’s help at the same time, because a person can’t make it without some divine help. Actually, I’m an orthodox christian and I study cultural and pastoral theology. Finally, keep writing please because your articles help many people. I like how you talk from your personal experience, the things you say are very practical and you practice in your own life what you preach, how you are honest and raw when you talk about yourself and you don’t seem pretentious. I admire you for getting over difficult circumstances and living up to your dreams.

  87. Chris, this isn’t just an awesome post, THIS is THE POST that I NEEDED or rather was COMPELLED to read right now, this instant. I am in need of a comeback, not from drugs but hell its probably just as bad, coming back from NOT being successful, missing my mark, whatever has happened. My husband and I are on the verge of making a success or making a mess and last night I didn’t sleep at all, a client cancelled yesterday, of course I was expecting that money, needed it, then other things are just happening in my life that are sending it in a tailspin. If I was a giving up, non-faith sort of person, my wrists would be slit or I would be lying in the tub with a ton of barbiturates in my stomach. But I’m not that person, I am a woman of faith and I know that faith and belief and perseverance holds out over ANYTHING. I survived breast cancer, 6 rounds of hellish chemo and thousands of other pricks, prods and pokes to have my brother die recently alone and really destitute and to find out that he was probably the victim of a prize scam. My daughter is incarcerated over stupid shit and now her kids and ex-husband and the rest of us are trying to make sense out of what’s left. I could go on, but I am sure you get the point. All that to say that THIS POST was so needed in my life today. Thank you and whatever compelled you to write it, because it was JUST FOR ME. Thank you!

  88. Thank you for this…

    Saving and sharing.

  89. Vanessa Vee says:

    I just discovered your blog after googling “getting back into life after addiction and depression” and this is EXACTLY what I needed to read right now. Thank you so much for sharing what helped you, I truly have been stuck at a dead end for a while now and in need of some sort of guidance. After reading this blog post I am already feeling more positive and confident in my ability to get back up again. You really have a way with words, thanks for the inspiration! I’m looking forward to reading more….. Take care 🙂

  90. James Cullen says:

    Hey chris!
    Just read your posts here and it speaks deeply to me. I’m going through a lot in my life right now and I’m having a lot of problems taking those first steps in changing my life. I lost my career do to getting diagnosed with epilepsy and then due to my drug use and depression I’ve now lost my marriage! Needless to say I’ve lost almost everything that matters to me. But I’ve excepted that the problems lie within myself and my choices and I’ve decided to change myself and and start by loving myself. I figured that it I can learn to love myself and help others than everything else will start falling into place. I’m stuck right now in just taking that first step and it’s harder than I ever would have thought it would be. Would love to hear what you did to get going because the amount of things that keep happening to me is starting to become overwhelming.
    Thanks for your words!

  91. Ongama Mgquba says:

    I also stumbled onto this blog and it’s awesome.! Thanks Chris. I’m going through a tough time right now and your words really connected with me. I feel like everything in my life right now is falling apart, and I’ve worked so damn hard to be where I am.

    They say tough times never last but tough people do! And I’m feeling a whole lot tougher after reading this blog. I always try not to let myself drown in self pity, and your words here have been like a god-send clutching me out of the depths of despair. Thanks mate!

  92. Judi Henrickson says:

    I have been led to your Blog site by a higher power for sure…two words Chris – Thanks Mate!

  93. Hi chris. I came across your blog when I searched on Google “how to come back from losing everything”. I loved your “http://chrismccombs.net/how-to-make-the-comeback-of-your-life/”. It really resonated.

    I lost my business. I owe a hell of a lot of money to friends and family who believed in me. My marriage is really suffering. My wife I supporting me. I suffer(ered) from bipolar. Law suits. This is the lowest I have ever been. Ever. In 25 years. My guilt in putting my family in jeopardy is like a concrete overcoat I wear every day. I literally feel the weight. I have put on a ton of weight and have lost my identity as a positive person. Well read. Meditator. Fit and strong financially. Spiritually. Mentally. For the first time in my life. I feel lost. Directionless.

