Screw ‘Em and Then Do This

1546292_10152134733110358_438597974_n-w800-h600There are people who expect you to live by their rules. Often, it’s because they have no control of their own lives and find it more soothing to their sad little hearts to try to get others to live up to their expectations. And you happen to be one of those “others.”

There are people to whom you mean nothing more than what you can do for them. There are A LOT of these people. They see you as a pawn in their self-indulgent little chess game.

There are people who want to see you fail. Your setbacks make them feel a tiny bit better about their own life, even if just for a few seconds. In their eyes, your suffering is worth that little rush of superiority they get. I’ve encountered a lot of this in the business and marketing world, where oftentimes one’s success is measured by how much better he’s doing than everybody else.

Now I’m not just talking about your competitors, rivals, and enemies here.

Some of these people are probably close to you—amongst your coworkers, friends, and maybe even in your own family.

And then there’s you.

Now, if you’re like me, you’ve been the one who’s projected undue expectations on others. You’ve enjoyed seeing people fail—even good people you genuinely care about. Maybe you’ve even used the living shit out of someone—or lots of someones—just so you could get your way.

If you’re like me and catch yourself doing this stuff from time to time, ease up.

Give people the freedom to be and do their own thing. Pull people up and root for their success. And instead of looking at people for what they can do for you, come from a place of what you can do for them.

And for the ones who want to use you or see you fall—don’t give them the satisfaction.

It doesn’t do you, or them, any good.

Instead, lead by example as someone who lives by a solid code and walks their own path, regardless of what others think, say or do.

Talk soon, Big Chris

P.S. I’d love to hear your comments below

Artwork up top of badass bear head by Joshua Coffy

Written by Chris McCombs

Just put your primary email in here and I’ll be sure to hook you up ( I hate spam too so I promise to keep it private and never share it with anyone) … I’ll see you on the other side

Comments

  1. *highfive* :) Great stuff!!!!! Love that these cues for self awareness are out there :)

  2. Just in time! Been at it with a co manger of the supp shop I manage and been looking everywhere for how to deal with his chess game! Mccombs comes through. Thanks brotha

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      you’re looking for clues brother, that’s a great place to start, look and you’ll find the answers (=

  3. I would be curious to see your opinion of those who try and control you, not because they want to see you fail, or want to use you, but because they do care about you and their ego tells them their way is the best way. I have a few people in my life who think because my beliefs in life or how I handle certain situations is “wrong”, because its not what they do. They think they know whats best for my career, for my friendships, for my hobbies. They try and show me how I’m wrong, and I should just shut up and listen to them and I’ll realize how much better my life can be. Not because they want me to lose, but because they think their way is the only way to win. How do you deal with those people?

    • Jeff Newton says:

      I work alongside some people who also try to convince me that they are right. I respect this and I am assertive when I tell them I have a few methods which may or may not be smarter than the practiced method. In turn, they preach “think outside the box” and you will figure it out. After I jump out of that fuckin’ box and show them there are various ways to achieve getting something done they see that I am a thinker acting on action and reaction. An example of something which transpired at my job today was when I started organizing an area of the interior of a farm building/shop. There were about a half dozen heavier chairs in there that shouldn’t have been. Naturally, being the organized freak that I am, I flipped them up and walked with them one at a time, resting on my head to where they are designated to be. After the fourth one, the lazy co-worker, bosses son asked me, “Why don’t you load them onto a truck and haul them over?” As I kept walking past him I responded with, “They are heavy and I don’t want to double and triple handle them! I have other shit to do today.” What would have taken more energy from me by loading and unloading them, would have also had me running behind at some point. In ten minutes the job was done and I started the next task. I have learned through experience the past 27 years that the only way to get something done is to do it yourself and ask for help when it is truly needed. Most often, I will sooner go it alone. I have always been a person to go against the norm, fight conformity and if they expect me to fail…that is all the psychology I need to motivate the motivation even more to succeed. Tell me I’m gonna fail at something and I will prove you wrong each and every time! The satisfaction for me is seeing the smug dis-satisfaction on the faces who doubted me and huge smiles from those who believed in me. Obvious insecurities somewhere from some people.

      • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

        Hellyeah. I know exactly where you’re coming from Jeff. and I can so relate to this:

        “Tell me I’m gonna fail at something and I will prove you wrong each and every time”

    • A new reader of your blogs Chris.. And I’ve related to most that I’ve read so far.
      I’d like to have your views on the problem mentioned above as to how you deal with those controlling people who might care for you but you have to live by their rules or they will have nothing to do with you.

      • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

        hey thanks sonny, hopefully I answered in the above comment. Not sure it’s the right answer, or even if there is one, but it’s just what’s worked in my experience.

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Blake I can relate. I’ve had this issue before with close friends who saw everything through the eyes of their religion. I don’t know your exact situation, but in my own life I know it’s been best when I’m just open, honest, assertive about how I feel and am just myself. I think it was hendrix who said something along the lines of “since I’m the one who’s gonna die my death, I’m gonna be the one to live my life” – I probably just screwed that quote up bad but you get the point.

      If you’re just yourself, and aren’t harming others, or shooting heroin or something, it’s best just to tell them thank you for their input, and then do your own thing. If they have a problem with it, it’s their problem not yours. At least that’s been my experience. Everyone judges and has an opinion, but if you walk your own path from your heart, their judgements and opinions wont matter much

      Hope this helps

  4. Levirteen May says:

    THAT IS SO TRUE PEOPLE WILL DO SOME CRAZY SHIT IF YOU HAVE NO SELF WORTH, SO IF YOUR MIND ISNT RIGHT YOU CAN GET EATEN BY THE MIND manipulator…THAT CAN BE ANY BODY WHICH IS NOBODY……

  5. Well just in time, thank you Chris. Your posts focusing. and help to kick that shit.
    Straight up!

  6. Brohambious says:

    love the badass bear head… the post is good too

  7. Chris,
    Thanks for dealing it straight brother. Our response to the users in our lives puts us back in control.

  8. WARNING: RANT AND OFF TOPIC( go figure)

    I think sometimes people mistake usury for a win-win.

    I have offered business ideas I know will work, but, noone will help me in funding them. Then i’ll try different angles to test to see if different people will take an offer just to get any idea of mine going. It dont matter how i approach it, I still get nowhere.
    Life is weird.
    Sometimes a person just need a hand. Sometimes i wish I was a sociopathic con man, or, didnt have any ambition at all. That way i’d either get what I want, or, want for nothing.

    Life is miserable.

    I dont need a pat on the back I need flucking resources, and, we’ll see who is a world leader and who is a BSer.

    Ah well, I guess I am the lesson of what not to be.

    “To be great is to be misunderstood”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

    • Chris McCombs Chris McCombs says:

      Hey Greg, I think a lot of us can relate to “Sometimes i wish I was a sociopathic con man, or, didnt have any ambition at all”

  9. Truth is uncomfortable…yes, I admit I have been guilty of this. I have also been guilty of secretly celebrating my own failures because it kept me in my comfortable little box, and drove home the ingrained notion that I don’t deserve success. Lots to ponder…

  10. salahuddin shirazi says:

    Solid

  11. Just found your website and I tell you what….. I dig it.

  12. Two years ago, I became certified as a trainer. I was on a path a long time before that. I was told that I needed to get a real job, or a full time job.

    I even had a huge argument (understandably so, when I had defaulted on all my loans and was about facing bankruptcy and was going to get my car re-possessed the next day) about doing what I was doing.

    Surrounded by HATERS

    Having
    Anger
    Towards
    Everybody
    Reaching
    Success

    I think it really took having my back up against the wall to push me past the Dip (Seth Godin). But, I definitely kept my head up. Never having much as a kid, and not being able to afford much starting out my business helped set me up for success.

    I wouldn’t call it an altruistic monk life of self denial. But, you become savvy. You learn to budget. You learn to save money and take calculated risks. You learn to think outside of the box and leap into stratospheric success.

    The snowball effect or compound effect of taking action consistently over time pays off in the long run. Four years ago, I kept studying for two hours before I clocked into work each afternoon. I hated that place, I sat in the booth and drank a sweet tea with no ice. I would study over and over.

    I haven’t stopped learning though. You learn something new each and every day, right?

    I look at where I am now. Boy, have I screwed up a lot of things. But, I also learned a lot along the way. I’ve bettered myself. If I knew that I had to go through everything that I have had to do get where I am at today. I would be glad to say that I would do it anyway, and do it all over again.

    The Alchemist is another good book. I couldn’t wait to arrive. I was so set to arrive to a higher calling. Funny thing … well you’d have to read the book and examine your own life.

    I mentioned a few awesome books, either by quotes or name in this post. Read them, grow, and learn!

  13. Saw a lot of this stuff in the business world.

    Screw internet trolls; real life ones are much worst.

  14. Thank you Chris! I have been an avid reader of your work for sometime now. I look forward to your emails everyday. These particular blog posts give me motivation to help others the same way you do and that is why I went on to create my own blog to help others. Keep doing what you’re doing. Thanks for everything!

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