How To Reinvent Yourself in One Second Flat

E0F6CD69-C338-4CA3-B30B-BEEE380F5740-w800-h600Every moment is a brand new chance to reinvent yourself.

To redefine who you are.

Right now, you get a do-over. And you can do it over anyway you want to.

Our do-over button comes factory installed. And it’s always available to us. Especially when life isn’t going our way.

We can drop the things, thoughts, attitudes, people and beliefs that don’t serve our purpose.

We can change the rules of the game, or even the fucking game itself.

We can change the direction we’re headed, the people we walk with, and the tunes we jam along the way. (Gotta have some good tunes)

We can see life—and everything in it—from an entirely new angle. One full of possibilities.

Where before we only saw a wall, now we can see for miles.

If there’s something we wanna change all we need to do is take new actions… even if they scare us… even if they hurt.

That fear and pain is the kiln through which we’re forged into something greater.

Willingness to experience fear and pain are the keys to freedom.

Willingness to suffer the pain of loss.

Willingness to walk through fears that once paralyzed us.

Willingness to look our vulnerability in the eye and say to life “come at me with all you’ve fucking got.”

Freedom.

And we can do it now.

By doing the shit that scares us, our inner-hero can kill the coward that dwells within now. Chopping off it’s fucking head.

Our bullshitter can tell the truth now.

The person we hate most can be forgiven now. Even if that person is us.

Our problems can be seen as the opportunities they actually are… now.

We can drop that story we’ve been dragging around with us for years and be reborn into something brand new. Now.

Our entire life can change this very moment. No three day seminar or fucking life coach required.

All it takes is to turn in a new direction and start moving forward… now.

Just start moving forward. It all starts with one step.

As I was finishing up this post I got a Facebook message…

For years I’ve been trying to hunt down my old friend Chris Payne. He was my best friend when I was a kid.

Me (left) and Chris Payne (right) at age 10 with a gopher snake - we were snake freaks

Me (left) and Chris Payne (right) at age 10 with a gopher snake we caught – we were HUGE snake freaks

I haven’t seen him since I was about 15 or 16 years old. Last I heard he’d moved back to Australia where he was originally from.

I think about the cray stuff we did all the time. We were little fucking maniacs me and that kid. Most 10 year-olds are. But we took it to a whole-nother level.

So recently, after years of trying to locate him I found his mom on Facebook and messaged her. She didn’t get back to me until just now. I was about to publish this post and saw her message come in. So I wanted to check it since I was excited to hear about how Chris was doing and how I could possibly get in touch with him so we could catch up.

She told me that even though he had so many great things going for him he had taken his own life in 2005.

This post is dedicated to Chris.

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Talk soon,

Big Chris

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Written by Chris McCombs

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Comments

  1. Sean O'Callaghan says:

    I’ve read this 5 times now mate. That person i hated really was myself, more profoundly that i had even realised. It was destroying everything i had.
    5 weeks ago i had to pull this off, in some personal stuff. Probably the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do, or will do.
    Everything is day by day at the moment, but goddamn mate this one really gave me strength today. Got me real deep down in the feels. Until this post, the only thing that gets me through the week is oly lifts and 5/3/1.
    Just wanted to say thanks, you’re a legend.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks Sean

      Yeah man, I used to have self-hatred so bad I would stare in the mirror and tell myself what a piece of shit I was… like daily

      Good you’re making a transition my man

      There’s a great book called Compassion and Self-Hate my uncle referred me to years ago

      Forgive yourself brother for anything you may feel shame about, love the shit outta yourself and move forward helping other people bro

      Much love

  2. This is dope

  3. Chris, your blog post came to me at exactly the right time, and lately at lot of shit has been happening in my life at exactly the right time.

    You see, I have been working on reinventing myself for a couple of years now with the help a ONE GREAT THERAPIST. She has been a hell of a teacher, introducing me to spiritually and the universe, positive affirmations, practising loving-kindness to myself and other, trusting my myself and the universe and so on.

    In three weeks, my husband and I will be changing our lives, moving from a small town back to the big city with job opportunities waiting for us.

    I am so ready for this change and to continue reinventing myself.

    Thank you for your post today, the posts from the past and the posts that I look forward to reading in the future. You are one hell of a guy….I love ya.

    Maureen

  4. My condolences to your friend. Your posts never cease to make an impact on me,no lie.

  5. Thank you Chris. You always keep it real and hit the nerve.

  6. Perfect. Timing. Thank you. And thank you for what you do and how you bare your soul to us. No one else seems to have the Balls to do that…on the surface they do but if you look behind the curtain it’s all marketing and sales propaganda. Not you. And THAT Brother is what makes you…well…you. You are making a difference in our lives. You are in mine. Please. Don’t. Ever. Stop.