    Your blog made me realise in this darkness I can be re born. Go back to all the things that made me proud of who I was. Reading. Meditating. Being positive. I have led a charmed life. As you said. Been a great manifester. This is new territory!! Not winning. Losing spectacularly! Lol… Your blog has really helped me and I look forward to reading your other posts to aid in my rebuilding.

    Your blog really helps people. That’s priceless. I only hope I can get the chance to do the same for my fellow man.

    Take care and keep up the great work.


  94. Thanks for this awe inspiring post man… This month I’ve come straight from jail to a 12 step program and found your blog… Just what I needed to read to get out of this mind funk and get my life back in order…

  95. Hey. Just wanted to say I really enjoyed your post I am not sure exactly how I found it but I probably need to reread several times as I have just had a bad time of it for the past almost 4 years trying to stay positive and not give the hell up. I refuse. Even with everything it seems working against me I know I can come back. I have to. Peace and love

  96. Hi Chris,
    there’s no such thing as a coincidence. You are so right! I’ve been struggling with a bit of a deluge of problems that hit me over the past few days including a medical condition that means that eventually I will have to have a knee replacement and for someone who has always been active and in a job that requires agility and a frame that works, that’s hard news to deal with. A few other things were also slowly piling up. So I’m trawling through a load of e mails and for no particular reason I decide to look at your blog. And more importantly I decide, for no particular reason, to read it diligently. You reminded me to go back to “Man’s Search For Meaning”. Thanks for your advice and guidance.

  97. I Googled “how to pull a positive attitude out of your ass” and it brought me here. I’ve never been more satisfied with a Google search result.

  98. Honestly, I am/was totally lost — with absolutely no idea of what to do. I was looking for advice that didn’t sit on a foundation of “just have faith, keep going, keep smiling, trust God.” I am a Christian, but some (emphasis on “some”) writers of faith write like their faith never wavers, never fails — and honestly, I’m not that good so I felt like there was something wrong with me. I am thankful for this post of yours, especially for the last tip of just letting go. I’m someone obsessed with control, but I feel like just letting go and leaving it to a higher power is what faith really means — it is a faith I can understand. Also, that mention of 12 steps helps a lot, too. I never understood how you could apply the 12 Steps to other dark times in your life. Thank you.

  99. Thanks for this post Chris – !
    Keep writing, please.


  100. Hi Chris 🙂 I have been in a bad way for about 7 months with very bad digestive issues & a really bad feeling in the diaphragm that makes me feel sick all have which has made me hit rock bottom physically, mentally & especially emotionally. I have looked everywhere on the net to find the answer to my problems. I have totally exhausted every search I could think of & my last search was “I want my fucking health back” & unbelievably (I think from some divine intervention) it came up with your blog. I think I have found the answer finally. I am going to take your blog to a naturopath in my area, a lady who teaches meditation in my area, a psychologist I have started seeing. I want to show them your start & stack step especially & come up with a plan for me. Just try & introduce a new step about every 3 weeks. I loved your comment on if you put the effort in the right person will bob up at the right time 🙂 I have hardly ever read but am definitely going to incorporate that into my daily schedule. Thank you so much Chris! You have given me real motivation to go forward in a positive direction 🙂 You ROCK!!! I will let you know how I am going 🙂 Rod 🙂

  101. Lilly Hudson says:

    Chris, this is freakin’ awesome ! I mean we Brits aren’t known for how expressive we are, but my goodness! Thank you for writing this’s and touching sooo many lives !

