How to live one helluva damn fulfilling life while kicking a ton of ass and doing some super cool shit along the way
I was in the market one day and was wearing a shirt from my favorite band Stone Sour, led by the great rock front man Corey Taylor…
It’s one of the shirts I like to lift weights in…in fact, I like it so much I have two of the exact same shirt.
I rarely wear it other than to work out in because it’s a black shirt and on the front of it in big ol’ white letters it says “Stone Fucking Sour”…and little kids don’t need to be seeing that stuff, so I save it for the gym.
Usually when I’m done lifting, I change into one of my other t-shirts.
However, on this day, I forgot to bring along another shirt, so I wore the sweaty and offensive Stone Sour shirt when I left the gym for the ride home, and along the way I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few things
…I think I was getting some flowers for my girl, but I can’t exactly remember…let’s just say it was flowers; that way I come across like a nice guy here (=
Anyhow, as I’m in line, there’s this little old lady in front of me checking me out…she must’ve been up in her high seventies or eighties…and I see her reading my shirt…
I immediately try to cover up the F word with my hand and say “Oh ma’am, please don’t read that, it has a curse word on it.”
I was pretty sure I’d blocked it in time and averted the sweet little old lady from seeing something she didn’t need to see (as well as any little kids who might have been lurking about in the area by the checkstands).
As we stood in line, we made polite conversation…she was sweet…like your grandma was when you were 5.
As we said goodbye, she leaned in with a big smile and said “Have a nice FUCKING day.”
I have no idea exactly who this blog will resonate with. I’ve had a popular fitness marketing blog … KickBackLife.com… for years, but I’ve always wanted to have a spiritual slash personal development blog for people who don’t DO personal development, at least not in the traditional sense.
I always figured it would be for guys who aren’t “Dialed In” as they jump out of bed at 4:30am excited to make their green drink, do some affirmations, go for a run, and get crankin’ on some Tony Robbins audios all before 6:30 …so they can be closing deals by 8am sharp. (Nothing against Tony.)
I envisioned an audience full of dudes and dudettes who aren’t woo-woo off in the airy-fairy new age spiritual world…and aren’t super goody-goody uptight hardcore religious types either. (And nothing against any of that stuff, it’s just not who I pictured myself writing to.)
Maybe they’ve read a self-help book, saw that movie The Secret when it was making its rounds…or maybe they hit church every Sunday but are more likely to crank jammin’ tunes in their headphones than Eckhart Tolle or Brian Tracy.
I pictured dudes who drive pick-up trucks (with maybe a Harley or crotch rocket to boot)…crank hard rock, metal… punk… hip-hop…or some form of agro music…they like chill stuff too, but there’s some agro stuff in there somewhere.
I pictured them having tattoos, dropping F bombs, and saying “dude” and “bro” a lot…
They’ve seen Goodfellas, The Departed, Heat, Fight Club, Shawshank, Office Space, SuperBad, The Big Lebowski, The Hangover, and Pulp Fiction somewhere between 3 to 10 times each…maybe more for Pulp Fiction… (And hopefully they like “Good Will Hunting” as well, my all-time 2nd favorite flick behind Shawshank.)
I pictured…well…people kind of…a little…like me.
However, lately I’ve been learning that ALL KINDS of people seem to resonate with my writing…and fortunately for me it doesn’t matter that I pretty much failed English and don’t know how to type (I peck).
When I peck, people seem to listen, and they tell me the stuff I write helps them (=
And guess what? They don’t all have tattoos, shaved heads, long hair, or mohawks.
In fact, most of ’em don’t.
Some are even regular good ol’ down home country folk.
I created this new blog, ChrisMcCombs.net, because there’s stuff in my soul I need to spit out sometimes…and when I do, it seems to help all kinds of different people, some who I’d NEVER expect, to live happier, more meaningful, and fulfilled lives.
I’ve been bleeding out onto my keyboard for a few years on my other blog KickBackLife.com, my business and marketing blog for fitness professionals, in posts like my one about Ass Kickings and Lessons Learned …about some of what I’ve learned (and am learning as I go) in this crazy little thing we call “Life.”
For YEARS I’ve wanted a platform with a focus on the more spiritual posts, and “Kick Back Life” just isn’t that platform.
That blog pays my bills, from the info-products and affiliate products and programs I promote.
THIS blog… ChrisMcCombs.net… is where I can open a few veins and just let it all spill out…
…without having to be a good little quote un-quote “Marketing Guru” …and all of the trappings that come with it.
“One night I was layin’ down.
I heard my Mama and Papa talkin’.
I heard Papa tell Mama,
Let that boy boogie-woogie.
Cause it’s in him, and it’s got to come out.”
John Lee Hooker – Boogie Chillen
I love being a marketing guy…but there’s only so far you can push the envelope on a business blog.
THIS blog is for the posts that I LOVE to write, posts that don’t always have an end goal in mind…posts that come from the darkest rivers of my heart and the back alleys of my soul.
…Posts that I write when I’m “off the clock” and just having fun for the sake of writing, the posts that I’d write even if I wasn’t a professional blogger and didn’t make one slim dime from blogging…the posts that no business and marketing coach in his right mind would put on his blog.