  7. Are you for real??? I have been reading your posts for the last few days and Wow… I am speechless! This what I really need to read every single day to remind myself that we must enjoy life by not taking it so seriously!

    You are definitely a great motivator and please keep doing this because You are doing a terrific job my brother!!!

    Thank you so very much for sharing your posts and I wish this world would have more people like yourself!

    Albert!

  8. Hi Chris,

    Superb as usual. Simple, superb, and spot-on target! Keep it up. You are gifted.

    Dave

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks Dave

      Especially about the gifted part

      A lot of the times I think I suck at this stuff

      words like what you just said help a ton

  9. Wayne moore says:

    Chris,

    I really needed this after a tough few days. I am sorry for the loss of your friend, it reminds me of feelings I have had lately, I have a wonderful family, ok job and a roof over my head and food in my belly, yet depsite having these things sometimes negativity takes over and although these thoughts are only brief, I think about ending it all. Even the thought of my lovely wife and kids does not stop these feelings when they come. I still attribute the majority of these to be over weight but more than that, the addiction to the processed, junk foods that got me hear. I gave recently torn my groin and had to stop lifting, back to the gym today, always makes me feel better squatting some heavy shit. Just need to cut out those processed foods these bastards have a lot of us addicted too. Thanks for another great post, always kick the truth, thank you so much.

    Wayne

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Wayne, I know how it goes man

      I’ve been in a similar place many times

      Do what you gotta do to keep on keeping on man

      especially for your children

      can’t ever do that to the kids ya know

      do what you gotta do to get right man

  10. Sorry to hear your friend isn’t somewhere out there, doing his thing on this planet.
    This made me feel so sad for you, his mom, and the world…we are all necessary to the formula of life!

  11. Another great post that speaks to me on a deep level Chris.

    I’m getting into the “old fart” age, just turned 58. What is sad is that so many friends that I have known for most of my life, seem to stop changing, or reinventing themselves, because they have gotten older.

    It is like they reached a certain age where they stopped listening to rock and started listening to Liberace.

    The term “set in his ways” applies to them.

    There is nothing in our genetic makeup that once we reach a certain age, we have to stop improving ourselves, that we have to stop learning new shit, that we have to give up heavy metal (ain’t fucking going to happen for me) and start learning to square dance (SHUDDER!).

    I have found that the older I get, the more radical I get in my thinking and I love it. I told someone one time that I had been thinking outside of the box for so long that I forgot where the fucking box is.

    I plan to live to a ripe old age of….whenever my life ends. I will live it on my terms and refuse to be fit into a mold.

    My personal reinvention is a daily thing in my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      We see things in a very similar way Randal

      and this

      “It is like they reached a certain age where they stopped listening to rock and started listening to Liberace.”

      is HILARIOUS

      so is this:

      “I had been thinking outside of the box for so long that I forgot where the fucking box is.”

      classic

      yeah man, personally I get better with age

      no doubt

  12. Oh Chris… your blog has been really inspiring me since last month. i feel under a lot of pressure with my school this month. then my friend told me that is have senior-itis!!! But to hell with that! i wont let that get in the way :)
    Thank you for creating this blog!!! it’s really building up my confidence and self-esteem for the better. :)
    YOU ROCK \m/

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey thanks Swazi

      life always has tests and trials for us

      after school it will be some other shit

      but in actuality, none of it really matters man, it’s what going on inside that counts

      check out the book ‘the power of now” by eckhart tolle

      he breaks it down real well

      helped me a ton to not attach to all the BS

  13. Thanks Big C for the great words and I’m very sorry about your friend. There was a reason you have been thinking about your friend. My best and bless you brother. Keep the faith-thoughts are always with you-

    E

  14. So sorry to hear about your friend. My heart goes out to you Chris as I think I know what your feeling right now. I lost my best friend the same way and I’ll never forget the empty feeling I had when I learned the news. Your post today is – like all your posts – spot on. Next to my morning coffee there is nothing that gets me excited in the morning like finding a new post in my in-box. Thanks for being real and sharing your soul. Your messages move me and give me hope and some days they’re the only hope I got. Don’t stop sharing. You really do make a difference in this world!

    Ron

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      hey right on Ron, thanks man

      this:

      “Next to my morning coffee there is nothing that gets me excited in the morning like finding a new post in my in-box.”

      Stoooooooked me out brother, big time

  15. Such a shame about your friend. Sorry for you and his family. I’m sure each contact from a former friend to his mom is painful. Brought tears to my eyes thinking about it for you both.

    Great timing. Thanks for what you do.