  102. Thank you. Thank you for your genuine honesty. Thank you for compiling a list of tools to help self educate yourself. For me that was big. I have eliminated most social media from my life some not by choice, mainly because it effects my marriage. I resonated with your post so much it was semi disturbing but at the same time very productive. I have recently relapsed after a little over two years clean and sober. I have been milling the why over but never wanting to look at the how. I am gonna take this chance to just unload a bit of what I have been carrying around, mainly because at this point I am inspired i believe today is what most would refer to as a spiritual experience. I have a fucked up brain i am smart but not smart at anything productive. I can think my way out of 99% of life problems but the execution of thinking is horrific. I have never had the balls to truly get through a fourth step mainly because of my struggles with what people think of me. It is a burden I carry around and I am not sure why I get my self worth everywhere I am not supposed to. Drugs, sex, porn, cheating, all those things I do thinking it will some how fill this gaping hole inside my body and it hasn’t. I have everything 90% of 27 year old males want. Also I have 90% of what most 27 year old males don’t want. I have struggled with honesty from a very young age just remember Lieing because I didn’t want to get in trouble it was easier to lie and try and keep things “happy” then to tell the truth and deal with the punishment. I have also struggled with authority and The ability to manipulate people. Most people I think my mindset towards them is that of a game a chess. Simply a pawn in most cases expendable in most aspects as long as the king remains unharmed. I am a very selfish person most of the time I believe I constantly struggle with the ability to make myself feel good wether it’s coke crack pot booze masturbation what ever it is I struggle with it’s hard because in most cases my abilities to be able to get things now are fairly good. And if not able to get it know I usually stock up. I have been sober as I mentioned for two years but I haven’t been clean. When I say that I mean mainly clean mentally. As soon as I became dry I started to let myself believe that the masturbation the constant chase of an affair. Fantasizing of things that are highly inappropriate and extremely hurtful to a lot of directly around me but I didn’t care my main mindset was don’t get caught. I didn’t. But it has became so dark and uncomfortable if left this way would surely end up killing me. For me I believe it’s a all or nothing effort I understand that I can’t do it all at once. But today I need to stop all of my evil and as you mentioned in your post all I have is this moment. I have needed to stop a lot of these things for some time but wasn’t ready. Now is my time now is my chance to make a run at this and do something for the better. For no other reason then to do it for myself. Because I am tired of being miserable. It’s gonna be hard. Fucking hard and possibly very miserable. Today I am done with chewing tobacco as I write about it I can taste the Copenhagen in my mouth. But I am done fucking done. Today I am done with coke,crack,whatever you want to call that powdery little bitch. I am done with booze my last 6 pack of dark beer has been put to rest. Today I am done with porn. Adultry. Masturbation and all things dealing with the subject matter. This one will be my hardest to exicute because I have never been able to do so. I am done with lieing I am done with lieing to myself. Other and whatever is running this show I am done with venafaxine. Because it is yet another crutch I have held onto for too long. Today is day one. Thanks again for the post

  103. Amazing
    Your story was exactly what I needed to hear
    Thank you so much xo

  104. I stumbled across this blog when I asked the question how to get yourself out of a hell hole and not feel embarrassed you got yourself in one in the first place. I appreciated all you said, so much so that I was in so much understanding of what you meant. I have gone from someone who was slim, worked out, positive going forward to then becoming a fat, drugged, drunk, disgusting woman (not all the time) Really not who I am. For almost 17 years but believe it or not I have just truly realized it now. I have been wrapped up in my own misery. Pretending to be happy when I am not. I would class it as mental. I know it will be a struggle and very hard to get back to how I know I should be. I also so appreciated the comment on negative people and to avoid. I also have to be truly honest I think I have no true friends. I have my sons and people I associate with and chat with, but no true friends. I identified with it so much. If I had a true friend the advice you gave would be paramount. I think I have to get out and do positive things. Thanks really truly the best article for you make such sense. WELL DONE CHRIS MCcombs