Ever since I was a child I’ve always wanted to be a writer…even though I hated English Class…with the exception of Creative Writing.
In fact I hated most everything about school…except Art, Recess, P.E….and Creative Writing.
I just couldn’t pay attention to what the teachers were talking about…and I spent A LOT of time in the principal’s office and in detention.
When I was about 9 or 10, I was writing a book…well, my mom found it, and let’s just say due to the subject matter I was banned from R movies for a year and I had to go to a shrink every Thursday after school.
So, I’ve always loved to write.
Now, one of my goals in life is to Directly and/or Indirectly help over 1,000,000 people to live happier and more fulfilling lives.
An example of what I mean by indirectly is…on my other blog KickBackLife.com, I’m able to help fitness trainers get more clients, help more people, and help them in a more profound way
There’s often a ripple effect that positively touches the trainers, the clients, and the people in the clients’ lives…people ALL OVER THE WORLD…the United States, Australia, Canada, the U.K, Spain, Africa….you name it… (gotta love the internet).
Most of them are people who I will never meet and many of them don’t even know I exist.
But now they’re training with some trainer whose business I helped build because of my blog posts…and maybe he got the clients from one of the strategies I taught…and now these clients I don’t know are living happier and healthier lives, and hopefully they’ll be around longer on this earth for their families, and maybe even motivate some of their family and friends to lead healthier lives, in turn impacting even MORE people.
Well, this blog is where I can help even more people than that.
…a butterfly farts and there’s a Tsunami thousands of miles away…well something like that…
My blogs allow me to be a farting butterfly and rip a few good ones every now and then.
It’s my funky little contribution to the world…it’s about some of the mistakes I’ve made (and the new ones I’m making all the time).
It’s about the lessons I’m learning as I go…lessons that hopefully can help YOU to lead a happier, more fulfilling, and awesome life.
A life in the gap between right and wrong… good and bad…black and white…
…Between judgments of how others should act…and how we should be better or different or more “fill in the blank” than we are…
… A life lived in the gap between the thoughts about what we want OTHERS to think about us…
… About how life shouldn’t have dealt us such a shitty hand…
It’s about not giving a shit about the small things so you CAN give a shit about the things that TRULY matter.
Things like friends, family, making a difference, creating cool things, and just plain old Being.
The ride of life can pull us in and trick our minds into thinking that SO MANY of the lies in our heads are true…
… So many of the illusions are real…and so many things matter that don’t matter one fucking bit.
A life where you Rise Above the things that are holding you down from whatever it is that you want deep down in the pit of your soul.
A fulfilling life where you get to kick a ton of ass and do some super cool shit along the way.
Personally, I’ve had to rise above negative thinking, poor self-image, low self-esteem, social awkwardness, shame, and periods of self-hatred, lack of money, attachment to money, greed, drug addictions, extreme OCD, resentments, innumerable fears, and the ego-based selfish mindset of only being concerned about what’s in it for ME…which has proven to be a losing battle time and again.
Just to name a few.
Now, sometimes it’s a daily thing…life is lived at ground zero...some stuff goes away forever, some stuff goes away and returns, and some stuff pops up on a daily basis, but hopefully today less than yesterday.
Take, for example, resentments: even though I’ve let resentments almost kill me, and I do my best to stay in a place of love and forgiveness, they can come back to bite me at any moment.
The saying “When you have a resentment it’s like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die” is TRUE, at least in my experience…but ONLY 100% of the time.
I don’t claim to have it all figured out; in fact, I realize I know only a little…
…But somehow life’s been dealing me some interesting lessons for the last decade or so, and one of the biggest gifts of these lessons are that a lot of other people seem to get something from them…and my favorite way to pass them along is in the written word…ESPECIALLY in blog posts.
“Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?”
To make a long story short…
From age 14 or 15 until age 30 I was a hopeless drug addict…I entered my first rehab at age 16.
I started selling weed when I was 17 and by my early 20s I was an interstate and international narcotics trafficker.
During this period one of my closest friends in the whole world was murdered right across the street from me in a home invasion revenge killing and rip-off. RIP Shannon.
At age 24 I was busted by the Orange County Narcotics Task Force and did a little bit of time.
This was followed by periods of homelessness and stays in jail and the county psych ward.
After 15 years of craziness I got sober and became a dramatic “night and day” success story.…things just flowed.
Serendipitous experiences became the norm.
I was able to create an “awesome” life for myself…two successful businesses, making almost 7-Figures a year, a large online following, ripped and muscular body, huge house, sports car, toys, and a picture-perfect family.
But here’s the bitch of the bunch…I ended up more miserable than I’ve ever been…
…Miserable because I started to think I was cool and wanted to take the credit for all this amazing stuff in my life…
You see, after about 5 years of sobriety, I stopped doing some of the things that had helped me get sober in the first place…
..Meditation, helping other people with no expectation of anything in return, living in the now while striving towards a better future. That kind of stuff.
I made money my god, become an insane workaholic, and put business before everything…missing out on so much time, all so I could reach my financial goals.