  16. Steve MacCormack says:

    Great work Chris as usual brother…you never let us down man! So sorry to hear about your long lost friend, tough stuff bro. That’s why you write this, to help us become stronger and better at dealing with the shit that life tosses at us! I lost my younger brother to suicide 1 year ago this past weekend and then I discovered your blog and after months of not writing I started again…thanks to your words of inspiration, heartache, and strength. Keep it coming my friend, you are greatly needed in the world to more than you’ll ever know.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Steve, man…

      sorry about your brother

      very cool you started writing again

      and yeah, for me, writing is therapy for SURE

      thanks for your comment Steve

  17. Jeffrey Lynne says:

    Lovin’ your soap box, Chris. Good stuff. Keep it up.

  18. Maybe your best yet! This is PERFECT:

    “…fear and pain is the kiln through which we’re forged into something greater.
    Willingness to experience fear and pain are the keys to freedom.”

  19. Preach it brother! Letting the past live rent free in your mind is for suckers!

  20. Kristi Chapman says:

    Do you do any life coaching?

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey Kristi, actually I don’t

      I only coach people on either building a blog/online following or a personal training business

      But don’t do life coaching

      however, i’m honored you’d ask (=

  21. Man, every time I read one of your articles I have new favorite article by you. Keep up the great work! I grew up with a lot of anger at the world. I’m just now starting to let go of that anger and your site has been a tremendous help. Probably because I spend the days kicking the shit out of life instead of cowering in the corner as it beat the hell out of me. I can’t thank you enough.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Oh so cool Dave, yeah i know about the anger man

      almost all of it stems from fear

      Best to cut that shit out at the root

  22. Chris you’re the best, thank you for sharing the way you think. Everytime I’m so fucking angry, reading your articles really calm me down. I’m sharing this to my best friend. And may i ask.. what music do you listen to? your fav artists? :D

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey Victoria

      thanks for the kind words

      When I work I like John Coltrane, Elliot Smith, The Black Keys, Everlast, Mumford and Sons, White Strips, Al Green, Bill Withers, Stone Sour, Ray Lamontange, Oasis, Twilight Singers, Cross Canadian Ragweed, Wade Bowen

      When I train Anthrax, Stone Sour, Slipknot, Metallica, Five Finger Death Punch

      I like all kinds-a-shit (=

  23. Been reading you for a while and often come back to posts when I need a lift. I’m finding it a real struggle to give up the self-hate — seems like it is a habit. I’ll keep following you and hopefully something will shift for me. Thanks for what you do, love it all!

  24. You are amazing with your words thanks for expressing it so well, you have helped me so much. I’m so sorry for your friend.

  25. I am so grateful to you. You will never really know how much. I don’t think I am the typical person to stumble upon your page, but I am glad I did. I am struggling with so much, including my ability to basically cope and even survive. No one would see that much, but the cracks are beginning to show. I have had untreated Lupus for years and finally have a script to pick up in the morning. My body is shit and I am always fatigued and in pain. I also have OCD, that I keep pretty hidden from people. You could say I am high functioning with the OCD and lucky that the lupus hasn’t affected my organs in a bad way. Also, I am tough as nails, although only those close to me see that. I power through most of the time. Despite lupus and OCD, I work a high stress more than full time job. All I ever do is work and recover. Seriously, that is ALL I do. I never socialize, go and do anything anymore, or even do hobbies. I am a fat, sick, middle aged, possibly menopausal woman, who is actually pretty awesome in many ways, but…. I have survived this, because I felt my job was a mission for me AND to be able to have to have a very modest home and basic needs met. (I’ve been homeless twice, but now have a lower middle class professional job as a social worker). My job is killing me, and I can’t quit. I have impossible workloads and bosses that are asshole bullies. I had two clients die of heroin OD’s this past week and I can’t help but think I might could have prevented it. I couldn’t, but the OCD doesn’t know that. The average time that someone can keep my job is less that two years. I have seen people quit within a few months, because it so hard and stressful. I have kept my job now for 3.5 years. The problem is now I am actually fucking up some due to the bullying type stress and my reaction to it. The OCD is getting bad and I obsess about suicide at least once an hour. I am terrified that I will impulsively quit my job and love the home I just bought and my family will be homeless again. I am afraid of losing my health insurance and not having my lupus treated or my cancer come back.

    Anyway, I have been struggling to find some type of advice or inspiration online for weeks now. All I find is new agey crap, everything will be okay crap, and other magical thinking type of pablum. And then I found your website. I find it inspiring and helpful without insulting my intelligence or my reality with Pollyanna type crap. Thank you so much for sharing. I feel as though I might could go back to work tomorrow. I don’t know how long I can keep it up, but right now I’m just trucking along one day at a time. Anyway, I felt the need to say, thank you. You have actually saved me for right now.

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