  106. Lisa Michelle Foster says:

    Hi Chris,
    Awesome how you’re choosing to share where you’ve been and where you are now so that so many people can benefit from it. And I love the “no-bullshit” style of your writing. I too stumbled across your post while searching up some way to get out of my rut. I have always been a happy go lucky, sunshine personality type, and I “expect” great things to be a part of me and my life, at all times. What a rude awakening this was for me (3 years ago now), as my husband, (I thought to be my soul mate) and together with our 2 children and our life for 17 years. But one day, when everything was fine, assaulted our son right in front of me, and I watched my son, (who by the way at just 17 years old now is 6 feet 4 inches, weighs 305 lbs and wears a size 14 shoe) and his Dad is my size, which is 5’7″ regular size, but our son stood there and took everything his Dad gave him, for no reason at all, except I attribute it to his own demons and the prison life he has never forgotten. Neither here nor there. Backing up here for a moment, and I think I’ll just shortcut it from here, It all started with me having a heart-attack at the age of 48. Leaving me co-dependent upon my husband, (for the first time in my life, being dependent on anyone felt insane to me as I have been on my own, emancipated at the age of 13 due to feeling I could do better away from my drug using family at that time, whom I love dearly, but I was so full of life, a go-getter, always had the answer to anyone’s problem or situation, and would help them not only see that but help to get them where they wanted to be) Anyway, I’m sorry, I’ll get back to my point, having a heart attack, put me as being dependent, and then my husband assaults our son, so he fled to avoid charges picked up by the state, but then came and stole my vehicle, and totalled it within minutes and then fled the state to avoid all charges, with his $800 check, leaving me high and dry, with no job now, due to the heart attack, no vehicle, and no place to go, no way to feed my babies. We ended up in a camper outside of my mom’s little one bedroom house, with nothing. Anyway, since then, it seems no matter how hard I keep pushing, because, in my mind, this has all been a mistake, because this is just not how things are supposed to go for ME. I have been swimming upstream, and I am just out of energy, my mind and body. And if you knew me, and the person I am, you’d know that to be unthinkable, impossible, would never even come to mind. But, you know, these past 3 years, I have titled: “Never say Never”. One minute of any given day, shit, one second can change your life, flipping it upside down, leaving you to deal with it. I have always been the type that speaks to a doorman the same as I would a CEO. I don’t judge anyone, because everyone has a story and are on their own journey, live and let live. **But you NEVER know, until the next minute, you’re somewhere you NEVER thought you’d be.
    However my list of things stemming from this heart attack and then husband ordeal, and losing my job, then living in the snow, which I don’t like, with no vehicle, getting two kids to school each day, and back home without a vehicle, and finding employment again, and having to get up and face each day, feeling like I was wearing a neon sign, hay look at me, my world is upside down. Get a job as a manager, only to be fucked with seriously by a district mgr, I’m not just whining. I have always kept my daily, monthly journal books of my life since I was 12 years old, I write in them daily, so I have everything down, and I would completely have a case, but that’s not who I am, it seems I’d rather show how “tough” I am and how much inner strength I have (just proving it to myself that I can indeed handle this and make it through because I’m ME) type thing, and everyone says I should write a book, if not a few of them, but it has been non-stop of just back to back to back, including all the little everyday things, shit every minute type thing, for all my days, for a solid 3 years now. But up till now, I have kept pushing, no matter how hard. I got another job, a vehicle, a house, blah blah, then made a move across the U.S. to California, my hometown of HB. and again, for some reason, it is just never ending. But, I get up each day and keep going, I do a crap ton of things each and every day, and of course, I am a life-long learner nerd, constantly reading and writing, and making my notes which turn into binders sometimes and then having to organize everything because I’m a little ocd, all while dealing with life each day, you know because it waits for no one and nothing, and trying to make it known that I am still here, I am still me, but here I sit. I’m staying positive, but at the same time feeling broken and tired. Then pissed at myself for going there. So, I created a website (for work and an attempt at income, since I recently began homeschooling my 12-year-old daughter, add Learning Coach to everything else to do daily lol) so in the midst of it all, I created a website. How’s that work, I plunge into learning, self-teaching, trying to have control over something in my life. So, on one hand, I’m pushing but my other hand is pulling.
    But I’m still smiling, and I’m sorry for the (partial) rant lol But was meant to be here I guess, reading your blog, and will look forward to receiving more of them, while I continue to swim upstream. I had to laugh out loud after typing that. That’s all I can do anymore really. But laughing is great!!!!. The best thing ever besides family, my kids and drag racing. lol
    So, I will just say, keep up what your soul urges you to do Chris. You’re awesome and keeping it real.
    (and to Amanda above, I can relate. You got this. One baby step (like Bob). Do something… anything. Change could be around the next bend girl) visualize and take yourself to where you want to be. (I’m trying to get there myself)… I am (unbelievably) at rock bottom emotionally, spiritually and almost physically, but will keep pushing. (I’m spiritual, not religious by the way) but they say that God never gives you more than you can handle, but sometimes he must think I’m a bad ass.) haha
    When I was half way thru reading your post, I was thinking to myself, wow, this is how people are supposed to be. This is how you’re supposed to be. This is someone I’d love to meet and have in my circle. So keep it up. It’s not easy finding “real” people for your inner circle.
    Have a great day everyone. Thanks again Chris.