I was driven by fear.
I had no spiritual connection, no focus on helping others unless it involved them giving me money…and I became a big ol’ egomaniac who felt I was entitled to all the great things in my life.
I had lost my desire to help others and make a contribution to the world.
I just wanted to make money and be admired by others…I had let a giant hole well up deep inside me.
A hole that can’t be filled by anything of this world.
I TRIED…big emphasis on “tried”…to fill the hole inside with things outside of myself…
…Money, Possessions, Sex, Popularity.
They actually SEEMED to work for a little while, but in the end it all came crashing down.
…In essence, I had traded my soul for the world…
“The things you own end up owning you.”
After the better part of 10 years clean and sober, I relapsed into the worst drug addictions of my life and had an INSANE mid-life crisis…I’m not talking about just any mid-life crisis—this one was fueled by massive amounts of steroids and bodybuilding drugs, street and prescription drugs, extreme levels of OCD, and a beast inside that needed to destroy everything I had created in the last 10 years.
And I did a fairly good job of it in a reasonably short amount of time.
In a 12-year period I went from a hopeless opiate addict…so miserable I didn’t see how I could live another day (there were days I’d consume over 120 Vicodin…along with a cocktail of other goodies like xanax, weed, and alcohol)…
…To clean and sober…having an extremely reasonably happy life filled with periods of massive personal growth and spiritual development…
…To forgetting what’s important and throwing it all away…losing just about everything…with the exception of my online business…(however, it DID take a substantial hit from this period)…
…To total surrender, checking myself into a detox, and starting over.
There was a lot of loss.
…But what’s weird is, in the losing, I actually found a freedom I never knew was possible…
Like Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption, I crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side…well at least on the inside.
Life is still full of all kinds of problems, but that’s part of this game of life…it’s what we DO with the problems that matters.
Do they make us weak? Bitter of hateful? Full of fear?
Do they kill us?
Or do they make us stronger, better, more loving and accepting?
“Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.”
This blog is my platform to express things I can’t properly express on my marketing blog…well I CAN, but this blog is a MUCH better fit for it.
It’s where I can carry my message and share some of the wild lessons I’m learning along the way in this crazy and AMAZING ride we call life…
…Living in the present while passionately creating an incredible future and life for yourself and those around you.
It’s about giving it your fucking all, accepting your flaws and the flaws of those around you, and just being YOU…and hey, there’s no one else better to play the part anyway…right?
It’s about being 100% true to yourself and doing the things you enjoy…those things that get you into the Gap between the never-ending chatter, fears, and judgments of the mind
It’s about Being more than Doing
It’s about being the most reasonably happy person you can be.
It’s about taking the hits and getting right back up.
And since we’re human we can’t ALWAYS feel happy…so WHATEVER it is you are in any moment….be that fully.
There’s no way around, only through.
“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”
Embrace everything, even your greatest fears, as they’re the passageway to your deepest desires.
This blog is a signpost to the Gap.
When I was a kid I used to race BMX and take my bike off jumps to get into the Gap…literally hundreds of times a day…I have the scars to prove it.
…Years later it was dirt bikes and then street bikes…
Even drugs, sex, and music have gotten me into the gap.
However, not always with the best outcomes.
The Gap is available to us at any given moment, it’s that place of no-thought between the thoughts.
Some call it the flow, some call it present moment awareness, others say “being in the now.”
Today I find it in blogging, meditation, looking into my newborn’s eyes, training, or just taking a breath and being still.
It’s about choosing love over hate, forgiveness over resentments, acceptance over resistance, truth over lies… and the moment over the past or future…which aren’t real anyway and only exist in the mind…
…At least that’s been my experience.
It’s about rising above mediocrity, racism, judgement, negative thinking, and ANYTHING that doesn’t allow you to have the most kick-ass life possible…
…a life of happiness, fulfillment, and contribution.
Oh, and I guess I’ll do a few lines of the official “About Page” stuff…
– Outgoing Introvert (it’s a weird mix)
– Master Mistake Maker
– Smart Ass
– Official Member of The Clean Plate Club (I even finish all my veggies)
– Obsessive Compulsive
– Information Marketer
– Internet Marketer
– Affiliate Marketer
– Weight Lifter
– Part Wayne Dyer
– Part Henry Rollins
– Part Teddy Bear
– Father of four…had none until I was 35, now I’m 42 and have 4 (=
– Sober Alcoholic and Drug Addict
– My first product launch of an information product, Market Annihilator, did just under $304,000.00 in billable sales in about 1 week’s time…since then I have launched close to 20 information products
– Have had multiple massive business failures
– Made a complete documentary about the Internet Marketing Guru world that was never released due mostly to personal problems between me and my partner on the project
– Self-absorbed…but doing my best not to be
– A Human Being Being Human and Doing My Best To Enjoy The Journey and Help a Few Others Along The Way
Alright, I’m out…. talk soon (=
P.S. To learn more, here’s a post that sums up many of the principles this blog is all about, check it out: 37 Ways To Be a Total Bad Ass
AKA Chris McCombs
“I’ll ride the wave, where it takes me!”