It’s funny how we can find 40 million ways to complicate our lives and think we need 73 things to be just right for us to be happy…
…When really it can be broken down into two simple words.
Coming from a guy who writes blog posts with titles like 37 Ways To Be a Total Badass, I realize this may seem a little strange, but lemme explain…
Looking back at all the chaotic, fucked-up, and depressing shit I’ve experienced…all the losses, failures, mistakes, problems, and circumstances I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy (well, maybe I would )…out of everything that was painful and heartbreaking and seemed so horrible…I can see how it was necessary for me to experience all of it, so that I can have every gift in my life that I do today.
And the more painful the circumstance, the greater the gifts.
For example, I would not have my 6-month-old daughter Zoe in my life, had every second, every inch, every loss, not happened exactly as it did.
And honestly, I would not know myself had I not lost who I thought I was.
When deep in the middle of the dark nights and shit storms, blinded by circumstances, it seems that all we can see is the hurt, anger, fear, and frustration.
But on the other side of each of those mountains is a valley more beautiful than the one before. Each dark night welcomes a new day brighter than the last.
What we do with the things that happen to us is our choice.
When bad shit happens, do we look for the gifts? Or do we resist it and fight ’til the death like a pitbull abused and beaten with a stick until it knows how to do nothing but kill.
It’s our opinion of the circumstance that causes our misery. It’s our negative perception of an event that makes it “bad.”
But whatever is…IS.
Who you are right now…whatever you’re going through…whatever is happening in this moment…it fucking IS.
The only way to truly be happy is to allow it. To accept it and embrace it for what it is. To decide to be happy no matter what kind of madness you’ve got going on in your life. And if the madness becomes something you no longer want, do something to change it—but don’t wait for the change to occur to be happy, because by the time the change occurs there’s a good chance you’ll have two or three more storms headed your way.
Acceptance is the key.
Resistance to anything is the fast-track to turning into a grumpy old curmudgeon years before you have the right to be a grumpy old curmudgeon. Save that shit for when you’re 80 (and even then it’s ill-advised, but at least you’ll have earned it).
It’s not what happens to us that really matters all that much…even though it seems like it matters. With a little time humans can bounce back from almost anything.
It’s the frame…or the meaning…that we give things that matters.
Now, if there’s something in your life to be sad about, denying those feelings of sadness and pushing them down with drugs, alcohol, some obsession, something or someone to replace what losing whatever made you sad—or putting on a fake positive attitude and Stepford Wife smile—will do more harm than good.
I’m not saying to wallow in your sorrows and turn into an asshole.
But if you wanna get back up on your feet and feel joy again….feel the “down” while you’re there, with everything in you.
Experience it head on…
Look it straight in the eye and make peace with it.
What you resist persists…so Face, Embrace, Erase.
When you deny what is, it grows in you and holds you back. Embrace “What Is,” accept the stuff you don’t like, allow it to be, take any necessary actions, move the fuck on, and laugh as often as you can.
There’s more than one human emotion. There’s no such thing as feeling “happy” all the time…no one is always totally fucking blissed-out.
The happiest people also get sad…frustrated…and sometimes even depressed.
If you want to be able to fully feel love, joy, and happiness…be willing to fully feel the other human emotions as well, even though they don’t feel good, by feeling them 100%. Then, when you ARE happy and joyous, you’ll be able to experience those feelings 100% as well.
Accept life for what it is.
You’re gonna have chaos, problems, pain, issues, disagreements, heartache, and conflict…it’s part of the job description.
But know this: without the pain, there is no growth. Without the mistakes and problems, there is no learning. Without the heartache, there is no love. Without the scars, no stories and wisdom to pass on to those who may follow.
Open your arms to life, and resist nothing.
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I’d like thank HighExistence for the simple, yet awesome, infographic … as well as the post title, which I tried to top, but simply was not able to