  107. caitlin says:

    needed this sooooo so hard right now. thank you so much. <3

  108. Allen anderson says:

    I have Ben work steps for 30 years and have been given freedom that I could never believe possible but the last year of my life has been hell colon cancer kidney falure bipola1 depression like I have never felt almost astate of narcolepsy thoughts of suicide daliy but when I drag myself to meetings I get relife is there one more mirical left thanks to you I’m going to start step again and try thanks keep you posted

  109. Thank you..

  110. Hi Chris, i just love the stuff you write! What this world needs is more people with an attitude like yours.
    Too many people accept their lot in life. There is a a point they simply won’t go beyond. i have problems just like the next man, but the difference between him and me is that i don’t want my problems. i want a solution to them and i want it now. Tomorrow is too far away and too late.
    You mention getting people to help us with whatever it is we want in life. Intelligent advice, but as soon as i mention what i need to solve my problem they don’t want to know.
    I have read countless rubbish self help books, read no end of stuff online and it’s 100% rubbish. is there anything out there that i can read to solve my problem, that doesn’t state the obvious, tell me what i already know. How does telling me what i already know work? How does it solve my problem? Oh! One more thing. The books love to tell me only i can do it! i am responsible for my life and no one else. Why do they say that? How do they know i am responsible? Where do they get their information from? It’s just as logical to say a latent force is at work making sure we live the life that we do. Some strange things have happened to me in my life that i cannot explain. why do they tell me how other people had gone from bad to good? I have no interest in what other people have done. How does it help me? I want a book that will tell me how i can do it, not read about Tom, Dick and Harry who have made it in the world. I don’t know how to solve my problem and expect the book to tell me. That’s the whole point of the book. To help people. When i rise to power the first thing i do is ban self help books. The ones who write the books thinking they are helping people will have to do exactly that! Help people whether they like it or not!
    I am sick and tired beyond belief of trying to explain to people that the life i live has nothing to do with me. I haven’t created the life i have. What i am living is the situation i am in and not the life. Life is a four letter word remember.
    Thank you for listening.
    Take care.

  111. Thank You So Much For This!!!! I never right on this articles or blogs, but I just have to say I have been suffering over a panic attack because I lost my part time job that I thought I loved. I thought everything was ruined and couldn’t get out of my own head. I have read so many articles that resonated a little bit here and there. Non- compare to empowerment of your words and the since of relief I feel. I hope to put what I have learned here to good practice!

  112. janice a smolen says:


  113. So weird…. Only because I’ve never so much as even thought about posting or replying to anything ever (yup, Facebook too) until now. I confused myself, because the me I know, never cry over stuff I read or movies etc. It hit home for me, Chris. I know im not the only one who’s been kicked while they were down, but I was so far down and kicked so hard. I mean really super hard, by 100 people wearing big steel toed boots (not in a literal sense of course). I wanted to get up but didn’t know how. My husband and his whole family turned on me when he went psycho from doing meth. He lied and stole from everyone, me included. I still don’t know what I did. Anyway, he turned into monster and they supported all the mean things he did to me…I don’t get it. My family lived across the country, so it was just me for everyone to gang up on. I know blah, blah, blah. My point is, I think I know how to, and that I can stand up now. Thank you. I mean it. Thank you.

  114. Chris, I’m sitting here after reading your post, trying to figure out the way to express what I’m feeling after reading it and I’m struggling with the words. My life for the past 12 years has been one of the hardest stretches I’ve ever went through (And that is saying a lot as a Marine Infantry Combat Veteran whose unit lost 18 men in 1 battle in my early 20’s–but that was years before this 12 year stretch). During this time I had 2 heart attacks at age 35 (doctors still don’t know why), got divorced, house foreclosed upon, battled a drinking problem, lost all of my savings, got fired from a very successful, six-figure corporate job and then fell into a year-long depression where I gained 60lbs that I still carry around.

    I’ve tried repeatedly to crawl out of this slump, to read something that would push me or talk to someone who would motivate me, but nothing seemed to light the embers inside that have been, not just doused, but buried way too deep for me to find. Today is the first time where I didn’t just get teary eyed with hope, but I actually felt something that I can only define as one of my old Drill Instructors yelling at the core of my being until a spark crackled, and then a small coal started burning and now I feel a fire growing inside.

    I’m not having a moment like Tom Cruise in “Jerry McGuire” where he writes a life manifesto, but I can say that it is the first time in 12 years that I know I’m going to do something to move in the right direction. Thank you for your encouraging truths and for your “realness” in how you convey them. I can’t tell you through just writing this how grateful I am to you.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      I appreciate you sharing your struggles Damian and am rooting for you all the way.

      And THANK YOU for serving our country. I mean it. THANK YOU.

  115. (dr_mack@ yaho o. com) restored my marriage after 3 days, i am happy today because i have my man back……………………………………

  116. Jessica Hill says:

    Thank you so much Chris , some of the best advice I’ve ever read/heard…. I’ve been in a bad slump for 3 months with no motivation and no feelings for anything… Basically I’ve been existing and not living…. It’s been hard , and it’s becoming harder to get out of it every day I sit here…. Your advice is great I’m just not sure how to apply into my life . Since I feel like I’ve lost everything .
    Sincerely, Jessica

  117. Im litarally cryn my eyes out rite now. Every single word of this is what ive needed to hear. Ive been a drug addict since i was 15 years old at age 22 i met my wife also an addict im now 37. And ive been so listless and hopeless for so longi checked out of life years ago and after the latest binge i came online seeking help and this article really touched something in me and the crazy part is i knew all this deep down all along but the addict in me wouldnt acknowledge it. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey, Nick. I appreciate the comment. You will be a stronger and better man because of your struggles. You will conquer that shit.

  118. Faith Howard says:

    Dear Chris,
    I usually don’t read much on the internet , mostly because I think the better have of it is fake or false. This morning I can across your story and let me just say that I am very thankful that I did. I have been struggling with a shit to of problems for the last few years that I had pretty much came to the conclusion that my life was meant for failure. After reading this I actually felt some small gleam of hope inside , small, but it was there. I’m 40 years old , no job, nothing to my name , living on and off with my daughter and to top it off I fight a daily battle with myself and drugs. I have been so overcome with guilt and shame that I pray more days for God to take me out of this world then for him to just help me. Reading your words made me feel or really made me see that it is okay to take small steps and it’s okay to move on from all of my “what if and if I would have ” questions running through my mind everyday. You are truly an inspiration and thank you so much for sharing your story. I plan to read more of them. Hope everyone who has been feeling the way I have gets the opportunity to read this too. Have a awesome day

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Aw, hey, Faith, thank you very much for your heartfelt words. Some of the best, happiest, strongest, and most resilient people I know are the ones who had to, at one point or other, trudge through the most darkness. Seen it time and again. Wishing you the best (=

  119. Mike FitzGerald says:

    thank you so much for the post too, Chris. I am struggling with being hit with a lot of similar reasons….finances, lonliness, job and future insecrurity..I live far from my family, other side of the world, and I have had a near death acccident recently, and loss of a relationbship… I’m at the end of my rope, but reading your post tonight, ahas inspired me to try some of your suggestions and move forward instead of giving up. Another person you have really helped. Thank you brother. Please keep me in the mailimg list to read future blogs. You are doing a great thing

  120. Scott Levine says:

    I have suffered from depression from a very young age. I am at the lowest point in my life for as far as I can remember. Seeing this post has given me a little push that was needed. Thank you Chris.

  121. my 16 year relationship has ended, its been 4 months and I see no light. I read and listen to a lot of this ,but its not getting better. i work out more, i eat better, i work hard but i still feel the emptiness inside.
    i feel nothing, my family thinks im getting better but its just an act that im putting on.
    i dont know what to do

  122. I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to write your blog. Many of the things you said I have learned over the last 11-12 years since I first entered recovery. I have been stuck in a slump lately just wondering what to do with my life and what route i should take to get back on track….and i am often lonely…i think its what i use for my excuse to not move forward. Anyways i just really was so happy to see that someone else had so many of the same beliefs and values as me so i just wanted to say hello and thank you

  123. Don Berry says:

    Sitting hear at 11 trying to motivate myself to finish my website for my business, I decided to google how to motivate myself at 55 years old. I came onto this article, reading it I noticed that the guy “larry Clay”. I knew him. My youngest daughter and I workout at his studio in Grapevine. I read the rest of the article and really enjoyed the read. Im not sure what is happening with me but Im struggling in keeping my motivation and happiness. After loosing a son, a divorcen 3 heart attacks and nearly loosing my business a couple of times I get really really tired of life. Not sure why I am commenting here, lol but it was a good read Chris. Keep it up! If you see Larry, tell him Don and Journey Berry from Grapevine Tx. Said hi.

  124. You are a badass example of what it looks like when you feed your white wolf. My dark wolf didn’t like this at all he’s pissed off and taking the walk of shame to his cave deep in my soul.

    Thank you.

    I’m sitting in my blue F150 in a Hardees parking lot after having relapsed on my drug of choice and gambling, just figuring out how to chase my loss. I turned my only 30 bucks into 260 last night and then spent it all. Slept in my truck instead of a nice warm hotel room. I’ve got a long story that would take some time to explain but I’d like to communicate this: I’ve been making progress in my NA and AA steps the last few months and recently had 14 days clean for the first time in years. I feel like shit after using again and I’m penniless from the gambling. Was in a very depressed feeling sorry for myself place until reading this and –


    Like waking up from a bad dream.

    I fell off of my path 18 hours ago and I thank you for writing this.

    Very inspirational, very real, I dig it.

    I remember this moment, sun shining, snow everywhere, sore arm from donating plasma, scruffy needing to shave, have gained a slight belly…I went from feeling sorry for myself to wow I’ve got shit to do.

    Have a good day my brother.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey, Erik. I appreciate and respect your openness and honesty. Looking forward you getting back on your path. Hopefully you’ll come back stronger and more determined. I believe you will if you make your mind up to.

  125. Your post really spoke to me. I’m trying to get financial shit together and it’s like crossing a minefield surrounded by quicksand pits, all covered with 3 feet of mud. I’ve recently been trying to embrace who I am, as well as things I don’t understand (the Universe, the Force, the secret, manifestation, vision boards, etc) but I don’t know what the hell im doing and everything is written by people who do know what the hell theyre doing and have trouble remembering what the not knowing was like, beyond “just believe” or “live like it’s already in your life”. I don’t know. None of this is relevant to why I dig your post, but I felt like getting that off my chest since you brought it up lol. I have started a blog for people trying to lose weight since I successfully dieted and exercised my way to a 50 lbs lighter me, and the process is still ongoing, so I really get the part about helping others get what they want. Anyway, let’s be friends!

  126. Ashley says:

    I have been searching for something… Some words that resonate with my soul. Your words have. Thank you.

  127. I’ve been struggling with mental illness and getting on my feet for a while. Your blog definitely gave me a sense of hope and motivation. Your encouragement to use my story for good was nothing new to me but a reminder that was very much needed. Thankyou so much for taking your time to write this and share your story to inspire others, especially me.

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